Textures

Nothing has ever stood in the way of my sex life quite like having bed bugs (and apparently having hired the pest control equivalent of the Chuckle Brothers to sort the problem.) Months in and I now have no actual bed which cramps one’s style supremely.

I half joking tried using the Doxy while perched on this massive essentially balloon and the whole ‘on holiday but definitely not a sexy mini break’ vibe meant I just couldn’t get in the mood. It was as erotic as queuing for a shower at a campsite.

And then about 36 hours later to compound the saga, the seam popped on my airbed and I had to buy a new one. So be warned, the Doxy is so powerful it can break beds. I’ve put mine quietly away until I am more than 18 inches off the ground on a giant cushion just in case I burst it too and end up in A&E with an embarrassing tale to tell.

But worse than this, the constant bed bug siege means the bed, normally a place of rest and calm and enjoyment for me has become a battleground. I’m jumping at every piece of fluff, Sir has been bribed into doing manly acts moving the frame rather than manly acts to me on the frame and Princess is on bite watch. All of us are terrified of infesting their flat as well.

I’ve been getting naked as decontamination not foreplay and been terrified to go near their bed *just in case* but on Friday night Princess had a reason to be wearing latex panties and we realised that we were bed bug proofed in the hottest possible way allowing us to play while not undressing.

I put Princess on her hands and knees and ran the Doxy over her latex clad cunt and up and down her thighs and finally she got why Sir and I love the feel of it so much. This time the Doxy and the rubber worked to break Princess in all the best ways. The texture allowed the vibrations to pulse right through to her clit as I stroked and teased that soft sensitive skin right at the edge of the panties until she came hard and begging for even more sensation.

She’s rarely looked hotter than in latex with smoky eye make up and that look of utterly being undone by an orgasm she didn’t believe would happen. I love knowing her body better than her sometimes. It fills me with pure joy to give her that much pleasure.

And it made me ridiculous horny too. I was wearing a pair of jeans since right now I need clothes you can wash on 60 degrees to beat the bugs. No slinky skimpy lingerie for me at the moment. In fact I’ve become so dedicated to Sir’s order not to wear panties for him I didn’t even have them under my jeans.

Normally the seam on jeans makes them annoying to wear without underwear but right now having it press against my clit and rubbing against the Princess’s latex it was perfect. She was so wet I could hear the latex lubricating itself and I didn’t care if I left a wet patch on my own outfit.

She ran the Doxy over my cunt as she pulled the material up and down against my clit using fabric as much as a sex toy as the vibrator. And each time I squirmed hard enough to push to orgasm, she pulled the fabric as far from my cunt as possible to edge me.

And when I got a tiny bit bratty trying to pull the denim down again she pushed my hands over my head and since it was an evening about textures, she pulled her fishnet stocking off and tied me up with them.

Sir always wanted me to domme Princess but recently she’s discovered that I’m so naturally submissive that her taking control of me makes me even hotter for her and she very much likes telling me what to do. And as much as I love giving pleasure I’ve discovered that I love lying back and taking pleasure with no other distraction.

I was blissed out lying back and hands over my head and ready to be given pleasure like a the slutty version of a cat wanting to be adored when Princess stopped me zoning out by sliding my zip down and spanking my bare cunt.

She spent a while edging me back and forth, slap, smack, stop until I actually asked to come because I was so desperate to let go and just enjoy one of those orgasms that takes you right over with Princess’s hands on my bare skin and the Doxy pulsing against my swollen clit.

Definitely the most fun I’ve had with my clothes on for quite some time…

 

Textures

The Edge

I won’t lie. I haven’t been blogging much because I was distracted by some big old life stuff too but it’s mainly because my bed bug problem continues with seemingly no end in sight. Apparently the heatwave has caused an increase in them especially in London and mine have been compounded by a company who don’t know their arse from their elbow dragging out the treatment for weeks.

