Texture

Is there anything more disappointing than a dodgy dildo? I haven’t had the chance to play with the monster my Master bought me for my birthday because there’s a problem with the texture of it. I’m not sure if it’s a fault with the toy itself or the way it’s been stored in the packaging before being sent out.

But it’s not safe to be near my cunt right now sadly so to make it up to me (especially after the awkwardness of taking a two foot long dildo to the Post Office) my Master set me a little challenge. I was to take three toys and compare the textures of them in my cunt before coming round each of them.

It wasn’t about length or girth this time per se but about touch and texture instead so I used it as an excuse to delve deep into my toy box and compare and contrast to make my choices. Although it says a lot that my first stop was actually the fridge for my beloved glass dildo chilled to perfection under the emergency bar of chocolate to start me off.

I love the feel of that glass toy. One side is dimpled and the other is swirled and curled and the toy works best with extremes of temperature. I slid the cool dimpled end inside me and enjoyed the fact that glass is by it’s very nature incredibly firm and inflexible. It’s like the hardest cock possible and that over the top-ness makes it feel so much a like a toy all for the pleasure of playing with.

The unyielding texture of the toy actually works with your cunt more than you’d expect. The cool feel allows the heat of my cunt to transfer to it and the rigidity allows the soft wetness to contrast with it so the toy slides in and out gracefully and gloriously as I fuck myself deeply and steadily with it. The little clink as it slips in as far as possible and skims across the metallic piercing in my swollen clit always pushes me over the edge into an orgasm.

In contrast my next toy was a new experience for me. A little purple jelly vibrator designed to work like a rabbit with clit stimulation, it came free with a Lovehoney order and I’ve never used it on me. Princess responded well to it but it was unchartered territory for my current cunt.

My first ever sex toy was a gift from a friend in that stereotypical pink glittery jelly and I never warmed to it abandoning it quite quickly to go back to using my hand. This was the first time I’d revisited the texture and I suspect it’ll be the last. There’s something about the sticky squishiness of jelly toys that causes my cunt to shrink away from them and considering how tiny this toy is by my standards that’s a very bad thing.

It did not slip inside me anywhere as easily as the glass toy. No glide, more stopping and starting like trying to learn to use the clutch pedal on your first driving lesson than getting fucked. The texture seemed to suck the moisture from my cunt with the wrong kind of friction for fun.

Adding the vibrations didn’t help much. I’m used to the jumbo jet style roar and reverberation of the Doxy and this was more like someone sneezing on my clit instead. Like many starter style sex toys, it has a lot of functions and less impact cycling through all kinds of whispers of vibration that never quite go anywhere. Especially when half the settings seem to involve that on-off buzz pattern that builds to pleasure before dying away in frustration.

I haven’t worked that hard for an orgasm in years with the soft little toy feeling limp and damp inside and against me definitely not filling me up or fulfilling the promise of vibrations. I haven’t felt anything that half hearted near my cunt since I stopped fucking straight men and my orgasm was more like a defiant fuck you to the clammy fumbling toy than actual pleasure.

I was very pleased I’d kept my eternal favourite pink G spot toy from Lovehoney for the finale. Bought as a  substitute for the much more expensive Jopen Comet G spot toy I couldn’t justify spending so much money on, this toy has given me more pleasure than I ever imagined. Made of smooth sleek silicone, I’ve used it in my ass and my cunt and loved it in both.

It has the slight tackiness of silicone that goes with lubrication like salt goes with pepper to compliment and enhance each other and this toy just feels like it comes home in my cunt. Not as rigid as the glass and not as languid as the jelly toy, it feels more like the hardness of an actual cock and my cunt is definitely on home turf with that feel.

Silicone doesn’t seem to absorb heat the same way but it loves lube making it slick and sleek inside you to make sure the toy really builds up good friction against the slightly raised swollen spongy feel of my G spot when I’m really turned on. It butts against it but slips just enough to give a twisting motion that always makes me come so hard I feel like I might squirt as well. And last night was no difference.

I lay back after my third consecutive orgasm and tried to decide which toy was my favourite. I love that clean cool feel of glass and never tire of playing with it but the pink toy just works for me getting me turned on and fucked to orgasm every single time with the least effort. And it’s not just good with myself, both my Master and Princess can use it on me to incredible results too.

