Base Urges

I enjoyed my Master’s texture challenge the other night even if it was less show and tell and more hide and seek inside my cunt at the time. It was interesting to focus on a different kind of feeling for once when masturbating and concentrate on tactile sensations rather than just the sensation of fullness.

This different focus kept me on my toes nicely to stop myself falling into my old bad habit of rushing orgasms when I masturbate so they don’t really satisfy me properly. Like snacking mouthfuls as you pass the fridge fills your stomach up but doesn’t engage or satiate your brain’s hunger, my tendency to come almost for the sake of it is wasteful.

That kind of functional orgasm does nothing for me. It doesn’t turn me on, it doesn’t help me sleep and it gives my sex drive the same sickly feel as eating too many sweets or snacks between meals. In a long term relationship that makes me as bratty as I’m ever likely to get but in my single days it lead to impulsive sexual decisions like being hopped up on sugar or food colourings from eating junk food.

One of the first things my Master did when he started training me was to regulate this tendency teaching to slow down and savour masturbating so I really got to know my body and feel the orgasms instead of the equivalent of bolting down the main course to get to dessert.

It really worked to focus me on his dominance and not my own flights of sexual fancy and  without being taught to pace myself and be less sexually superficial I would not have been able to submit to my Master properly or stretch myself as much as I have been. Psychologically I’d have lost my nerve if I’d rushed and physically it’s not a good idea to mix haste and large objects.

I haven’t been able to fuck properly for what feels like forever recently. First I was ill. Then that bout of bacterial vaginosis and the the antibiotics I took for it really knocked my cunt off course with it taking ages to get back to normal levels of lubrication. Then life has got in the way of seeing my Master or Princess to actually fuck and if that wasn’t annoying enough, my cunt now has thrush from the antibiotics. My body feels like one of those over stimulated toddlers that needs to sleep but forces itself to stay awake even though it’s miserable.

Some people just get really obviously horny when they go without sex. You know the kind that starts humping the furniture without totally noticing they are doing it? Other people use all that untapped energy to motivate them into other non sexual things like going running to burn off the frustration.

I get irritable and oddly un-sexual despite being incredibly frustrated and horny. It’s like if I don’t have sex I know I’m missing out on something but lose the ability to read the cue and just get grumpy and wound up emotionally while my cunt forgets to connect to my mind. I can’t tell if I’m tired, hungry, thirsty or horny until I’m reminded obviously like someone offers me a cup of tea or tells me to get on my knees for them.

I’m not sure why I’m so bad at translating my own bodily urges but it’s like I need constant reminders to work those almost primal muscles so they stay fit and active. I don’t really understand why my body’s response to a lack of things like food and sex in my day to life is to go into hibernation mode to wait out some kind of famine rather than actively seek out things that are essential bodily needs.

But I end up irritated and out of sorts but without the focus that I’m hungry or horny and need to go and do something about it. Instead I annoy myself with my bad mood and hope someone will offer me a sandwich or a threesome and then my brain finally makes the connection and starts communicating with my cunt or my stomach.

I’m in this stage at the moment but with the added frustration that my cunt is attention seeking in all the wrong ways and not welcoming the feeling of getting fucked. It’s like realising you are starving hungry and then discovering you can’t taste anything because you’ve got the cold.

If my body is forcing me to slow down so much my mind is starting to run away with itself  with ideas of submission to balance it out. I think I might have to ask my Master if he has any ways I can actively submit to him to keep me engaged but not likely to do something ill advised like fuck myself too soon out of frustration.

Only problem is that suddenly everything on that menu looks appetising to me. Now I know why women let men order for them…

Base Urges

Texture

Is there anything more disappointing than a dodgy dildo? I haven’t had the chance to play with the monster my Master bought me for my birthday because there’s a problem with the texture of it. I’m not sure if it’s a fault with the toy itself or the way it’s been stored in the packaging before being sent out.

But it’s not safe to be near my cunt right now sadly so to make it up to me (especially after the awkwardness of taking a two foot long dildo to the Post Office) my Master set me a little challenge. I was to take three toys and compare the textures of them in my cunt before coming round each of them.

It wasn’t about length or girth this time per se but about touch and texture instead so I used it as an excuse to delve deep into my toy box and compare and contrast to make my choices. Although it says a lot that my first stop was actually the fridge for my beloved glass dildo chilled to perfection under the emergency bar of chocolate to start me off.

