I am slightly preoccupied with orgasms at the moment. One of the cruellest tricks my body plays when I’m having a relapse is that it can’t cope with exertion without tipping me into pain and fatigue and having to curl up in bed waiting for the day to be over.

Sometimes this is the exertion of using my brain like working all day. But mainly it’s physical exertion such as exercise or anything else that raises my heart rate past a certain point. Which infuriatingly makes orgasms as potentially risky to my health as running for the bus.

So I’m rationing orgasms at the moment and it’s mainly proving that if you deny yourself something it’s all you can think about it. I’ve been dreaming about them but managing to wake myself up before I actually have an orgasm in my sleep. I’ve been picturing giving Princess orgasms while we were sitting on the sofa chatting yesterday. I’ve had to hide my Doxy under my bed to stop it from giving me ideas.

It’s incredibly distracting so to try and make a virtue of this preoccupation I’ve been revisiting favourite or memorable orgasms I’ve had. Somewhat unusually I can’t remember my first orgasm either by myself or with someone else but over the last few years plenty of orgasms have stood out for me.

When I first started fucking my Master I was used to sex with men that involved them having their orgasm first and then giving me an orgasm almost as an afterthought like well brought up people say ‘thank you for having me’ automatically after being invited somewhere even if they don’t mean it. These orgasms were on a tit for tat basis of one for you, one for me like the world would end if someone had more pleasure than another.

This is partly testament to my taste in men (which isn’t something I’d write home about) but also the way we talk about sex as something done to women rather than with women and framed as what men expect rather than what women need so that women’s orgasms and pleasure are seen as incidental to how you can ‘drive hime wild’ or ‘keep your man.’ Add in our goal oriented culture with everything being reduced to tick boxes and to do lists and orgasms become some kind of destination instead of the journey.

My Master isn’t like that at all and it confused me so much the first time we fucked that I actually fought against it until I was sure he was really enjoying concentrating on my pleasure and giving me orgasms not stacking up some kind of sexual debt I had to pay off in return.

Since then I’ve become slightly spoilt by how many orgasms he (and Princess) has given me and also extremely appreciative that they both encourage me to be greedy for them. It’s been notable how my orgasms have physically changed in that time too. Not only have they grown in intensity, but I’m more aware of the different ways I can orgasm now.

I used to have concentrate incredibly hard to be able to come like if I didn’t keep my eye on the prize the whole way, it would elude me and that orgasm would feel like a full stop to events. Now my orgasms in person come more easily and they feel like commas linking each action together so that I can come multiple times and still want more.

Different actions and sensations lead to different kinds of orgasms too. The feeling of an orgasm when my Master uses his whole fist in my cunt is like the giddy abandon of when you’d twirl round and round until dizzy as a child before letting go and feeling you could fly for a second before immediately wanting to do it again.

And when Princess gets me up on my knees and strokes either side of my clit with two fingers and makes me squirt all over the bed my orgasm is in two stages. The first moment of cold liquid squirting from my cunt making way for the warm floaty feeling of pleasure rushing up from my toes to my mind.

Putting the Doxy deep inside my cunt makes me ejaculate almost the same way as a man so that my orgasm sneaks up on me and I lose control of my senses and my cunt momentarily glad to see the evidence that I’m still with the world. These orgasms are the kind that tend to tip my body over its threshold and mainly occur when I’m on my own or my Master is pushing me to breaking point.

Something about another person there seems to keep me grounded and my body behaving so now I’m wondering if two people in the form of a threesome would be practically medicinal…?



To The Limits

My Master has been a bit preoccupied recently with life things and stupidly I thought that meant he wouldn’t have been plotting my submission at the same time. But last night proved me wrong. He certainly had ideas in mind to push my to my limits.

He’d had me start the day playing with the John Holmes toy as I researched slutty blonde hairstyles and lesbian threesome videos for Princess, only allowing me to come for him with the toy and four fingers inside my cunt at the same time.

It definitely warmed up nicely for an afternoon playing with Princess and he was keen to hear if I’d been giving her orders. I knew that describing it would be going straight to his cock and just the thought of him stroking it had me wet instantly.

So when he told me to slip the head of my Doxy inside my cunt, it took very little effort. Just a moment’s hesitation as my cunt stretched out to take the widest point and the whole head slid in with ease so I could fuck myself with it like a cock.

