First One

So the blog is exactly a year old today. Excellent going for someone who has never been very good at commitment or New Year’s resolutions before now. Considering how nervous I was about writing about my sexual life and posting pictures of my cunt in the public domain in those first few days I did not expect to still be here a year later.

Instead I’ve loved writing here. It’s partly excellent for organising my thoughts about my relationship, an excuse to show off what I’ve been doing and a way to record the sheer amount of training and effort my Master puts into me. Like a slutty diary everyone can read really.

And a lot of people have been reading it. Five thousand unique readers with almost 18 thousand hits from all round the world. Yesterday alone there were visitors from Venezuela, Pakistan and South Africa and I have regular readers in Poland, Brazil and Saudi Arabia. I rather enjoy the fact my cunt and my relationship with my Master and Princess have gone global.

The blog has given me the opportunity to meet people and make new friends, audition two potential sissy submissives, make and sell porn, wear my magic wand out with use, fuck a lot of large objects and fix up a loyal reader up with a woman to fist in real life.

As I mentioned before I’m slightly disappointed I didn’t manage to tick more full achievements off my list that my Master gave me a year ago but I did enjoy completing the following:

Trained my waist to 25″ in my corset without fainting. That’s a six inch reduction in 365 days and if my ribs allow, I’ll hopefully keep going to my 24″ target and celebrate with a new corset now I can fully lace myself into it on my own.

Taking my Master’s whole fist and four of his fingers at the same time in an early threesome with him and Princess. Not quite both fists but only a thumb away from both hands.

Wearing a wig and butt plug every time I went out for a month. My main issue at that stage was keeping the plug in as I walked. I should use my New Year relaxation to start back to that training in fact.

I think we’ve covered that I kept a public blog of my training but I also spent several nights with a girl. My relationship with Princess was the surprise of the year. I don’t think any of the three of us expected to turn into quite what it has and I couldn’t be happier that it has.

It’s certainly been the focus for both my Master and me this year and well worth any distraction from my list. It’s altered and strengthened my relationship with my Master and created a whole new one with her. I feel extremely lucky that he’s allowed me to share and shape her.

It’s taken my submission and his dominance in very different directions than I would expected a year ago and it’s been extremely good for me to be challenged by her in so many different ways as well.

I doubt 2017 can bring any surprises quite as unexpected as that but I look forward to what my Master has in mind all the same…

 

First One

Another Tick

So the experience of fisting my Master’s wife for the first time the other night was so incredible (and just writing that line goes straight to my cunt) that you’d wonder where you could go with things next.

My Master decided it was time to tick another task off my list for me in response was an excellent move…

But first he taught his wife how to fist me. Her whole clenched fist sliding in and out of my soaking wet cunt with her face buried in my clit felt amazing. Her tongue was basically fucking me because he had her on her knees filled up with the big John Holmes toy that he was stretching her cunt open with. I could feel each thrust on my clit as she licked me vigorously.

I also had the joy of seeing my Master dominate her and by proxy me and her looking undone by her submission. Her skin was flushed, her hair was wild and her make up was running down her face and for the first time I understood the pleasure of reducing someone to that state. I love it to happen to me but I’ve not seen it happen to someone else before.

And then a few minutes later, I had the pleasure of it happening to me. My Master took over from his wife, slipping his fist into me. I wasn’t sure if I was just getting used to the feel of it again because I didn’t remember being fisted being so overwhelming.

I could feel my eyes watering, my body squirming around on the bed and making more noise than I’ve ever made in my entire life in the back of my throat as he fucked me with his fist.

Then he instructed his wife to tell me what he was doing and she told me he had both fists in my cunt at once. One closed clenched fist and one open hand both slipping in and out of me at once and giving me the longest, most intense orgasm of my life. At one point I actually thought I would never stop coming. And I think I’d have been quite happy with that.

That wasn’t even the last orgasm I had that evening but it will be the one every other orgasm has to live up to from now on. Afterwards I checked my instruction on my list and it was ‘to take both [my Master’s] hands in my cunt’ and I felt pleasure in completing another task for him.