Not even my best flirting with workmen skills have helped this time because a) I can’t fuck a man who deals with wasps for a living without crying and b) no man wants to sleep with a woman who he knows has bed bugs. It’s the slutty customer service stand off. And it’s been miserable.

Princess reacts badly to the bites swelling up and itching and I’m also acutely aware of the risk of bringing them to her and Sir’s house. The things people do not mention in the peppy little articles about poly and safe sex. So while I’ve been seeing quite a lot of Sir and Princess, it hasn’t involved much time in bed.

Part of me has loved branching out into much more conventional ‘dating’ behaviours as a triad and I’ve enjoyed each trip to the park, dinner cooked, movie watched or night out but much as I like the boyfriend/girlfriend aspect of my relationship with them, I don’t want to  be just friends. I want to fuck them too.

So it all appeared to be back on track and Princess was ready to sleep over last week and took the opportunity to try the newly positioned bed (thanks to the bed bugs) out by tying my hands over my head and edging me for some time by slapping my cunt until I came in a squirming heap. But sadly it was her with the red marks when we’d finished not me and she had to go home leaving me to sleep alone.

But like when you allow yourself just one small taste of anything, it made me unable to keep pretending I wasn’t horny and I wasn’t missing our usual fucking habits. And I think it might have done the same to my Master and Princess because yesterday turned into all about orgasms.

Princess and I whiled a way a wait for Sir to get back from work with her capturing her enjoyment of giving me orders and controlling my orgasm again. She brought me so close to orgasm with some well placed spanks to my clit piercing I begged her to let come and then rewarded her with some undivided attention to her own clit until we were both in that state of ‘I might burst if I have another orgasm but I don’t want to stop.’

We hadn’t mentioned our greed to Sir instead sitting down to dinner when he got home and enjoying some good news but maybe he picked up the mood because instead of crashing out early after a business trip like he often does, he was in the mood to initiate orgasms.

He’s bought a pair of spectacular heeled platform boots and came into the living room to show me them. He’s a tall man anyway but in these he was towering over both us, legs for miles and cock enjoying the feel as much as Princess and I were. Almost 6 inches taller than normal, he had us take turns to kneel and suck his cock, gaining extra enjoyment from the extra effort it took both of us to reach it.

And that extra height made sucking cock all the more intense for me, slipping further down my throat than I can usually take. Princess’s deepthroat skills are second to none but mine are tentative to say the least. There’s always a moment I simultaneously think ‘oh yes’ and ‘I can’t’ and I lose my confidence and stop.

Sir pushed me hard last night with this point putting me on my hands and knees on the bed while he fucked my throat and pulled my hair and stroked my back and the pleasure/pain moment was even more overlapping than usual during deepthroat. I loved it and hated it and wanted more and wanted to stop. I wanted to please him and I wanted to fight him to get away.

But while my brain panics and my body isn’t sure, my cunt knows exactly how it feels with my clit being swollen under Princess’s fingers while Sir pushed my throat to its limits and I came for them both. I do so much love that extra edge pushing myself to submit adds to sexual acts for me.

And then I found the other aspect to my Master standing closer to seven feet tall than six feet. His cock goes even deeper into my cunt than before. Every time he fucks me I wonder if my cunt has a limit for cock and last night I realised once and for all, it doesn’t. There is at point at which his cock is too much. He fucked me harder and deeper than I think he’s ever done all balanced on high heels and it reduced me to such a cock slut I genuinely thought I was going to squirt from penetrative sex for the first time ever.

I actually didn’t really notice his orgasm or Princess’s orgasm I was so wrapped up in coming over and over again on him fucking me into a whole new level of cock worship. I love that feeling inside my cunt afterwards when you can feel just fucked you’ve been but last night I could feel it on the outside too.

The pleasure/pain of the whole evening continued every time I sat down or moved and felt the sexual equivalent of a well worked muscles and it sent a little shiver of enjoyment into my whole body with each reminder. I presume this what virtuous people feel when they hike high mountains and the body feels like muscle memory and achievement. I scale the heights of cock instead.