I think I might be a silicone slut but Sir has set me another three toys to play with tonight too so who knows…?

 

Texture

A Small Favour

I don’t ask for much (since I’m already rather lucky with two hot partners to have orgasms with) but occasionally I like to ask a favour from people. I enjoy writing the blog here and interacting with readers but I find the sex blogging world a bit intimidating.

There’s a lot of who you know that makes me feel a bit like there’s a gang I’m not invited to join. Some of this is because some people who able to be less anonymous online and can go to conventions, meet ups etc to network and chat in person.

But because it’s my cunt featuring prominently here rather than my charming personality I find the idea of putting myself out there to interact with other sex bloggers a bit tricky. There seems to be a dividing line of sex bloggers who review toys and write erotica and post naked but not necessarily pornographic photos and those whose online presence is more about porn or sex work which is more overt.

These camps don’t seem to overlap and I’m not entirely sure which I belong to so I’ve never ventured into either preferring to read blogs that appeal to me and spend my spare time finding erotica on sites like Literotica that I enjoy.

But I really enjoyed coming across new Tumblrs and blogs when I did the guest post for Girl on the Net so I want to use that to keep finding new filth online so I’m looking forward to the Molly’s Daily Kiss Top 100 Sex Blogs as a way to find people all in one place. And I’m hoping that one of you lovely people might nominate this blog to join them?

I’m sure you’ll all reap the rewards if I have to up my game and post more often to prove my place….

A Small Favour

Posed

My cunt still isn’t quite back to full functioning so my horniness has had to be in my head recently which has given me lots of time to think of sexual scenarios I think I’d enjoy participating in.

I keep coming back to the idea of blindfolding Princess to rein in her brattiness so I can take control of her more. But the problem is that if she saw a blindfold coming she’d wriggle and try to brat her way out of behaving.

I’d have to surprise her with a hidden blindfold. The logical place to stash it is in what I’m wearing so it’s close to my cunt. Then when I put it round her face she can breathe in how wet the idea of this is making me.

What I can’t decide is if I want to tell her to kneel on the bed or the floor while I put the blindfold on her. If she’s on the floor, I can lead her to the bed trusting me in the process which gets me ridiculously wet when my Master does it to me. But if she’s on the bed already I can simply push her down and start teasing her.

Flat on her back I can pull her legs open to make sure she feels exposed and watched, unable to see what I’m doing. So she doesn’t know whether I’m about to bite her, lick her, pinch her or flog her. Or maybe all of them? The best bit for me is that I don’t need to decide just yet.

But once I’ve got her wet and squirming and probably likely to start begging, I’m definitely going to really tease her with her new Doxy. Not straight on her clit, nor even her cunt but buzzing it along her thighs and over her nipples until she’s gasping and then onto her still clothed but soaking cunt.

And just as she’s arching her back to push her cunt harder against the Doxy aching to let it make her come, I’m going to lift it away and place it on my cunt instead. So she can still hear the vibrations of the toy but doesn’t know where they’ve gone. I can just see her wanting to pull her blindfold off to find out but knowing that’s brattiness gone too far.

Instead I’ll tease her with the sound of the toy rumbling against my clit piercing and maybe even make a tiny bit of noise myself to show her how much I’m enjoying masturbating while watching her blindfolded on the bed with her legs wide open for me.

I’m just deciding whether to inch my body forward on the bed so that it means the Doxy presses against both our cunts or not when my Master comes into the room to surprise me as much as I did Princess with the blindfold.

I like the idea of him also blindfolding me and taking the Doxy out my hand so I can’t tell whether he’s using the new one on her and the old one on me at this point or pushing my body towards hers so that we have both Doxies vibrating at once against us as he holds me down and she keeps her legs open.

Maybe he’d be so enjoying seeing her helpless and open like that he’d pull her panties off and put her into the spreader bar to make sure she stays that way. Perfect for pushing my face into her cunt to lick it while he fucks me with my upper body pushing against the bar as it rattles and moves so Princess has to guess and picture and fantasise about what he’s doing to me.

