Start As You Mean To Go On

I had the kind of childhood you forget huge chunks of to get through. I don’t say this for sympathy but to explain why the oddest things stick in my mind from my formative years but others people might expect don’t.

Princess and I were talking recently about early sexual experiences and while she can remember exactly the first time she masturbated or had an orgasm, I couldn’t. Not that there’s any explicit trauma around those things for me but in blocking out the bad bits, you also shut out the good bits.

It got me thinking about the things that shaped my sexuality generally and because I have the most incredibly relaxed therapist I’ve been discussing it in sessions recently and seeing what was lurking in my brain after the time I’d forgotten I’d had my first three person relationship at the age of sixteen. And I got quite a shock with what I recalled.

Because depending what you consider your first sexual experience, mine was with a girl I went to primary school with. We didn’t fuck or even touch each other but it was the first time I ever got naked for pleasure with someone else which is a pretty notable sexual experience in itself.

We were friends at school because we were the dysfunctional ones in a school of privileged kids. My parents showed no real interest in me and her parents were divorcing at a time when such things were still incredibly rare in Ireland. And to add to our bonding, our issues were with our mothers in a society that exalts motherhood to the point of sainthood.

Her mother in fact had recently run off with a much younger man who rode a motorbike in full leathers and left her and her sister with their dad while she was clearly having some kind of mid life sexual awakening that fascinated us as we’d never really thought about parents being sexual until then.

We spent a lot of the summer between leaving primary school and starting secondary school at her house taking advantage of neither of her parents being around much but trying to make up for it by paying for MTV in the days when that had social cache. Occasionally we had to look after her younger sister and occasionally I had to skip her house to be looked after by my brother and he was the more useful of the two siblings.

Being as he was at the time a teenage boy, he and his friends spent a lot of time seeking out porn. In those days that came in the shape of magazines that had to be hidden more carefully from prying parental eyes than an internet search history does now. Unfortunately for them they weren’t smart enough to hide it from a curious little sister and I took them to my friend’s house where we thought it might enlighten us to what was making her mum act like she was.

We started out fascinated by it all, flicking through the pages seeing seemingly normal looking women get more and more scantily clad and turned on. Each page stripped off the bikinis or underwear we were used to seeing women posing in national newspapers or beer cans and we remained quite blasé until we discovered that these women’s cunts looked different to ours behind the scenes.

Both of us were at that stage of puberty where our bodies were changing but still not fully developed. I was slightly envious of her in the changing rooms because she was ready to wear a bra and I was still in camisoles but like most girls of that age getting changed for swimming or games meant not letting any part of your body below the neck be seen by anyone else for fear of social shaming.

So I’d never thought about hers or anyone else’s cunt and I’m not sure we’d ever been given the euphemistic advice to ‘get to know yourself’ with a hand mirror by then as we didn’t get the period talk until secondary school. We were goggle eyed when the pages got to the point of the women pulling their labia apart to reveal this whole new landscape behind the familiar vulva we knew we both had.

Like any kids learning about their bodies we found it hard to believe we could be like that too and I’m not sure if it was a practical decision or suggestion that we look at our own to compare with these blissed out looking women in Penthouse or Fiesta. I don’t remember if we undressed together or what stages it took but at some point we were both completely naked in her bedroom with the magazines between us.

There was definitely a childishness to this show and tell to begin with but as both of us lay against the bed with our legs apart, pulling our cunt lips open and staring at what we found on ourselves and each other, I remember the atmosphere changing. I’m not sure who turned the pages until we found the inspiration that we could slip our fingers inside these fascinating folds we found out we had.

I don’t know if she’d known you could do that before or had been doing it already but I definitely hadn’t and we both felt the effects of it as soon as we did going from casual exploration to pleasure seeking. I’m pretty sure I couldn’t have explained this as masturbation if pushed to explain but we’d definitely changed the dynamic now.

I remember her lying back on the bed against her pillows with her knees open and her cunt looking different to mine but right there with her finger inside as she wriggled and moved. I remember also putting a finger inside myself but being up on my knees with the magazine in between us and definitely continuing to flick through it.

We didn’t articulate what we were doing as I doubt we had words for it but we took turns in those positions to pull ourselves open into the same poses as the women in the magazine as if copying them and pretending each other was the audience even though it wouldn’t have occurred to us that women could look at each other too.