And best of all, Sir was all pleasure and no pain in his heels so hopefully he’ll be keen to use the boots to dom me into a greedy fuck toy again soon…

The Edge

A Real Buzz

I like to think all my fears in life are completely rational. The Tory government, abandonment, stepping on the cracks on the pavement, all the usuals. But really I am lying to myself because my greatest fear in life is wasps. Which is completely irrational since they are small, I’ve never been stung and like the rest of wildlife in the UK they can’t kill you unless you have an allergy.

But I am terrified of them (and by extension bees because when I’m running in the opposite direction at hysterical speed they look like they might be wasps) and I even had hypnotherapy to deal with my phobia of them. I can just about tolerate them in their outside environment but in my indoor space, the freak out continues.

This generally makes me not a fan of summer. All that sun and sticky drinks are usually bad omens for my ability not to look like an arm flapping lunatic around people. But age must be mellowing me because I spent the evening with my Master and Princess on Friday with the windows open to embrace the warm weather and drinking a few ciders and not watching the window like a hawk.

So we were all in the perfect mood to have an impromptu threesome next morning. My Master hadn’t seen the pussy pump in person yet so it seemed a good time to use it on Princess as she sucked Sir’s cock. She squirmed with each pleasure-pain pump of it and each stinging slap of the paddle I was using on her bare ass too.

Her cunt was swollen and dripping wet and her eyes got that glazed look of horniness where all she wants is orgasms. Sir kept his cock in her mouth and slipped  two fingers into her cunt and one in her ass and brought her to the kind of writing gasping state of orgasms where you want to keep sucking cock but your mouth just falls open with pleasure and all you can do keep gasping in enjoyment and for a hard cock resting on your lips unable to do more.

Having left her in that state of sated but waiting more Sir started fucking her ass while I put a finger inside her. The feel of his cock in her ass determined the pace at which I fucked her cunt as we both filled her up and worked in tandem to turn her into a begging mess of horniness. Greedy slut that she is she asked for the Doxy as well and she came dripping my Master’s come out her ass and they both slumped on the bed looking very content.

I was incredibly wet from watching them fuck and Sir knew it, telling me to put the pump on my cunt for him so he could see the piercing in my clit rising and falling with each time he sucked the pump tighter on my cunt. I’ve enjoyed playing with that toy on my own but someone else dictating the pace made me ridiculously horny.

So when Sir ordered Princess to play with my clit while he watched, all I could do was lie back, eyes closed only aware of the work her fingers and tongue were doing. I came several times before the kind of final orgasm that lifts your whole body off the bed and made me feel like I would squirt from so much sensation and sexual pleasure.

It’s taken me a while to get the hang of just enjoying being fucked without feeling like I ‘owe’ someone pleasure in return. The fear of being bad in bed or a pillow princess made me often unable to relax in simply receiving pleasure and believing the person giving it was enjoying it as much as I enjoy giving my partner pleasure.

Lying in bed in a just fucked heap after our threesome I discovered just how far my ability to relax has come when my Master told me a wasp had flown into the bedroom while Princess was fucking me, done a loop of the room round us, gone back out and then returned for a second sweep all without me noticing. In fact I’d managed to orgasm while it was buzzing around.

I imagined Princess and my Master looking at each other thinking ‘fuck, sex is over if she sees this’ and then laughing at how much they must have been trying not giggle or draw attention to the interloper in the room.

I’ve rarely felt sluttier or more bisexual than at this moment. Discovering wasps are little voyeurs who like to watch threesomes helps make them less terrifying. And it turns out that  all I need to cure my phobia was getting fucked by my girlfriend while obeying the man who owns me’s orders. That’s my kind of exposure therapy for sure and the ultimate act of submission…

A Real Buzz

Monogamish

Half of me wishes I’d known all the words and terms for relationships involving more than one person years ago and half of me cringes hearing them now because I have never been a fan of anything with very strict social codes.