The only problem is that one fist at a time might not be enough now…

Another Tick

Mark Me

My Master’s instructions at the weekend are all about change. There’s the change that having never had any interest in having sex with women before that I’ve rarely been as excited about the thought of her.

Then there’s the change of getting another piercing. I’m starting with my upper ear on his instruction as he reminded me that he finds those ear piercings a good indicator of both sluttiness and poor decision making.

The former he encourages in me, the latter he seems to be helping me do less regularly. But there’s no harm in combining them occasionally so tomorrow I plan to visit the piercer again and mark my body visibly again with his orders.

It’s the perfect addition to my new daily sign of my smaller more defined waist that shows his ownership and training of me. I was wearing my tightest corset the other night and my Master could only pull it about half a centimetre tighter than I had done myself because my waist has changed so much.

I need to think about starting to size down to the 24 inch corset if I’m to keep enjoying the feel of him lace me into it. I adore the feeling of him literally dictating the pace of my breathing and the shape of my body as he tightens and ties it. The fact his wife was licking my clit as he did it this time enhanced that shiver of pleasure all the more.

But afterwards I knelt on the bed in my corset and catsuit in front of both of them and he measured my waist with a measuring tape to see what size it’s been trained to. Fully laced into the red corset and with the allowance for boning of it, there’s now a 9 inch different between my hips and my waist compared to a 5 inch difference last September.

At this rate I will definitely tick training my waist down to 24 inches off my list by the end of the year….

Mark Me

A Whole Month

Nearly halfway through the year, it feels really good to have completely ticked something off the list my Master has given me for 2016.

Every single time I’ve gone out for the last month I’ve been wearing a wig and a butt plug as ordered and I’m convinced that it will be the most difficult thing I do from that list all year.

That’s partly because it’s almost 24/7 submission but done alone without my Master present which alters the dynamic in a way for me that things like waist training or not wearing underwear doesn’t.

Those things start out a challenge for me, something I am intensely aware of when I start. Every step was noticeable when I started wearing the jiggle balls, every breath in and out the first few days I wore the waist trainer or way I moved and bent over when I stopped wearing underwear.

And then they start to feel so normal, so usual that I forget I didn’t always do them and have to think back to how I was when I first met my Master. But I remained intensely conscious to the point of self conscious of the wig.

In contrast the only time I noticed the butt plug during that month was when I was walking back from my Master’s recently and due to the repeated orgasms he’d just given me mixed with a combination of lube and come, it slipped out as I was walking. A few more steps at a reduced speed proved to me that a latex catsuit would stop it crashing to the ground and I made it home unscathed and moderately amused.

The wig however became more and more challenging each time. I became so panicky about people who know me outside Candi seeing me with her that I had to message my Master and ask what to do when I thought I really couldn’t spend time with a mutual friend of ours the other night because of it.

I’ve been thinking a lot about why the wig is so problematic for me. Partly on a practical level of being used to short hair, it gets in my way far more than I’m used to and makes me impatient and too warm. But more than that, it’s a visible sign of my dynamic with my Master and I’m not used to that. It feels exposing and vulnerable in a way that the secrecy and privacy of our relationship doesn’t.

I have always thrived on secrets and hidden aspects in sexual relationships. Even where I’m open with someone on a personal level, if it suited our dynamic I might have been seeing someone else and not telling them or been having a relationship with someone I shouldn’t have been or doing things people who thought they knew me would be shocked by.

And in many ways my relationship with my Master carries on in that vein. It’s not public knowledge amongst people who know both of us, I don’t discuss it with friends and a huge part of it for me is about people not suspecting the level of sluttiness and kink just under the surface.

I revel in the fact that the average person I interact with in a week would never guess that I’ve been fisting myself in Selfridges or never wear underwear or suspect that under my fairly strong personality I’m incredibly sexually submissive. The wig is more overt, a more obvious sign of that to me than I’m used to or comfortable with.

