Slut Humour


Candi fisting herself with Belladonna Bitch Fist toy

I’ve never been a huge fan of the Kit Kat. They always seem like the chocolate bar trying too hard to be a treat when you could have something more exciting to me (and I miss the foil because I’m old.)

Yet yesterday’s court ruling about not being able to trademark their shape has tickled me by introducing me to an excellent and highly relevant joke about them. I paraphrase since I suspect the original name used was to mock them not applaud them. But I’m happy to put myself in the joke ‘what’s the difference between Candi and a Kit Kat?’

You only get four fingers in a Kit Kat…’

Slut Humour

Carrying On


After fucking me to more orgasms than I could count while he bent me over the bed and tightened my corset, my Master flipped me onto my back on the bed and left me to catch my breath.

I should have guessed it wasn’t actually kindness or consideration for the fact he’d tightened the corset more than ever before since Princess wasn’t there to plead on my behalf.

Instead he used the interlude to pick out a toy to slip into my cunt to stretch it with. Lying back blindfolded with my cunt wide open with how turned on I was, I couldn’t work out which toy he’d chosen to tease and then fill my cunt with.

He had quite a few to choose from where I’d laid them out as instructed but it was difficult to tell just filled up I was especially when the toy slipped in so very easily. He fucked me rhythmically with it as he told me to rub my pierced clit as he slowly listed all the slutty changes he’s made to my body in the past 18 months.

I was getting wetter and more open with each thing he reminded me of. My body is completely different in every way to when I met him and I prefer every change he’s made. Particularly a cunt that can take a second toy in it like he used at that point and come so easily around both.

And if a cunt can take two toys, it can take two cocks. Handily the cock that comes with the strap on is the same size and thickness as his and he proved it by slipping both into me at the same time and fucking me slowly but deeply until I came again.

Each time I come round something large, it stretches me out that little bit more and when he changed tempo and slid his fist into me instead of the two cocks, I almost felt loose around his hand and it took him to interlock both his hands and fist me that way to tip me over into another orgasm.

I was so stretched open that when he pulled me on top of his cock again, there was a brief moment where my cunt took it and the John Holmes toy at the same time and it felt incredible for both of us until my cunt actually couldn’t hold the toy in any longer.

He made do with fucking my ruined cunt until he came into it and I think he liked the feel of his handiwork because he came so hard he almost bucked me off his cock with the intensity of his orgasm.

I know he wants me to not be able to feel his cock inside me eventually but it’s tricky not to when someone fucks you like that…



Carrying On


My Master had set me quite a challenge the other night with the task to take the John Holmes toy and the smaller strap on cock at the same time. Unsurprisingly I struggled and didn’t manage to do it first time.

I was looking forward to trying again last night because I love those progressive tasks he sets me. They start off almost terrifyingly impossible and then just about manageable. Next thing I can do it if I try really really hard and then suddenly it seems so natural and easy, I can’t remember how I couldn’t do it.

I always think back to the biggest butt plug I have. I’ve never managed to take it in my ass and my Master once spent two hours by phone when I believe he was meant to be at work instructing me how to try to no avail. He then got me to wash it and try putting it in my cunt next.

Another hour of effort on my part still got me not much further than halfway and he had to come round in person to finish the task before fucking me as reward. Yet the other week, he slipped that plug into my pussy while I was wearing the strap on and I didn’t notice it was there.

But last night, my cunt felt every centimetre of any of the three dildos I used. Big one, middling sized one and tiny skinny one, they all felt uncomfortable enough for my cunt to rebel and ache.

I messaged my Master to tell him I was struggling and was amazed when his almost flippant answer was ‘poor Candi, another night without an orgasm’. I’d expected much more of an order from him.

And then he told me to spread my legs and hold my palm against my cunt and tell him how it felt. Instantly I was wet and ready for him. I also noticed how much my cunt had changed since the first time he told me to do that for him. So much more open and stretched and better feeling.

He told me to take the small strap on cock and rub it against my pierced clit and slide it up and down my cunt for him, asking did my cunt want to feel it? From barely functioning a few minutes earlier for me, my cunt was practically sitting up and begging for his orders and the cock.

Generously he allowed me to fuck myself with it hard and fast until I came and it felt fantastic especially as it was such an unexpected treat of an orgasm. He reminded me afterwards that it wasn’t just an orgasm. It was a reminder of who owns my body and how he can make it respond any time.

Then he ordered to me tell Princess who had been reading our conversation to suck his cock so she wouldn’t feel left out…



New Skills

I instantly loved wearing the strap on my Master put onto me. The tightness of the straps along with the very tight corset feel incredible and it turns out having a cock in front of you is intoxicating.

Princess was still blindfolded and not entirely sure what was happening but as I leaned over her, my Master took it off so she could see the size of cock she about to take her gaping cunt.

It turns out that fucking someone rather than being fucked takes a little bit of adjustment and I struggled to get the right angle into her. My Master kindly volunteered to give me a demonstration of how to fuck his wife hard and deep to help me out.

And then I was lying on top of her and my new cock was sliding into her and she was loving it and pulling me in deeper as she fucked me back. My Master was lying beside her kissing her as his cock got harder and harder as he watched us fuck.

I had new found respect for what hard work it is to be the one who fucks someone. It might be very slightly easier if you can feel what you are doing but either way it takes a lot more effort than I’d realised. Now I know why men appreciate a slutty girl who doesn’t just let herself be passively fucked but actively participates.