When I met my Master he told me that his relationship with Princess was open. In my experience this was usually just the thinking man’s version of ‘my wife doesn’t understand me’ or ‘we aren’t having sex’. An ‘open relationship’ to many men seems to have mutated into ‘I’m open to do what I like but my partner doesn’t know and the same rules don’t apply to her.’

But my Master doesn’t do dissembling and it was clear quite quickly even after the effects of the free bar we met at had faded that he really was in an open relationship that had agreed and defined terms between him and Princess and he was not bullshitting me with a form of performance art as fucking.

Being staggeringly un-self aware at the time (to the point where I was wondered if I was aromantic) this was a real plus point for me as my first thought about this was since he had a girlfriend there was was no danger of him developing any emotions for me (or me for him…)

I had it neatly mapped out in my head that he and I would fuck until he was bored of me, I would never really think about his girlfriend and that being compartmentalised and formal was very grown up and mature because essentially I had no idea sex and affection could co-exist. I was thinking this was the way to have cake and eat it without realising the point of cake is for it to taste good rather than just look impressive.

I was so fearful of stepping outside that ‘cool girl‘ role I’d always ended up in in that and across as negative things like ‘needy’ or ‘clingy’ or jealous that it never occurred me that people like to feel needed or like you matter to them and that most people consider emotions the standard setting in relationships no matter how informal.

I think we all know how my plan worked out. Three years later I’m disappointed I couldn’t go to Ikea with him and Princess today because I had other stuff to do. Not even sharing a bed with both of them fairly often could quite convey how much my compartments turned into feelings and commitments to both of them.

For the first six months I was still fucking other people while seeing him and then he set boundaries about that alongside gifting me my collar and I was almost relieved by those rules. Having thought I never wanted to be ‘tied down’ to be claimed felt reassuring and I had little desire to fuck anyone (except Princess on his say so.)

Branching back out into sex with other men under his orders a few months later surprised me in how uncomfortable it felt. It was like putting on an item of clothing you once loved to find it was out of fashion even though it still fit and you felt like a previous version of yourself in it. I felt strange mentioning it like going from being the slutty no boundaries fun time girl who had agreed to openness  now wanting to close things on her part was somehow reneging on my part of the deal.

A bad date ended up saying it for me and the subject of other people didn’t really come up again. I was surprised when Sir showed little interest in sex with anyone else and wasn’t sure how I’d feel if Princess wanted to date but at the same time I was aware that while I’d changed the dynamic of their marriage in some ways it wasn’t my call to make on how open they were within that.

People who love terms like ‘polycules‘ and ‘metamour‘ always bang on about how much talking is essential to non monogamous relationships of any kind and while I agree up to a point, I’m not a fan of talking for the sake of it. I like to let relationships feel natural and keep the bullet point style for therapy instead.

And sure enough in the last few weeks the subject of other people floated back into the orbit of our relationship. Sir found a potential sissy he might fuck and was invited to another threesome and Princess met a couple of women online keen to see if Tinder would offer up friends with benefits and a little exploration for them.

The thought of Sir fucking other people is hot (and the idea an ex-fuck of his wanted him to guest star just made him all the more desirable to me. No higher compliment than someone being that attracted to your partner after all.) And anything else would have been hypocrisy as that’s how I met him after all.

The idea of Princess dating caused me slightly more pause. I have generally never felt jealous. It’s an emotion I simply can’t relate to but I do have spectacular abandonment issues thanks to my fucked up childhood and I often can’t predict what will set them off. My girlfriend dating seemed like it could be a *thing* where the man who owns me fucking wasn’t.

She and I discussed it and something felt like it wasn’t quite right but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Was I secretly struggling with her fucking other people? Like 90% of my useful thoughts it came when I was washing up. That not quite in place feeling wasn’t jealousy or abandonment or feeling left out. It was feeling like I *should* feel those things when I didn’t. It was the same feeling of being in the wrong room and not knowing how to excuse myself I got when I tried to be monogamous in the past.

