I’m a fan of the concept of Christmas but like many things less keen on the reality of it. I’m also not a fan of organised fun so it was surprising to me that I went to a Christmas panto with my Master and Princess the other night. I mean admittedly it was a queer panto at a gay bar with at least three jokes about fisting. The minimum of awkward audience interaction and the opportunity to get quite drunk definitely made for festive cheer.
It also meant it was much fun to stay at their house than go home afterwards and we all piled in bed drunkenly and my Master and I discovered we were both horny. I’ve never had properly drunk sex with Sir before and I’ve definitely never fucked him in the dark. I was enjoying being pressed up against him only able to work out of what he was doing using all my other senses.
Feeling his hands on me, then hearing him reach for the lube and the sound of him applying it and feeling his hands in me. It was hot in that frantic way you fuck when you’re drunk and horny with none of the of the niceties of sober sex. Just the urge to come and then fall asleep together. I’d forgotten that aspect of drunken fucking.
I’d also forgotten that when I when I’m drunk I never get as wet because alcohol dehydrates more than just my mouth. So I was enjoying my Master manhandling me into positions he could fuck me hard and deep with the simple purpose of coming hard instead me while Princess listened to us and played with her clit at the same time.
But it was also uncomfortable at times. Friction in ways I wouldn’t choose and I definitely took a few deep breaths at times. It didn’t stop me coming but as I fell asleep after helping Princess come I really felt that my cunt had been used and suspected Sir might have to go gently with me in the morning after that.
I didn’t think anything else of it when I woke up at 3.30am dying for a pee. I still don’t know my Master and Princess’ house well enough to be get up in the middle of the night in that barely conscious autopilot I do in my own flat and I have to remind myself to have manners and close the bathroom door even though no one would really notice.
I sat down sleepily and was jolted more wide awake than I think I’ve ever been when there was a noise like a cannonball ricocheting around the bathroom and the feeling of something heavy dropping out of my cunt. When I turned the light on I discovered that my Master had not put his fist inside me earlier but a giant metal ben wa ball*.
I think we can say my stretching training has been extremely successful because I had completely failed to notice the large weighted jiggle ball inside me until it fell out and I was standing in Sir’s bathroom thinking two things. Had I just broken his toilet and how the hell was I going to rescue a metal ball in the middle of the night?
I really had no choice except to put my hand down the toilet and fish it out before scrubbing it and myself in the posh hand wash and go back to bed hoping that I hadn’t woken anyone up with a peace shattering noise. This time I went back to sleep half horrified, half amused at the capacity of my cunt.
I did worry a bit what my Master would say when I told him this tale in the morning and luckily he found it hilarious. I found it slightly less funny when he told me there were two of them and asked where the other one was. Princess volunteered to check my cunt to no avail and they were both surprisingly good humoured that it had probably caused chaos with their plumbing just before Christmas.
We got up and made breakfast chuckling about when kinks go wrong and my Master joking about how as Christmas presents go this one had excelled itself with the sex and the amusement even if they were never a pair again and he had an awkward hour with a plumber as pay off.
After breakfast I went to brush my teeth and shower while he and Princess were clearing up and as I finished brushing my teeth, I sneezed and got an even bigger shock than in the middle of the night when I felt the second supposedly missing ben wa ball slide out of my cunt.
My mental reflexes are clearly faster than my cunt’s because I managed to avoid dropping it on my bare foot or breaking the bathroom floorboards even while laughing that I had absolutely no idea that it had been inside my cunt for the last twelve hours and I hadn’t even noticed.
The only feeling better than realising just how stretched but strong my cunt is after all that training was the moment when I walked into the living room and held a jiggle ball in each hand and watched my Master and Princess’s faces as they realised the ben wa ball was no longer missing and my cunt can perform magic tricks….
*in case you missed the small print in that link the two jiggle balls weigh 1.6 pounds in total. That’s 725g metric if you prefer. And I can’t decide if not noticing that I have something the weight of three blocks of butter in my cunt is my finest kinky moment or utterly terrifying.