I love the feel of that glass toy. One side is dimpled and the other is swirled and curled and the toy works best with extremes of temperature. I slid the cool dimpled end inside me and enjoyed the fact that glass is by it’s very nature incredibly firm and inflexible. It’s like the hardest cock possible and that over the top-ness makes it feel so much a like a toy all for the pleasure of playing with.

The unyielding texture of the toy actually works with your cunt more than you’d expect. The cool feel allows the heat of my cunt to transfer to it and the rigidity allows the soft wetness to contrast with it so the toy slides in and out gracefully and gloriously as I fuck myself deeply and steadily with it. The little clink as it slips in as far as possible and skims across the metallic piercing in my swollen clit always pushes me over the edge into an orgasm.

In contrast my next toy was a new experience for me. A little purple jelly vibrator designed to work like a rabbit with clit stimulation, it came free with a Lovehoney order and I’ve never used it on me. Princess responded well to it but it was unchartered territory for my current cunt.

My first ever sex toy was a gift from a friend in that stereotypical pink glittery jelly and I never warmed to it abandoning it quite quickly to go back to using my hand. This was the first time I’d revisited the texture and I suspect it’ll be the last. There’s something about the sticky squishiness of jelly toys that causes my cunt to shrink away from them and considering how tiny this toy is by my standards that’s a very bad thing.

It did not slip inside me anywhere as easily as the glass toy. No glide, more stopping and starting like trying to learn to use the clutch pedal on your first driving lesson than getting fucked. The texture seemed to suck the moisture from my cunt with the wrong kind of friction for fun.

Adding the vibrations didn’t help much. I’m used to the jumbo jet style roar and reverberation of the Doxy and this was more like someone sneezing on my clit instead. Like many starter style sex toys, it has a lot of functions and less impact cycling through all kinds of whispers of vibration that never quite go anywhere. Especially when half the settings seem to involve that on-off buzz pattern that builds to pleasure before dying away in frustration.

I haven’t worked that hard for an orgasm in years with the soft little toy feeling limp and damp inside and against me definitely not filling me up or fulfilling the promise of vibrations. I haven’t felt anything that half hearted near my cunt since I stopped fucking straight men and my orgasm was more like a defiant fuck you to the clammy fumbling toy than actual pleasure.

I was very pleased I’d kept my eternal favourite pink G spot toy from Lovehoney for the finale. Bought as a  substitute for the much more expensive Jopen Comet G spot toy I couldn’t justify spending so much money on, this toy has given me more pleasure than I ever imagined. Made of smooth sleek silicone, I’ve used it in my ass and my cunt and loved it in both.

It has the slight tackiness of silicone that goes with lubrication like salt goes with pepper to compliment and enhance each other and this toy just feels like it comes home in my cunt. Not as rigid as the glass and not as languid as the jelly toy, it feels more like the hardness of an actual cock and my cunt is definitely on home turf with that feel.

Silicone doesn’t seem to absorb heat the same way but it loves lube making it slick and sleek inside you to make sure the toy really builds up good friction against the slightly raised swollen spongy feel of my G spot when I’m really turned on. It butts against it but slips just enough to give a twisting motion that always makes me come so hard I feel like I might squirt as well. And last night was no difference.

I lay back after my third consecutive orgasm and tried to decide which toy was my favourite. I love that clean cool feel of glass and never tire of playing with it but the pink toy just works for me getting me turned on and fucked to orgasm every single time with the least effort. And it’s not just good with myself, both my Master and Princess can use it on me to incredible results too.

I think I might be a silicone slut but Sir has set me another three toys to play with tonight too so who knows…?

 

Texture

Posed

My cunt still isn’t quite back to full functioning so my horniness has had to be in my head recently which has given me lots of time to think of sexual scenarios I think I’d enjoy participating in.

I keep coming back to the idea of blindfolding Princess to rein in her brattiness so I can take control of her more. But the problem is that if she saw a blindfold coming she’d wriggle and try to brat her way out of behaving.

I’d have to surprise her with a hidden blindfold. The logical place to stash it is in what I’m wearing so it’s close to my cunt. Then when I put it round her face she can breathe in how wet the idea of this is making me.

What I can’t decide is if I want to tell her to kneel on the bed or the floor while I put the blindfold on her. If she’s on the floor, I can lead her to the bed trusting me in the process which gets me ridiculously wet when my Master does it to me. But if she’s on the bed already I can simply push her down and start teasing her.

Flat on her back I can pull her legs open to make sure she feels exposed and watched, unable to see what I’m doing. So she doesn’t know whether I’m about to bite her, lick her, pinch her or flog her. Or maybe all of them? The best bit for me is that I don’t need to decide just yet.