Both my Master and I have had the time and opportunity to explore our sexuality and sexual preferences in the way that forms you who you are as a person. Princess being younger and flipping the script round to have found life partners early on hasn’t had that and I would hate to deny her that chance we both so revelled in.

For queer kinky people who and why you fuck like you do is often so intrinsically wrapped up in your personality and your social life that it’s basically your hobby as well as your way to pleasure. It’s the basis of how you discover who you are and it would be really weird if I objected to Princess doing this in a sexual context but approved of her going to a book group in comparison. By determining her hobbies and opportunities I’d be clipping her wings and the thought of doing that was what was sitting so awkwardly.

Once I’d realised that the itchy scratchy feeling I had subsided. I also imagined straight or monogamous people asking me was I not worried she’d meet someone else and chuckling because frankly it’s damn near impossible to meet someone on Tinder or online even if you make it your life’s work. Plus I know just how underwhelming most casual fucks are in bed. There was nothing to fear.

In fact I walked Princess to her date and went home with no worries at all. My only interest was whether she had fun. I didn’t spend my evening tormenting myself picturing her in bed with someone else or catastrophizing in any way. I watched Coronation Street in bed which was frankly more dramatic than my thoughts and hope the casual sex she was having lived up to her expectations.

Spoiler alert: she’ll probably do it again so clearly it wasn’t a disaster but she didn’t have much to say. It sounded remarkably like book group in that respect. I have no issues with her or my Master fucking other people casually and the whole relationship being open in that respect.

But in seeing that happen I realised I have no interest in fucking anyone else myself unless actively involves my Master and Princess being there with me. It turns out for me casual sex involves me being emotionally closed and the openness I need in my relationship is developing that side of me that is open with feelings and love.

That’s the bit my slutty past never taught me when I was picking up sexual skills and good anecdotes and it’s something only my Master and Princess can show me. Turns out I’m soppy, sentimental and my version of romantic with the right people (and my prior lack of awareness was that I was dating dickheads and hanging around with people with personality disorders.)

I just hadn’t realised til now that with all those terms for non monogamy there was more than one way to be open in a relationship…

Monogamish

Spring Warmth

The absolute best time of year for your boiler to stop working is the Saturday afternoon of a four day weekend. I had to get naked at my Master and Princess’s over Easter for purely practical reasons to use their shower while I waited for my landlord to get back to work.

But it did offer up another opportunity to invite a boiler engineer into my house since we all know I love flirting with men who come to my door for work. My Master has me back in stretching training and he’s never a man to miss the chance to push my training further.

So while waiting for the engineer I was to train my cunt with the giant jiggle balls and my waist with the corset, both of which I’ve been neglecting a little bit recently. I love both but potentially wearing them for a time slot between 2pm and midnight was daunting.

The last time I wore the corset, I struggled a bit to get it done up and was panicking a little that I’d lost my hard won waist training milestones. It’s been hanging there taunting me while I’ve been working hard  with the waist trainer.

I brought it down to try it on over the dress I had picked out to make sure there was just slightly more hint of nipple piercings than there should be and was pleased to see that the reason I’d struggled to pull it tight enough was that the laces on one side had twisted and ruined the tension.

A few minutes untangling and untwisting them and a few minutes reminding myself how to pull the laces behind my back properly and the corset went back into place perfectly. I was tempted to keep going but my tits were quite perky enough with an inch to spare so I decided not to push myself in case I was wearing that corset until the clock struck twelve.

I was so pleased that after my worries the corset fitted so well that it didn’t occur to me that I had meant to take it off and put it back on to wear it under my dress. I’ve really missed wearing it and that comforting feeling of being held by it made me only concentrate on enjoying the movements within its structure. I love that feel of being shaped yet supported by the corset just like my submission to Sir.