Doxy inside my stretched cunt

It felt incredible simply inside me and it genuinely took my breath away with enjoyment when I turned it on. The first vibrations caused my cunt to tighten round it until I slipped it out again slightly and I felt my cunt loosen.

My Master knows my cunt so well that just as I felt my cunt ready to open up he ordered me to slip my hand around the edge of the Doxy and see how many fingers I could take along the huge head of the toy.

Doxy two

Being greedy I slipped two fingers inside and the combination of fingers, vibrations and stretching immediately made me squirt. It was one of the most intense sexual feelings I’ve ever had without an orgasm and of course my Master would never leave it at that.

He told me to slide three fingers inside and turn the toy up until I came and not to even dare think about turning the toy down no matter how overwhelmed I felt. And it was overwhelming. My cunt was absolutely throbbing with the vibrations of the toy and being stretched but strangely I couldn’t quite come.

Doxy in my cunt with three fingers

It took me a moment or two to work out how to fuck the head of the Doxy back and forward with my fingers curled inside and my thumb pressing on my incredibly swollen clit and the whole sensation came together into the loudest orgasm I’ve ever had as I squirted hard a second time.

It was so intense that I actually felt slightly winded in that pleasurable way you get when you’ve laughed too hard and I could hardly bring myself to turn the Doxy off because the aftershocks of the orgasm were so deep that each rumble of the toy kept me going.

I genuinely thought I’d pushed my body as far as I can go and was a little worried I’d pay for it next day* which would have been annoying but well worth it. But I also knew my cunt could take more and would ask for more from my Master next time we played…


*my illness can be triggered by exertion and occasionally orgasms set me off. On this occasion I was absolutely fine and filled with horny memories next day instead.

To The Limits

New Discoveries

I had a moment or two of guilt about disobeying my Master’s orders about wearing panties when I went to visit Princess the other night but her reaction when she found that I’d left them as a souvenir of our fucking distracted me almost immediately.

I’d been lying in bed half asleep trying to get cool on a very warm evening when she immediately got hot again when she discovered them and ordered me to strip off before pressing herself against me naked.

My cunt certainly woke right up as she ran her hand over it and played with my clit making me squirm as she alternated between stroking and licking it until I came with her on top of me.

If I was expecting her to roll over and go to sleep I was pleasantly surprised when she pushed me onto my side with my knees up and cunt exposed and herself in behind me and produced the little pink G spot toy we both love so much and pushed it inside so incredibly easily.

The toy was pressed up incredibly deeply up against my G spot as she very slowly and steadily started to fuck me with it while gently stroking my clit. The sensation was so strong I could feel my cunt tensing and my mind only able to concentrate on how pleasurable it was rather than the details of what she was doing.

The next thing I knew was that I was coming so hard I could feel my cunt trying to push the toy out against her hand and the feeling of squirting repeatedly as the toy pushed right against my G spot perfectly.

I had hardly got my breath back when Princess left the toy deep in my cunt and started stroking and teasing my clit again as she played with my piercing in exactly the way that made my almost swollen clit feel like I could hardly bear the intensity. Another orgasm was hardly unexpected in those circumstances but to squirt so hard against her hand again was quite the surprise for both of us.

I wanted to know just how horny all Princess’s efforts had made her and my hand went straight to her cunt, brushing the palm of my hand against how wet she was and pressing my fingers against her clit until she came wriggling with surprise under me.

She looked so good with her back arched, hips thrust up and her tits right there that I couldn’t resist curling my hand round so that my fingers slipped inside her and my mouth went down onto her nipple which made her buck against me so that I could fuck her with my hand with ease.

I didn’t lift my mouth at all, pulling and licking and sucking at her nipple as it stiffened against my tongue and her cunt pulled against my hand as I fucked her harder and harder. She was was writhing against me and pulling me tighter so my hand went deeper and deeper into her cunt as she started biting my neck and gasping.

Her cunt was clenching round my fingers so hard that she was fucking my hand without me having to move it again more than simply hooking my fingers round inside her so I could concentrate even more on playing with her tits.

I knew she was close to coming but I wasn’t expecting the motion of her whole body lifting off the bed like it did and her making noises I’ve never heard from her before as she did as her cunt actually sucked my fingers deeper inside the orgasm was so strong.