Having to consider why I found the whole task so difficult it has made me more aware of why my Master set me as an order. I’m glad he did and even more glad I saw it through no matter how hard it became. I hate to disappoint or defy him, but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t relieved to complete the task.

It has made me even more keen to move on to the rest of the list though in comparison…

A Whole Month

Tea and Cake

mug & dildo

Yesterday was supposed to be a quiet day, but somehow it didn’t end up like that. To make sure my clips site is ready to open in the next day or two, I had another meeting about it which involved getting up close and personal with a mango again.

Then I had to go to a friend’s house for another meeting and as it is a co worker’s birthday I’d been instructed to bring a cake as the baker in the group. I considered chocolate cake. After all, who doesn’t like chocolate?

But who doesn’t like mangoes either? Especially soft juicy ripe ones. And I do have the a very recipe for a mango cake that I’ve been meaning to try for ages. It seemed a shame to waste the opportunity.

Cake in the oven, I started planning my next shoot and tidied up from the morning over a cup of tea. Then it was on with my waist trainer, in with my glass plug and on with my red wig and out of the house with the cooled cake.

My Master has me on my month from my list of always leaving the house with a wig on and a toy inside me and it’s nerve wracking. Last night involved seeing people I’ve known for years who I knew would ask questions and show their curiosity clearly. The cake was a bribe.

And my new do was the talk of the evening. Lots of prying as to why I’d changed my look so radically. I muttered about just fancying a change, squirming as I felt guilty like I wasn’t entirely telling the truth. Or maybe because I had 150g of glass toy in my ass.

All I had to do was get them talking about the cake and keep a straight face while they ate it. Strangely that was much easier…

Tea and Cake

Audit

My Master reminded me the other day that we are more than 3 months into the year and told me to write a post on how far I’ve come on the list he gave me at the very beginning of the new year.

He very rarely gives me a direct order on what to write here and I was annoyed with myself that it’s taken me two days to achieve the order and write this piece.

I’m also slightly disappointed with myself that now I look again at the list, I’ve achieved less of it than I would have liked by now. The temptation is to make excuses for it, but I think he’d appreciate action more.

  1. Deepthroat my cock
  2. Take his fist in my ass
  3. Pierce your tongue
  4. Train your waist to 24″ in a corset
  5. Spend a night in a sex club wearing blackout contacts
  6. Take both his hands in my cunt
  7. Be fucked by three guys at once
  8. Make 10 people come in one night
  9. Spend a night with a girl
  10. Train my own sissy slave
  11. Get a tattoo
  12. Wear a wig and butt plug every time I go out for a month
  13. Keep a public blog of my training

So far the only one I have actually done is keep a public blog of my training which is how I started the year off. I had no idea how much fun it would be and how much I would enjoy it but over 7000 views and a hundred plus posts later, I am loving it.

Otherwise I’ve been working on some of the others. I’m wearing a plug a lot of the time and being rewarded by the increase in orgasms, but still struggling with the thought of wearing a wig every time I go out.

I’ve been trying to find both the right sissy to train and a girl to spend the night with but haven’t found either yet (feel free to email me if you’d like to volunteer though!) I can’t decide if this is because other people are often flaky as fuck or if I really lack the authoritative tone and control of a top required to get people to do actually do things?

I suspect it’s an aspect of people being unreliable but mainly compounded with my lack of comfort with giving an order and expecting it to be followed. I’m still learning how to be a good submissive to my dominant that I don’t seem to be able to switch at all at the moment.

It’ll be interesting to see if I ever can or whether as I suspect I’m naturally submissive and most comfortable within that dynamic and need to find a way to adapt that to follow my Master’s orders while prioritising him but interacting with other people who take charge.

Luckily I’m making progress on the waist training before it seems like I haven’t even followed his orders yet this year. I’ve seasoned two 26″ corsets and can enjoy wearing them fully laced for long periods of time. I’ve also been wearing my waist trainer so much I only forgo it to sleep or shower in now and can definitely see the difference in the shape of my body when I do.

Hopefully these achievements bode well for the rest of the challenges for the rest of the year…

Audit