I was so distracted by that and how wet it was making the panties I’d also been ordered to wear that next thing I knew the boiler engineer had arrived earlier than I’d expected and I had to answer the door with the corset fully on display. And I think it worked well.

Not only was the engineer even friendlier and flirtier this time (bearing in mind he practically invited to visit his parents’ house in Portugal before) but he resisted the temptation to laugh in my face when it turned out the boiler fault was because of my own incredible stupidity with my gas meter. He solved the issue easily but just ‘double checked’ the previous fault again to linger slightly.

I was half enjoying him staying with all the flirtation and flashes of exhibitionism that entailed being the slut for that that I am but I was also desperate for him to leave because Sir had ordered me to make myself come the second he left and I was more than ready for that moment.

I managed to reassure him that my carbon monoxide levels were perfectly safe and I wasn’t going to touch my gas meter again and he finally left. The second I heard my front door close as he let himself out I was leaning against the kitchen work top with my fingers down my panties and not stopping myself from touching my clit.

The corset held me up as I pressed my hand onto my cunt and made myself come hard and fast. It reminded me of when Sir uses the constriction of the corset to hold me up in place while he fucks me against the front door and the thought of that exhibitionism on top of my afternoon made me come very easily.

It was only after I’d texted my Master to thank him for the orgasm and show him my waist training progress in the corset I remembered how visible it had been to the engineer. Even Sir was impressed by that level of blatant sluttery putting it down to my inner instincts rather than accident.

Now all I have to do to impress him further is keep up my training and find a new home for the panties I was wearing when I came…

Spring Warmth

Pump It Up

Something I’ve only learned since starting my relationship with my Master and Princess that very often it’s the talking you do before and after sex where you learn the most and get the best ideas for next time. So when Princess mentioned having seen a pussy pump in some porn recently I filed the mention away in my kink brain.

Without telling her I had ready for my Master to use during the wax play scene recently but unsurprisingly we didn’t get round to it with everything else going on. So it remained a surprise for Princess until I couldn’t wait any longer and wanted to have my wicked way with her.

I told her to be naked and blindfolded on my bed when I got back from the bathroom so she was ready and waiting for me. I can’t tell if it was brattiness or obedience that had her on her knees waiting for her surprise, but I soon corrected that and had her on back with her legs apart instead.

I teased her by trailing my nails up and down her cunt and thighs and biting the marks I left. Making sure her whole body was sensitive and her cunt was getting wet, I distracted her with a slap to her cunt and then while she was squirming, I put the pump on and started to tighten it.

Her whole body managed to relax at the same time as standing to attention with the force of the suction. It was a masterclass in sexual body language and like the good little slut she is, she knew instantly what I was doing to her cunt guessing correctly it was a pump. Even when she begged me to stop because the pressure was so intense, I was still so proud I had to reward her.

I’ve never seen her cunt so swollen and her clit so begging to be played with. I slipped two fingers into her and I’ve rarely felt her wetter either. I paused just long enough to take a photo to let her be able to see her cunt later in its full swollen glory and then it took less than a minute of playing with her clit for her to come. I’ve certainly never felt her come so fast.

I played a little more with the pump using it to tease her nipples while using the Doxy on her clit this time and it produced the kind of orgasm that leaves someone broken afterwards. I was in love with this toy and keen to use it on myself to find out if I was missing out on being the one in charge for once.

Thinking back to using it on Princess made me horny as hell and I texted Sir asking permission to play with it on myself. He told me to tell him in detail how I’d used it in on Princess to see if I’d earned my orgasm with it. Clearly I had impressed him because he not only allowed me to play but told me to do to myself what I’d done to Princess.

I’ve spent a lot of happy hours blindfolded at Sir’s orders but I’m not sure I’ve ever blindfolded myself to masturbate and it made me even wetter than I was already. With a little bit of lube and the right the pump was extremely easy to use on myself and I could see why Princess had almost lifted off the bed.