I remember being a stickler for rules and orders even then and not deviating from the poses I saw in pages and pages of porn. But she was a rebel who used her other hand to pinch her nipples and rub her cunt as well keeping her fingers moving inside her. I don’t know if she’d acquainted herself with her clit before but she was certainly a faster learner than me with her body arching and squirming as both her hands moved at once while I watched until she went still.

I think I thought she’d gone still because she’d heard someone coming home but now I realise that she’d actually come in front of me. I know I didn’t because I was still sticking to the orders of the magazines to pose rather than perform like she had. I bet if she’d told me what to do I’d have got over my shyness instantly.

And then we did hear her grandparents coming home and luckily both were slow on the stairs giving us time to shove the magazines under the duvet and pull our clothes back on. I remember feeling so aware of my cunt when I put my shorts back on with the almost throbbing ache I now know is being incredibly turned on but not getting to come.

I also remember eating dinner with her and her grandparents and then being sent to play together afterwards but her barely looking at me or talking until I went home with my stash of magazines rescued from her bed. I do remember that one was missing when I checked though and I also remember that she and I never hung out again before going on to separate secondary schools a few weeks later.

I also remember being very keen to get that intense almost uncomfortable but can’t think about anything else feeling between my legs back again because it felt so good to me. I suspect that that was the summer I discovered masturbation. I wonder what else I’ll remember next…

Start As You Mean To Go On

Looking In

My Master and I were texting back and forth today as the toy he bought me has been putting ideas of submission in my head. I was imagining kneeling down for him as he bent that monster toy round to give me a clenched fist and five fingers at the same time and I couldn’t help but distract him with my thoughts at work.

I can’t take the credit completely for turning him on tonight when Princess was clearly horny at home with him too but I was delighted to get a text telling me that since she was sucking his cock, I needed to see how many times I could come before he did.

I was to get straight on my knees and ride the John Holmes toy for my first orgasm before working up to the Doxy for the second and sliding as many fingers in alongside the toy for the third. Sir was certainly in the mood to set me quite a challenge tonight.

Sadly my cunt was working quite as fast as his filthy mind and I couldn’t take the toy so he told me to be quick and move straight to the Doxy. Hearing that he had Princess on her back on the kitchen table right by the open window with the lights on for the neighbours to see them made me extremely horny.

I was glad I had chosen to fuck myself on the living room floor tonight so I could really picture them as if I was looking out my window and straight into theirs. Like I was watching them fuck half hoping for an audience, half completely engrossed in how horny they are for each other.

It didn’t take me long to come with the Doxy full speed on my cunt and texting my Master to thank him. He’d switched Princess for her back to her knees and was fucking her throat, coming just as his phone buzzed with my message. The timing was so perfect it definitely made me feel like a voyeur looking in on them but in a good way….

Looking In

Self Love

When Princess had things to celebrate this week and Sir wanted to mark the occasion with a little gift there was only one thing it could be. A beautiful glossy die cast Doxy all to herself. No more begging and borrowing mine as reward for good behaviour but her very own toy any time she wants.

She almost succumbed to the temptation to use it then and there before dinner but she delayed the gratification which impressed my Master (and me) no end. It does mean we get to try my Master’s idea of blindfolding her and seeing if she can tell the difference between my Doxy and the die cast version to prove her wand slut credentials once and for all.

But it also made think how different Princess and I are when it comes to masturbation. She loves it as much as fucking, treating it variously as pure enjoyment, self care and foreplay on a regular basis to the point I can almost always guess when she might be masturbating when she’s alone (although she usually surprises me with the number of times she manages to make herself come.)

I, on the other hand, very rarely masturbate especially for myself. I do enjoy masturbation when it is part of my training and submission to my Master or to prepare me for Princess. But I honestly can’t remember the last time I masturbated on my own terms. This is isn’t just because I’m so obedient to Sir’s orders but because it’s never really been my thing.

Before I started actually fucking I did masturbate to distract me from incredibly ridiculously horny all the time I felt as a teenager. I’d probably have done a lot better in my maths GCSE if I hadn’t spent as much time playing with myself when I should have been revising but as soon as I discovered cock in real life masturbation very much fell out of fashion in my world.

Given the choice between making myself come or finding a cock that could, I always picked the cock even if it meant getting dressed, going out and listening to a lot of small talk along the way. Maybe it was laziness or the lack of sex toys in my life at the time but I never looked forward to masturbation as an event in itself.