I didn’t object though when Princess went on top of me lifting her skirt up so I could see her riding my cock hard on top of me. The pressure on her against me was making me extremely close to coming and seeing her getting fucked was one of the hottest things I’d ever seen.

But my Master is a man of many surprises and he had something even hotter planned. He bent Princess ass up in the air still on my cock and fucked her with his at the same time. The girl who has only ever been fucked by her husband until now was taking two cocks at once and begging for more.

I was incredibly turned on and slightly jealous as I haven’t managed that myself yet. But the idea that my Master shares Princess so equally with me like that is even better than just being filled up with cock until I can barely speak.

My Master and I then switched places with her on top of him and me fucking her ass as he came incredibly hard into her stretched cunt. Watching his cock slide in and out her in rhythm to mine made me forget I hadn’t quite come with the strap on because it was even more intense.

I very much enjoyed lying between them both afterwards, literally fucked out but with my new cock still between my legs as we all recovered. On his orders I don’t get to come again until I’ve made Princess come with the strap on and I’m so keen I’d probably have tried again the same night if she could have taken it…

New Skills


I borrowed Princess for so long the other night that my Master thought I wasn’t going to give her back and made sure to punish me for my lack of permission. I couldn’t have another orgasm until Princess had had an orgasm with the pighole.

Seems simple until you remember that Princess has never managed to take and open the pighole and was in fact finding it actively unpleasant and painful each time. I liked the idea of stretching her capacities in all ways but I also set aside thoughts of orgasms any time soon.

I wanted to get her less nervous about the pighole so I took it out in my handbag the other day when we went shopping so she got used to it being around. Then my Master got home from work and ordered us to go and try it while he took a shower.

I started off by fucking Princess’s soaking wet cunt with one finger at a time and adding another one each time her cunt tightened round me. It didn’t take long to have my whole fist inside her and then switch that for the folded pighole.

I slipped the pighole straight into her, not even needing some lube because she was so ready for it and just as she was ready to be fucked with it, I just left it inside her knowing that Princess has an impatient bratty streak and she’d want to open the pighole at her own pace rather than be told.

Having begged to have the pighole taken out every time we’d tried it before now, she reached down while I wasn’t looking and opened it wide so calmly and easily I wasn’t quite sure she’d done it until my whole fist slipped inside her again with ease.

I rewarded her with the wand and my Master timed it perfectly to come into the bedroom so he could fuck her with the fully open pighole stretching her cunt wide. He’s much more patient than her so he fucked me to an orgasm first and made her wait wide and ready.

And then he made me lie under her cunt as he fucked her from behind so I could look up and see her gorgeous new rubber cunt being pounded by his cock as I licked her clit. Neither of them have ever looked hotter and it took a lot of willpower not to lick his balls as well but I didn’t want to distract as he fucked her harder and harder.

I don’t think I’ve seen either of them come like that before. She looked completely undone and his orgasm seemed to last several minutes. She slipped the pighole out and he reminded me they were keeping this one.

But we’ve still got to stretch her that little bit further so her orgasms push the pighole out as she comes…



My Master was very generous with his slut last night. He let me borrow Princess all afternoon and then all evening until he asked where she was at 1am and I set her home.

I got a little bit distracted by playing with the wand between us again which this time made me squirt for the first time with another person. You can understand that I wanted to play with that time and time again…

Then there was more trying to fist her with the Belladonna Bitch Fist toy and watching how stretched and open her cunt was for it. Still didn’t quite manage it but my Master has given me a new task to remind me of my place.

Princess isn’t allowed to make me come again until I make her come with the pighole inside her as punishment for getting carried away last night. She hasn’t managed it at all yet so I have lots of work to do inside of playing around to redeem myself to my Master.

And in the meantime, he’s reminded me sluts need to be seen and shared and told me to put this photo of her gorgeous open cunt up for you all…

princess fist



Slow Learner

I always thought it was me who was the slow learner but Princess was definitely taking my crown yesterday. Very slow not to argue with my Master’s orders before I met her, she talked herself out of an afternoon orgasm and into a spanking instead.

I made her wait in anticipation though and took her out for coffee first then ordered her strip her panties off and lean across the arm of the sofa to be spanked. Twenty times on each cheek of her ass on his orders.

I just made her say ‘thank you sir’ in between each spank to really reinforce why she was on her sofa with her ass in the air instead of in her bed with my fist in her cunt instead. She didn’t miss a single one either as I made her ass glow red with my hand.

Which is why it was disappointing that she missed the chance to show my Master what she’d learned later when he got home from work. Generously allowing her to finally have her long awaited orgasm with my hand inside her and him fucking her throat, he carried on stretching her with his fist as she licked my cunt until she came again.

She did say thank you but there was no ‘sir’ on the end so he punished her by fucking her cunt with his fist all over again while I held the wand on her clit until she stretched further and came even harder. She didn’t miss her thank you properly that time trust me.

And while she was still undone from her third fist fucking orgasm in under an hour, my Master finished off by fucking her ruined cunt harder than I have ever seen someone been fucked before in my life.

I almost thought he might break her but the noise of him pounding her with his cock made me ridiculously wet again despite her having licked my cunt to several orgasms just before. It was the sound of a completely stretched cunt right there…

Slow Learner