I like to think he’d take pity on her and pull the blindfold off just in time to let her see him come into me. He’s generous that way…

 

Posed

Self Love

When Princess had things to celebrate this week and Sir wanted to mark the occasion with a little gift there was only one thing it could be. A beautiful glossy die cast Doxy all to herself. No more begging and borrowing mine as reward for good behaviour but her very own toy any time she wants.

She almost succumbed to the temptation to use it then and there before dinner but she delayed the gratification which impressed my Master (and me) no end. It does mean we get to try my Master’s idea of blindfolding her and seeing if she can tell the difference between my Doxy and the die cast version to prove her wand slut credentials once and for all.

But it also made think how different Princess and I are when it comes to masturbation. She loves it as much as fucking, treating it variously as pure enjoyment, self care and foreplay on a regular basis to the point I can almost always guess when she might be masturbating when she’s alone (although she usually surprises me with the number of times she manages to make herself come.)

I, on the other hand, very rarely masturbate especially for myself. I do enjoy masturbation when it is part of my training and submission to my Master or to prepare me for Princess. But I honestly can’t remember the last time I masturbated on my own terms. This is isn’t just because I’m so obedient to Sir’s orders but because it’s never really been my thing.

Before I started actually fucking I did masturbate to distract me from incredibly ridiculously horny all the time I felt as a teenager. I’d probably have done a lot better in my maths GCSE if I hadn’t spent as much time playing with myself when I should have been revising but as soon as I discovered cock in real life masturbation very much fell out of fashion in my world.

Given the choice between making myself come or finding a cock that could, I always picked the cock even if it meant getting dressed, going out and listening to a lot of small talk along the way. Maybe it was laziness or the lack of sex toys in my life at the time but I never looked forward to masturbation as an event in itself.

Even now it seems like second or third best to me and I can’t imagine just masturbating because I’ve got twenty minutes spare or need to get to sleep or had a stressful day. Instead of switching my brain off to concentrate on myself like that, it seems to send me more into myself in an unhelpful way and I find it surprisingly difficult to let go into an orgasm.

Focusing on someone else however relaxes my mind and my cunt completely and makes masturbation into something else entirely. Kind of a combination of enjoyment, performance and pleasure that really turns me on because it gives the other person the opportunity to masturbate too.

There’s something utterly glorious about that thought that makes my stomach pinch in pleasure and my cunt stretch open in anticipation. It’s my kind of audience and knowing I’ve got the feedback of turning someone else switches my brain off and turns me on like nothing else.

Maybe I just need to start asking my Master for permission to play more often and see if I can time it to when Princess is using her new Doxy since that won’t be as infrequent as I am….

Self Love

Meet Me

I met my Master at the tail end of a gruelling year in many ways from a bad break up with an ill advised boyfriend, family issues and two close friends almost dying. Plus for added cliche I had had a wobble about why I wasn’t married and having babies in my mid thirties as that seems to be last acceptable point at which to be single and childless without being seen as desperate or having missed your chance somehow.

In lieu of finding anyone who agreed with my seemingly outlandish idea that relationships didn’t require marriage, babies or mortgages to validate how serious they were I was having a clandestine affair with a married man I knew through work. Being someone’s mistress seemed like the best compromise between not settling down in the suburbs and my temptation to never date again out of sheer bloody mindedness.

In the middle of this I went to a friend’s wedding and met my Master. I don’t remember how we were actually introduced out of all the people there when I knew no one except the bride and he wasn’t actually meant to be there having only stepped in a plus one to help out a friend.

This slight lapse means that my first impression of my Master was thinking he’d be absolutely filthy and that I’d very very much like to fuck him. My second impression took months to actually work out but right from the start he calmed me down. My usual cunt first think second self would have pursued a quick fuck with him and probably still sat down in time for dinner never to see him again.

Instead he got me to behave immediately and actually consider for once that fucking and running wasn’t a good idea (especially since I’d already fucked the married man earlier that day.) Instead we flirted all evening and by text for several months, meeting once more for a drink but nothing more.

I couldn’t read the situation as it was unlike anything else I was used to. It was like he was setting a pace and instead of being bored by a lack of fucking I was enjoying the chase. It was a full three months before things progressed from potential pleasantries into perverted fun.