Even now it seems like second or third best to me and I can’t imagine just masturbating because I’ve got twenty minutes spare or need to get to sleep or had a stressful day. Instead of switching my brain off to concentrate on myself like that, it seems to send me more into myself in an unhelpful way and I find it surprisingly difficult to let go into an orgasm.

Focusing on someone else however relaxes my mind and my cunt completely and makes masturbation into something else entirely. Kind of a combination of enjoyment, performance and pleasure that really turns me on because it gives the other person the opportunity to masturbate too.

There’s something utterly glorious about that thought that makes my stomach pinch in pleasure and my cunt stretch open in anticipation. It’s my kind of audience and knowing I’ve got the feedback of turning someone else switches my brain off and turns me on like nothing else.

Maybe I just need to start asking my Master for permission to play more often and see if I can time it to when Princess is using her new Doxy since that won’t be as infrequent as I am….

Self Love

A Little Buzz

I know I said I’d been having a bad patch recently but when my Master messaged me at the weekend asking what I was up to I decided it was worth exhausting myself to see what he had in mind. I hadn’t had an orgasm since I’d last fucked him a few weeks ago and I’d spent to night before face first in Princess making me incredibly horny.

Knowing I need a little help at the moment, he ordered me to use the Doxy but this time instead of simply sliding it into my stretched cunt and lying back I was to ride it like a cock. Seeing as my Master was the man to convert me to fucking on top after years of those men who lie there immobile while you fuck him til your thighs burn only for them to stop straight after they come, my ears pricked up at this order.

I liked the idea of seeing how much deeper I could take the Doxy this way and practising leaning into the power of its vibrations and finding out how holding still versus fucking myself against it worked. But my Master never likes to let me go at my own pace.

Even when I’m masturbating I have to prove my submission to him by focusing my pleasure to his orders and enjoyment. To some people that might sound constricting but to me it literally opens me up both physically and mentally. Submission to his domination is an immediate turn on for me even if he isn’t physically present.

He had me slide the Doxy into me and slide it in and out of my cunt slowly and steadily on the lowest setting for ten minutes making sure I didn’t come under any circumstances. I felt a little bit tight by my standards but some generous lube had the toy slipping inside and feeling myself actually stretch open in the process.

I love that feeling more than anything else as my cunt literally comes to life wrapping itself around a huge toy or Sir’s cock or Princess’s fingers. It’s like a moment of sexual energy that brings the horny feelings in my mind and body together and turns thoughts into intentions. As soon that sensation happens I know my body is working with me and it’s going to be pure pleasure.

I started myself off gently running the Doxy for a minute stationary in my cunt feeling that shiver and shudder of getting turned on and then I started sliding the toy in and out, pushing it in as deeply as comfortable and pulling it out so that the widest point stretched me wide to the point of pleasure-pain.

It didn’t feel like ten minutes as time stood still while I was so focused on the sheer enjoyment so it’s just as well my Master texted me at exactly ten minutes to remind me that I needed to pay attention to my orders. I was up on my knees, rocking against the Doxy like a huge cock almost instantly.

I turned the speed up just as my cunt got greedy before stopping and staying still so that the toy and the vibrations filled me up. It felt so good I had to put my hands on the bed to steady me and seeing the wand moving in my cunt with only my muscles holding it place made me want more.

Sir had given me orders to come three times around the Doxy without switching it off or stopping. The first came as I put it on full speed and leaned into it brushing my fingers across my clit piercing exploding into an orgasm so intense I couldn’t tell if it was lube or me ejaculating dripping down the toy.

Riding the Doxy

The second orgasm was still on my knees pushing against the Doxy and pulling it out my cunt to that widest point that makes me feel filled and fulfilled in equal measure. It was so strong the bed seemed to tilt as I went a bit wobbly with intensity. The third orgasm came easily was I rolled onto my back and my legs pulled up into the air with the toy buried as far as possible in my exhausted cunt.

No sooner had I lifted my phone to thank my Master for the orgasms and describe them to him than he pushed me further by changing the order to five orgasms without switching the wand off. There was no chance in hell I could have taken another moment of those vibrations let alone another orgasm.

All I could do was lie back with the Doxy on my thighs feelings the muscles in both my legs and my cunt twitch in exhaustion and pleasure feeling utterly fucked…

A Little Buzz

Numbers Game

So I told you yesterday that my cunt was famous and then I went back to wondering what the largest thing I could slide into it was. Then curiosity got the better of me in other and I decided to test my maths skills by seeing how many views in total the Xhamster videos had had.