The suction feels incredible like every nerve ending in your whole body, not just your cunt has been woken up. It’s like a combination of having your cunt held and licked at the same time with the delicious bite of discomfort of a sharp smack. I absolutely loved it and it took almost nothing to make me come afterwards.

My cunt was certainly plumped and swollen after the suction and the orgasm but not quite to Princess’s standards so when Sir told me to use it again, I was intrigued to see what would happen. This time I could take the full power for longer but my whole cunt felt like it was tingling with sensations like tiny firecrackers of arousal afterwards as I played with my clit straight into an excellent orgasm.

I was loving the effect the toy was having on me and my Master. All my favourite things combined with pressure, pleasure-pain and orders creating orgasms and I wanted to see how far I could push myself. Luckily so did Sir and he told me to use it a third time for him. Usually I’d be struggling a little bit to come so repeatedly from a toy rather than penetration but this toy was making it easy.

The third time I pulled the suction tight my cunt really went for it swelling right into it so my clit was exposed and the piercing pulled against it in the most incredible way. I wasn’t sure if I’d even manage to take the toy off before I came I felt so tender and turned on. In the end the toy pulled off my cunt breaking its own suction from pulling so hard and tight and I only needed to brush my fingers against my clit before I came.

Pussy pump on pierced clit

And that point I’m not sure I could have come again no matter how hard Sir ordered me to because my body and cunt were overloaded in the best possible way. My cunt was still swollen and throbbing every time I brushed against it hours later, waking me twice in the night and giving me incredibly vivid dreams.

I can’t wait to have Sir use the toy on me to push the pleasure-pain further and then have Princess’s tongue on my clit when it feels almost exposed with how turned on I am. And then when I can take no more of it, we just start pushing Princess that far too…

Pump It Up

How To Have Hot Wax Fun

Unsurprisingly for such a bunch of delightful perverts you all enjoyed the tales of wax play and several readers’ eyebrows raised in contemplation at the thought of trying it  for themselves. So I thought I’d give you my tips to get you started.

I’m by no means an expert having played with hot wax a grand total of twice but my greatest kink in life is actually details so you’ll probably find something useful here to get you going on some wax play.

I’ll assume you have consent for all this because Paddington Bear fucking stare if you even considered whipping out some surprise hot wax on anyone, so the most important thing here is the wax itself.

You can’t repurpose just any old candle you have lying round the house (and unlike my sex toys all my candles are actually battery operated). Scented candles are definitely not suitable for this because the fragrance makes them hotter and more likely to burn the skin so you can’t just decide to spice up that unwanted Yankee Candle you have sitting about. This guide on the different kinds of wax is quite helpful if mainly trying to sell kink friendly products at a mark up…

I enjoy bargains almost as much as I enjoy orgasms so I always go hunting for ways to be kinky on the cheap and this time Ebay came up trumps with a 1 kilo bag of soy wax flakes for £7.99 which can be heated easily in a slow cooker (who said they were all brown stew and batch cooking for the middle aged huh?)

You’ll also need a thermometer like this you can leave in the wax while playing and a lidded plastic pudding basin. Plug your slow cooker close to where you want to play making sure it can’t tip over and is easy to lift. Put the wax flakes into the pudding basin, snap the lid on tight so steam and water from the slow cooker can’t get into the wax and the set into the slow cooker crock.

Fill the crock about half way with boiling water and set the slow cooker on high for 2 hours. My wax had melted to a bubbling and slightly too hot 95 degrees centigrade by then. The ideal temperature for play is about 55C and the wax dropped about 5 degrees every 10 minutes the slow cooker was off and the lid was off the basin.

So heating the wax higher and hotter works if you want to set the scene up and have a little time before you get stuck in. If you enjoyed delayed gratification use the keep warm function on your slow cooker once you’ve taken your lids off. This should keep the wax liquid enough to spoon, drizzle, flick, paint or drip all night.