In the space of about twenty minutes texting one evening just before Christmas we discussed kink and I had my hand down my knickers for him greedy for the pay off of all those months of waiting.

But it wasn’t quite as simple as it sounds. My cunt loved the idea of being told what to do but my heart and mind wasn’t so sure about being controlled. I was in the process of stepping away from people who felt entitled to control my life and I was cynical about walking towards someone saying they wanted me to obey them from the outset.

I don’t know if my Master sensed just how skittish I was about trusting anyone at this stage in my life or if he just assumed that I was being cautious about committing to kink. But he went very carefully introducing just enough moderation to each filthy text based task to make sure I had to obey each stage to get my rewards from him without barking orders at me that would make me bolt.

He offered me the full D/s relationship up front or a fling if I preferred and unable to trust my own judgement after a lifetime of bad judgements with men I opted for the latter not realising he was training me from the very outset.

The first time we fucked he left work early after I gave him my address and left my front door open so a man I’d met twice could let himself into my house and find me waiting for him with my fingers in my cunt. In that moment he proved to me that he would not misuse the trust I was putting in him.

For the first time I understood that introducing a power dynamic to a relationship didn’t mean only one person had power but that it was shared. That you can’t have dominance without willing and active submission and anything else is an abuse. I had always been led to believe that to want to submit was somehow weakness on my part and an excuse to misbehave on other people’s but here was a man who valued that submission.

It was incredibly hot. I don’t think I’d ever had as many orgasms as in that first six months that my Master was training me. But I also found it incredibly challenging. Considering how naturally it came to me to submit, it was an active effort to keep trusting and believe that the developing relationship was genuine.

The hardest part for me was that my Master never gave me any reason to doubt or distrust him and so I knew all that fear and hesitation was coming entirely from me and my baggage and that the only way for me to get past it was to outrun it. If I’d discussed it with my Master I knew I’d just be bringing a different edition of the same shit with me in my head.

Instead I kept going to see my therapist and concentrating on being so present in my submission I didn’t have room to carry anything else with me in my head that distracted from it. I didn’t imagine where the relationship was going or what it meant for the future (possibly a bit too much so I didn’t quite realise what the offer of the collar really meant from him at the time.)

I was just sure there would be a moment when the submission and my ability to trust would feel equally easy and create an equilibrium and I’d know that that shit was in the past rather than trying to muscle in on the present all the time.

And I was right. That moment was actually the first time my Master introduced Princess and I in our first threesome when I went from thinking ‘what if?’ as if looking back about everything he instructed me to do and started thinking ‘why not?’ as if looking forward. That  moment I began to trust myself as much as I trusted him.

Being my usual slightly slow self it took me a while to see the emotional significance of the particular moment but now makes perfect sense. I can’t imagine a relationship with my Master without Princess and vice versa but at the time I simply couldn’t believe how different my life was in the space of a year with my Master being so patient with me.

Turns out you can do a lot when you trust the right person to make decisions for you….

Meet Me

Oh Her Knees

Princess loved getting her nails painted last week and not just because I kept her from any bratty fidgeting by licking her cunt til she came. She definitely liked having perfectly painted nails to catch her eye during the week and remind her of my tongue each time.

So I wasn’t that surprised she asked me to paint her nails again this weekend. I took the opportunity to take charge and choose a beautiful glossy red polish that just screams slutty and sexy.

She sat so nicely with her hands out on the table making sure she followed her orders with each finger and thumb that I couldn’t help but reward her again with an orgasm while her nails dried. Such a good girl keeping her hands clear while fucking my face with her greedy cunt and then standing up when told so I could dress her again.

I wasn’t going to but to add temptation to the whole thing, I added a top coat to make Princess’s nails look particularly perfect and keep her still for longer. I sat back down on the sofa and sneakily cheekily flashed my cunt at her knowing she’d struggle to resist.

Lying back I watched as she knelt down in front of me holding her hands very carefully behind her back angled toward my pussy. Seeing my bratty girlfriend being so obedient went straight to my cunt and I was very happy to give her permission to use her tongue to find out just how wet I was.