I’m extremely good at estimating the size of things when I’m putting them in my cunt and I can eyeball the size and girth of any kind of cock with ease, but I am terrible with numbers to the point where my Master really has to bite his lip from saying something about how embarrassing it is.

If I could actually drive I’d be a stereotype of a woman driver who can’t gauge spatial awareness to park her car and mortified by it. Those ‘guess who many’ games were my nemesis at school fetes and waiters love me because I can only work tips out by rounding up massively.

So my guess was that my twenty one videos had had about 35,000 views in total and felt smug about being able to say that thousands of people had seen my cunt without any hyperbole. Then I used an actual calculator and discovered that my videos had just over 111,000 views in total.

I think you know you are a gold star slut when you can measure the number of people who’ve watched you masturbate in the hundreds of thousands and immediately wonder what would get you to a quarter of a million views…

Numbers Game

Absolutely Ruin Me

My Master is being very generous with the Doxy at the moment and he had me playing with it again on the sofa the other day. I enjoyed lying back in all that space, knowing their housemates could walk in at any time and reading this excellent fisting story while pressing the Doxy against my cunt.

When it came to slipping the head of the Doxy inside me I videoed* it to send to him and was impressed to see that it only took 18 seconds for the whole thing to slide into my gaping cunt. That recent stretching is definitely paying off.

The whole head of the Doxy in my gaping cunt

I enjoyed fucking myself back and forward with it on the lowest speed to warm me up before really starting to take the power up through my soaking wet cunt. It didn’t take long to get to this stage of wanting the toy inside but also wanting to be able to come.

Doxy wand stretching my wet cunt wide open

 

And in order to be able to come I needed the Doxy pulled out to the widest point to stretch me as much as possible. All while at full power and fucking it side to side in my slippery wet cunt to completely ruin it as I came so hard I ejaculated at the same time.

Stretched open til I gape with the wand inside my pussy

No wonder my Master was pleased with me. This is making me greedy for even more stretching….

 

 

*And if you are greedy for more videos, remember I have a selection at Clips4Sale you can enjoy anytime

Absolutely Ruin Me

Building Up

My Master had me busy the other day getting my confidence back when my cunt found a limit I didn’t know I had. I think we both enjoyed falling back into the rhythm of his dominance and my submission because he was keen to give more orders the next day too.

He texted me while I was out and about and told me to go home and fuck myself every hour with the John Holmes toy. Having already had one punishment pending I wanted to check I was obeying my orders properly.

I know he likes me to come round the big toy to ruin my cunt further each time as it clenches and relaxes so I checked if I was to come each time to stretch me further. He raised an eyebrow at my question and suggested I had an ulterior motive in being greedy for orgasms as well as obedience. But he allowed it.

I have to say my ideas of Bank Holiday amusement couldn’t live up to his and I went home almost immediately and began fucking myself every hour from 3.30pm. My first turn with toy was still a little tender and not very deep with a fairly gentle orgasm.

By the time I was slightly late around 7.30 because dinner took longer than I expected, my cunt was swallowing the whole toy as deeply as possible and the orgasms were deeper too. And my Master could see the difference with the photos I was sending.

At 10.30 my cunt was happy to keep going but my arms were aching and in a slightly bratty attempt to be practical about energy saving on my part, I asked my Master if I could use the wand.

Some day I’ll learn that me being bratty does not work like Princess being bratty and it brings out his slightly sadistic streak strongly. Today was not that day. He agreed I could use the Doxy but that I wasn’t allowed to lift it off my clit until I’d had three orgasms with the toy inside me.

Oddly for what was meant to make things easier for me, it took me longer and more effort to come with the Doxy. I couldn’t quite get the speed right to begin with. The slowest speed is slightly too low for me but the next speed up is not ideal with my piercing without a lot of lube and I had to cycle back and forth between them to find the right pace.

And then the toy slid out because I was so lubed up and I had to start again. I was beginning to regret my request more as my order of orgasms was slipping out of reach (literally.)

Just as I was getting frustrated, I found the right level of vibration and penetration and held the Doxy on my clit as I had a first gentle orgasm, pushing the wand down harder to create a second and then turning it up for the third and final one that felt more like losing grasp of reality than anything else.

My cunt pushed the toy out as I came the last time and all I could do was lie there and be very grateful my Master wasn’t giving any more orders that night or I’d be completely broken…

 

 

Building Up