We played with the wax straight onto my carpet because my landlord is replacing my old one. And it seemed amusing to send it out in style so the carpet fitters get a little surprise when they come to lay the new one. As you probably don’t want to fuck your floor as much as you’re hoping to be from all this kink, the best idea is to buy a cheap fabric shower curtain you can throw away afterwards.

This also comes in handy when you stand up after the wax play and your artfully draped and dripped wax cracks and peels off. If you stand on the shower curtain while someone gives you a good grope or applies ice to your wax to help it off in as sexy a way as it went on, the shower curtain stops your aftercare involving the hoover.

You’ll find the wax also comes off more easily if you apply oil to your skin before you play. Avoid either baby oil or Bio Oil or anything else mineral oil based as this is petroleum based and not a good mix with heat of any kind from a safety point of view. I’d also avoid coconut oil or anything solid at room temperature as it can burn the skin if heated too high.

Something like sweet almond oil is perfect and inexpensive. If you have body hair oil is essential for wax removal. If you are clean shaven (or using waxing for hair removal) leave 24 hours between this and applying the wax so as not to irritate your skin. Don’t apply anything fragranced like body moisturiser that might react with your skin and the wax either and be cautious about using hot wax on open wounds or skin conditions.

You want to be able to focus fully on the wax so make sure you set up your scene well in advance. You should never leave your sub tied up and alone near a bowl of hot wax or some candles while you nip to get a sex toy you forgot. So channel your slutty Boy Scout and be prepared here. Lay out anything you might want to play with. I was quite keen to try beating the wax off with a crop or paddle and this was a chance to make my kitchen implements pervertable.

If you are using rope make sure it can’t knock anything over or catch fire and have some paramedic scissors to hand  to cut the ropes quickly if needs be. Wax play is intense and a sub might need to safeword out immediately not wait while you try to untie that knot you really did learn in the Scouts. Also on a practical level, when wax gets into the knots, they are a bugger to untie and since you won’t get the wax out of the rope to reuse it, take the short cut if needed.

Respect the fact you are playing with high temperatures here and have a first aid kit close to hand. I soaked three or four cotton tea towels in cold water and froze them in a ziploc bag  in case of burns leaving it close by in case of emergency. I also had a bucket of ice handy both for injuries and general kinkery with cold ice and hot wax on nipple piercings.

It’s also useful to have a large tea tray you can set the tools you play with on you onto so you can clear up easily and not get wax on the Billy bookcase or coffee table while you play. Have some towels and tissue handy too. You don’t want anyone distracted by basic housekeeping when they could be gently tormenting you with temperature play.

Expect to spend a while in the shower afterwards (and have an interesting time cleaning out the plug hole too) but you will have the softest smoothest skin possible when you do. Paraffin wax is often used as moisturising treatment for hands and feet in beauty salons and it turns out soy wax has similar properties.

I did have some challenges getting the wax off my barbell piercings. It’s not very sexy but it’s a good idea to check none of the wax has got into any piercings so if you can remove them afterwards to clean and put them back in.

I heard dire warnings beforehand about applying hot wax to genitals but my Master definitely ended up dripping it down my vulva and some got inside my labia and round my clit. I didn’t have any ill effects but I’d still advise against applying hot wax directly to your clit or it actually getting into your cunt itself.

I’m by no means masochistic and often find pain and kink a challenge but the soy wax was very much in the camp of enjoyable pain for me. Beeswax stung more in a jarring way and I wasn’t as keen on it. If you are more into the kink of actual pain, use suitable taper candles and play with the height you drop the wax from to get your fix or you might find wax play surprisingly tame on the pain scale.

Writing this piece reminded me of a long forgotten but apparently extremely formative teenage memory of sneaking a hidden copy of a VHS my brother had of Madonna’s 1993 film Body of Evidence and watching and repeatedly rewinding the scene where she pours hot wax on Willem Dafoe’s chest. My first brush with BDSM around the age of 14 was certainly memorable.

Hopefully this piece gives you the chance to unleash your inner wax slut sooner than that…

How To Have Hot Wax Fun