But once I’ve got her wet and squirming and probably likely to start begging, I’m definitely going to really tease her with her new Doxy. Not straight on her clit, nor even her cunt but buzzing it along her thighs and over her nipples until she’s gasping and then onto her still clothed but soaking cunt.

And just as she’s arching her back to push her cunt harder against the Doxy aching to let it make her come, I’m going to lift it away and place it on my cunt instead. So she can still hear the vibrations of the toy but doesn’t know where they’ve gone. I can just see her wanting to pull her blindfold off to find out but knowing that’s brattiness gone too far.

Instead I’ll tease her with the sound of the toy rumbling against my clit piercing and maybe even make a tiny bit of noise myself to show her how much I’m enjoying masturbating while watching her blindfolded on the bed with her legs wide open for me.

I’m just deciding whether to inch my body forward on the bed so that it means the Doxy presses against both our cunts or not when my Master comes into the room to surprise me as much as I did Princess with the blindfold.

I like the idea of him also blindfolding me and taking the Doxy out my hand so I can’t tell whether he’s using the new one on her and the old one on me at this point or pushing my body towards hers so that we have both Doxies vibrating at once against us as he holds me down and she keeps her legs open.

Maybe he’d be so enjoying seeing her helpless and open like that he’d pull her panties off and put her into the spreader bar to make sure she stays that way. Perfect for pushing my face into her cunt to lick it while he fucks me with my upper body pushing against the bar as it rattles and moves so Princess has to guess and picture and fantasise about what he’s doing to me.

I like to think he’d take pity on her and pull the blindfold off just in time to let her see him come into me. He’s generous that way…

 

Posed

Links

Technology is a wonderful thing sometimes. The internet provides me with unlimited opportunities for filth from online shopping for sex toys, erotica, porn and clips and of course, blogging here. I’m an enthusiastic adopter of that side of modern life trust me.

But sometimes technology drives me batshit. Today my phone decided that my Master wasn’t properly in my phone after three years dividing his name and his instant messages  into separate entities like we don’t actually know each other.

Yet at the same time Instagram has a unerring knack of linking me to men I fucked or flirted years ago. Sometimes I double take before I recognise the face or the name. I often raise an eyebrow at the fact they are showing off the domestic life and clearly long term relationship they lied about having before hoping I’d suck their cock.

So many men must think a version of ‘my wife/girlfriend doesn’t understand me’ is a turn on for women to keep trotting that old chestnut out without any self awareness. But as someone whose done some outrageous things to get laid in their lifetime, I try not to judge anyone too harshly for lines and excuses in the hunt for orgasms.

That’s not to say I don’t have some limits though. There are the men who when I see them crop up on my social media having studiously avoided any contact with them for years that make me want to drop my phone in the bin. There’s an ex boyfriend who took bullshit into a new league, the man who literally compared my cunt in detail to his ex wife’s and the common or garden lazy bastards.

These are the men who you meet online who obviously leap at the chance to get their cock sucked by a slutty woman who has approached them and offered to fulfil their fantasies. Just as long as they don’t have to make any effort at all to the point of passive dismissiveness.

They refuse to travel to meet you, not even attempting to come halfway because as one put it, that costs me money you know. No matter what time you arrange, they need to change it to suit them better even when you’ve made it clear it wasn’t up for negotiation. Or they manage their manners til you meet up and then the rudeness starts in small undermining ways like it’s a transaction they don’t even need to pay for.

Seeing those men cross paths with my life again leaves a very bad taste in my mouth. Why Instagram couldn’t have given me the clues about them before I had to learn for myself instead of afterwards huh? Most of my sluttiness took place before there were these online trails and evidence and it unsettles me slightly.

It removes much of the anonymity and detachment I liked about casual sex and I don’t like an intimate object deciding what level of connection I have with someone after sexual contact with them. Bumping into them in street or crossing paths at a party feels very different to be urged to friend them and engage with them in the non sexual aspects of my life.

That’s something I’ve chosen in my relationship with my Master (and Princess) eschewing casual sex along the way. But I want to know that no social media or instant messaging service makes decisions in my life over his orders…

Links

High And Dry

Just before you think my whole life is non stop sex and kinky excitement day to day, I’m here to remind you it’s actually much more every day than you think. In fact the only thing I’m particularly sharing with my Master and Princess right now is that my cunt has gone a bit weird.