Once she’d stopped gasping she told me that she’d felt the orgasm start in her breasts before travelling down into her cunt so she’d felt it in her whole body rather than just between her legs. I’d heard of orgasms like that but always thought they were an urban myth until now.

I’m hoping the fact both Princess and I ended up with versions of orgasms we’d never had before makes my Master more accommodating about my disobedience in the first place…

New Discoveries


Shortly after I started sleeping with Princess, my Master ordered her to look the part of a slutty wife who fucks other women with her husband. He sent her to the hairdresser to get the blondest highlights she could get and made me so with her to make sure it wasn’t too tasteful and innocent looking.

That particular evening finished back at my house with Princess unaware my Master was here and filming her licking my cunt on the sofa and then the three of us making sure her beautifully blow dried hair was definitely bed head by the end.

She hasn’t had her highlights done since sadly but yesterday my Master ordered her to and she amused herself during the hours it took deciding what she could do with my cunt later when we met up.

Her hair looked fantastic. Very very blonde in the way that make her look even more innocent in polite company and twice as slutty in my company. I approved heartily and wasn’t surprised that my Master wanted a photo of her hair while she was licking my cunt.

Normally Princess loves to get face first into my cunt at any opportunity but yesterday she decided to tease me by using her hands first. And I was so horny for her. It’s been a while since we had the chance to play properly and it went straight to my cunt.

I’d already lost count of the orgasms she’d given me playing with my clit as we lay on my sofa when she started again doing something with her fingers either side of my piercing that felt incredible and just built and built into more and more pleasure.

And then completely and utterly unexpectedly whatever she was doing to my ridiculously turned on clit made me squirt so hard both of us could actually hear the sound of it happening.

I wanted to say something but I couldn’t do anything for the next few minutes except have an orgasm so intense I wasn’t sure if I was in my own body or not while it was happening. When I could put myself back together again afterwards Princess was shocked to see just how much I’d squirted on the sofa.

Didn’t stop her pushing me back on the patch again while she licked my cunt to another orgasm to make sure my Master got his photograph of her hair and I lost all ability to think straight again. I like this new blonder version of Princess a lot…


Train Me


My Master and Princess were on a train last night and clearly in need of some entertainment to make the journey go quicker. And what better way than to use me to provide it?

I was lying in bed when my Master texted to say Princess was incredibly horny and he wanted to make her more so. Therefore I was to get on my knees and start fucking myself with the pink G spot toy while describing how it felt to both of them.

I love that toy. Small but effective in every way, it really does hit my G spot in the exact place to make me come with ease and I thoroughly enjoyed fucking myself slowly and steadily with it as my cunt got wetter and I was more turned on by sending them photos and videos on the train.

The toy got me right to the edge pressing in the right places and all I needed to do for the first orgasm I was ordered to have was brush gently against my clit piercing with my thumb and I went into an excellent and almost easy orgasm.

Princess asked my Master if I could try the toy again with the Doxy pressed against my clit as she knows how kneeling up always makes my clit swell and I come harder. He was clearly in a good mood because he ordered me to do just that as long as I put a small plug in my ass too.

I had a little issue managing the larger head on the Doxy with the smaller than I’m used to toy so when I was close to coming I had to switch from my knees to lying on my back. I’m very glad I did because I came so hard that I squirted all over the bed and ejaculated everywhere as well with the glass plug slipping straight out again.


I think I’d have collapsed and never got up if I’d been on my knees. As it was I had to ask for breathing space before my Master ordered me to ride the John Holmes toy for ten minutes to show how changed my cunt is.

He allowed me to lie down as long as I told Princess all the things I planned to do to her over the next few months. I told her there would be more photo shoots and that I would be fucking her more with the strap on and as I texted imagining her squirming on the train and my Master approving of my ideas, I couldn’t wait to slip the other toy into me again.

I sent my Master a photo of how easily the John Holmes slipped into my soaking wet come covered cunt and he admired how that huge cock is now easier for me than the little pink toy was when he first fucked me with it nearly two years ago.

I rode it for ten minutes allowing it slip in deeper and then pull back so I could get that feeling of a cock sliding inside you again and again and then my Master allowed me to come again with the Doxy on my clit and I was broken.