Princess loves licking cunt anyway but I’ve never seen her like this before lapping and licking so eagerly she was bent forward barely able to balance with her hands behind her back and pressing her face further into my clit to hold herself up. It made me think what fun that spreader bar I bought a few weeks ago was going to be.

I let her make me come once in that position and then I allowed her to place her hands carefully on the tops of my thighs so that as she leaned forward she pulled my legs open even further to practically fuck my cunt with her whole mouth. All I could see when I glanced down was blonde hair and bright red nails against my pale skin.

I can’t remember if she made me come twice or three times but all I know is that I’ve never come from oral sex that way before. She left me so orgasmed out all I could do was lie on the sofa and smile at her still kneeling there like a very good girl….

Oh Her Knees

Orgasms

I am slightly preoccupied with orgasms at the moment. One of the cruellest tricks my body plays when I’m having a relapse is that it can’t cope with exertion without tipping me into pain and fatigue and having to curl up in bed waiting for the day to be over.

Sometimes this is the exertion of using my brain like working all day. But mainly it’s physical exertion such as exercise or anything else that raises my heart rate past a certain point. Which infuriatingly makes orgasms as potentially risky to my health as running for the bus.

So I’m rationing orgasms at the moment and it’s mainly proving that if you deny yourself something it’s all you can think about it. I’ve been dreaming about them but managing to wake myself up before I actually have an orgasm in my sleep. I’ve been picturing giving Princess orgasms while we were sitting on the sofa chatting yesterday. I’ve had to hide my Doxy under my bed to stop it from giving me ideas.

It’s incredibly distracting so to try and make a virtue of this preoccupation I’ve been revisiting favourite or memorable orgasms I’ve had. Somewhat unusually I can’t remember my first orgasm either by myself or with someone else but over the last few years plenty of orgasms have stood out for me.

When I first started fucking my Master I was used to sex with men that involved them having their orgasm first and then giving me an orgasm almost as an afterthought like well brought up people say ‘thank you for having me’ automatically after being invited somewhere even if they don’t mean it. These orgasms were on a tit for tat basis of one for you, one for me like the world would end if someone had more pleasure than another.

This is partly testament to my taste in men (which isn’t something I’d write home about) but also the way we talk about sex as something done to women rather than with women and framed as what men expect rather than what women need so that women’s orgasms and pleasure are seen as incidental to how you can ‘drive hime wild’ or ‘keep your man.’ Add in our goal oriented culture with everything being reduced to tick boxes and to do lists and orgasms become some kind of destination instead of the journey.

My Master isn’t like that at all and it confused me so much the first time we fucked that I actually fought against it until I was sure he was really enjoying concentrating on my pleasure and giving me orgasms not stacking up some kind of sexual debt I had to pay off in return.

Since then I’ve become slightly spoilt by how many orgasms he (and Princess) has given me and also extremely appreciative that they both encourage me to be greedy for them. It’s been notable how my orgasms have physically changed in that time too. Not only have they grown in intensity, but I’m more aware of the different ways I can orgasm now.

I used to have concentrate incredibly hard to be able to come like if I didn’t keep my eye on the prize the whole way, it would elude me and that orgasm would feel like a full stop to events. Now my orgasms in person come more easily and they feel like commas linking each action together so that I can come multiple times and still want more.

Different actions and sensations lead to different kinds of orgasms too. The feeling of an orgasm when my Master uses his whole fist in my cunt is like the giddy abandon of when you’d twirl round and round until dizzy as a child before letting go and feeling you could fly for a second before immediately wanting to do it again.

And when Princess gets me up on my knees and strokes either side of my clit with two fingers and makes me squirt all over the bed my orgasm is in two stages. The first moment of cold liquid squirting from my cunt making way for the warm floaty feeling of pleasure rushing up from my toes to my mind.

Putting the Doxy deep inside my cunt makes me ejaculate almost the same way as a man so that my orgasm sneaks up on me and I lose control of my senses and my cunt momentarily glad to see the evidence that I’m still with the world. These orgasms are the kind that tend to tip my body over its threshold and mainly occur when I’m on my own or my Master is pushing me to breaking point.

Something about another person there seems to keep me grounded and my body behaving so now I’m wondering if two people in the form of a threesome would be practically medicinal…?

 

Orgasms