And the downside of sex with another woman is that if one cunt goes weird, the other is likely to go weird too and you end up texting each other some very strange Google links about bodily functions you didn’t know you could do.

A quick trip to the the proper doctor rather than just Dr Google tells me I’ve probably got bacterial vaginosis which isn’t really an STI but is very easily passed from one cunt to another if you’re fucking another woman. It’s when the natural bacterial balance of your cunt goes a bit awry and you end up with a low level infection.

I’m not sure if I got it first or Princess did but we’ve ended up with matching symptoms and two different styles of antibiotics to sort it. She went for the oral version and I opted for the vaginal version in a gel. Both of us needed seven days treatment and hopefully problem solved.

Most of my symptoms are now gone except that the antibiotics have left their own annoyance. Basically they’ve killed off the good bacteria as well so suddenly I’ve got no sign of life going on and I’m completely dry no matter how much I get turned on. And it’s bizarre.

I’m so used to my body and mind working together to present a united front when I’m horny that it’s confusing and disappointing when my brain is turned on and I can feel the sexual sensations in my cunt such as my clit swelling and everything tingling and wanting to be touched, but I’m still completely dry.

I know different people’s levels of lubrication varies and illnesses, medications, hormones and stressors can affect it from one time to another but for me the only things that tend to impact me are too much booze or not really wanting to fuck. No matter how much my brain is telling me to be sexual, my cunt knows the truth and I’ve always relied on it as a sensible big sister to stop me fucking for the sake of it by listening to the evidence it’s giving me.

So not being able to get wet at all for my Master last night with the John Holmes toy even with lube or spending the day with Princess after my birthday and feeling like my cunt is hibernating while the rest of me is so ready for sex is actually quite distressing. Logically I know it’s the effects of the antibiotics but I associate lack of wetness with not fancying someone and I hate even briefly having that link with my Master and Princess in my mind.

Like anything else you take for granted, you don’t fully appreciate it until you don’t have it anymore and I hadn’t realised how much I associated the mental thoughts of sexual arousal with the feeling of getting wet until now. I can still come from lots of stimulation on my clit but the orgasms aren’t as good. It’s like eating when you have the cold and you still enjoy your dinner but without your sense of smell and taste together it’s not the same. I’m like Samson with a short back and sides.

I’m trying to see it as a chance to try other things, almost like a prolonged feeling of those ruined orgasms my Master used to train me with to hone my submissiveness and stop me gorging myself on coming and then being too lazy for orders. It’s also teaching me to appreciate different types of touch without my cunt clamouring for all the attention.

If it takes a while to resolve it might be a good time for Sir to start spanking me again or playing with those beeswax candles or some hardcore wax play before I suck his cock. The thought of my own cunt ruining orgasms into submissiveness for me is almost hot but I’m still greedy essentially and would rather have the option to let my cunt be fully used too…

High And Dry

Looking In

My Master and I were texting back and forth today as the toy he bought me has been putting ideas of submission in my head. I was imagining kneeling down for him as he bent that monster toy round to give me a clenched fist and five fingers at the same time and I couldn’t help but distract him with my thoughts at work.

I can’t take the credit completely for turning him on tonight when Princess was clearly horny at home with him too but I was delighted to get a text telling me that since she was sucking his cock, I needed to see how many times I could come before he did.

I was to get straight on my knees and ride the John Holmes toy for my first orgasm before working up to the Doxy for the second and sliding as many fingers in alongside the toy for the third. Sir was certainly in the mood to set me quite a challenge tonight.

Sadly my cunt was working quite as fast as his filthy mind and I couldn’t take the toy so he told me to be quick and move straight to the Doxy. Hearing that he had Princess on her back on the kitchen table right by the open window with the lights on for the neighbours to see them made me extremely horny.

I was glad I had chosen to fuck myself on the living room floor tonight so I could really picture them as if I was looking out my window and straight into theirs. Like I was watching them fuck half hoping for an audience, half completely engrossed in how horny they are for each other.

It didn’t take me long to come with the Doxy full speed on my cunt and texting my Master to thank him. He’d switched Princess for her back to her knees and was fucking her throat, coming just as his phone buzzed with my message. The timing was so perfect it definitely made me feel like a voyeur looking in on them but in a good way….

Looking In

Many Happy Returns

It’s my birthday this week and my Master bought me a present. I’m very impressed that he picked out something that works for all three of us. Something so slutty it requires very specific and precise orders for me to be able to manage it but also something Princess and I can use together.

I mean you could say I’m predictable but I prefer to think that he knows my tastes so well

Many Happy Returns