It took me a good hour my legs to stop shaking knowing my Master only stopped giving me more orders to come so he could do them in person tonight…

Train Me

Fist Practice

Princess is out of town for a while and I’m at a loose end as what to do with myself (apart from practice stretching for my Master of course and hope for more orders from him generally.)

Before she left, we spent the afternoon fisting each other to make sure she wouldn’t lose her gape while she’s away. It was particularly satisfying slipping my fist into her cunt with ease and thinking how natural it felt compared to how nerve wracking I found it when I first started fucking her.


I’m not sure I’ll ever forget how incredible and overwhelming it felt when my Master taught me how to fist her the first time, guiding my hand and my nerves with his orders until she came. It was one of the most intimate experiences I’ve ever had with anyone and all the more for it being with two people simultaneously.

It was interesting to compare just how more practised I feel at fisting now after a few months. I’m enjoying it more the more I do it as I am no longer worrying about doing it ‘right’ and simply concentrating on enjoying it and making sure Princess does too.

She seemed to be thinking along the same lines as she did something with the knuckles of her fist while it was inside me that I don’t think I’ve felt her do before. It made me come intensely and also squirt copiously all over the bed which is the first time anyone else has ever made me do that.


I couldn’t stop thinking about how much I enjoy being the one fisted (either by her or my Master) and being the one doing the fisting in equal measure after she left and I was startled to see in my diary that it was exactly a year since I’d taken my Master’s fist for the first time.

Actually I’d managed to take his fist three times in one evening as once I managed it I never wanted to stop. I’d almost given up being able to take his fist when a few weeks earlier I just hadn’t been able to get past his knuckles and actually ended up bruised from trying.

But on this evening, convinced it wouldn’t happen now, he calmly guided my hand down between my legs and I grasped his wrist just as he clenched his fist and I realised I most definitely had managed to take it almost without noticing.

I can’t believe how much a part of my life fisting has become in that year and how much more I can still keep trying…


Fist Practice


changing room

So I needed to find somewhere I could wear a wig and fist myself to an orgasm three times in a row on a Saturday afternoon in London. I only had one place in mind. I needed to see what the deal with the lingerie department in Selfridges is still like.

I was ready with my fist toy in my bag and the ginger from last week’s figging and  wandered round looking for something sheer and slutty to try on, banking on the fact those changing rooms always had deep carpeting and heavy lockable doors to account for the fact women got their nipples out on the other side of them.

I went round and round that department looking for something to suit my needs. I wanted to be wearing something overtly sexual for this one and everything was functional. Even Agent Provocateur seemed tame. I worried that I wasn’t going to be able to impress my Master again.

Then I stumbled across a rack of barely there lingerie. Small, sheer, leopard print. no mistake why you’d wear it underwear. I took eight items into the changing room and lined them up.

And ignored them completely. I was already wearing a red velvet harness bra under my dress and all I wanted to do was strip off and get down on my hands and knees on that plush cream carpet as my Master instructed.

I had the black glass plug in my ass and I needed the ginger as well with the fist toy slipping in and out of my cunt til I came three times as I’d been told. I was down with my ass in the mirror trying to feed the ginger into my ass in no time.

I couldn’t get the base of the glass toy and the carved base of the ginger to share nicely. But I knew my Master wanted me choking back exclamations as my ass throbbed and my cunt clenched round the fist toy so I went with the ginger.

And then I leaned down and slipped the fist toy inside as I listened to the noise of the fitting rooms going on outside the door. I fucked myself to the first orgasm riding the toy, seeing my ass stuffed full of ginger in the mirror over my shoulder as my ass burned and my cunt watered.

The second orgasm came quickly after the first with the ginger making me want to howl to cool my ass down while flat on my back with my cunt obvious in the mirror as I fucked myself hard, writhing because of what was in my ass.

The third orgasm was back up on my knees, heels up in the air, feet ground into that carpet thinking how long I was taking even to try on eight bras. The second I felt the orgasm building, I pulled the fist out and squirted all over the floor.

It seemed like the biggest wet patch I’d left on anything as I got dressed again, legs shaking and my head pounding from the feeling of it all. I slipped the glass toy back in my ass and the fist and the ginger in my handbag and left the bras hanging where they’d been the whole time, apologising to the attendant that I must have spilt some water and walked out past everyone waiting.


My legs may have been weak, but I very much doubt anyone other than my Master, who I was sending the photos to as I left would have guessed what I’d been doing in there…