Hot Wax

My Master and I have had many many kinky conversations but like they say, you always remember your first. And out first ever filthy chat focused quite heavily on the thought of hot wax.

We discussed it several times in the early days of our relationship (back when I was being a slow learner and hadn’t realised we were properly doing D/s) and I actually bought a big bag of soy wax in anticipation.

And then we got sidetracked with all the other ridiculously fun and filthy kink over the last three years and the bag of wax got forgotten about until a recent clear out brought it to mind again.

It is testament to how much I was determined not to miss hot wax with my Master this time that I actually sent him a specific date I had in mind for it and more or less gave him an order for the first time in our relationship.

Life has got in the way of my Master and I doing any full D/s for a few months and I’ve been missing it. Submission doesn’t just turn me on but sort of recharges my emotional batteries too so for me the scene started long before Sir got to my house.

Researching how best to melt the wax and what to apply it with, picking out what to wear or not wear on the night, incorporating Princess into what I was setting up and then laying out my living room so that it was as close to a dungeon as I can get it meant my excitement built all week.

By the time I was getting dressed for Sir with full slutty make up designed to smudge and smear over the scene for Princess, I had that excitement that you can feel in both your stomach and your cunt. I was the tiniest bit worried I’d built the anticipation up too much as I knelt blindfolded re-acquainting myself with John Holmes for the first time in months as I waited for them to arrive.

I think it was about thirty seconds in when I realised the evening was in fact going to exceed my wildest expectations. My Master started me off by sitting back in my armchair glass of whisky in his hand letting me find his cock with my mouth.

Not only did his cock taste particularly good but he pulled me deeper down on it than I can usually manage by raking his hands through my hair and up and down my back and shoulders which made melt down onto his cock like I couldn’t get enough. Just as I was so blissed I could barely move my mouth round him, he swapped places with Princess and I buried myself in her lap too.

Sir ordered us both onto the floor on our knees and took turns fucking us. He filled me up with his cock and left me wanting more as he pulled Princess on top of him with her ass in the air and told me to use her as my toy. It was time to get the temperature play part of the evening going.

Alongside my hot wax I’d laid out an ice bucket and buried my favourite curved glass butt plug inside it. I left Princess’s ass hot and stinging after a few hard slaps and then pressed the ice cold toy against her. She took the toy in one go and sat down so hard on Sir’s cock I was envious of how filled up she was.

They didn’t leave me for long though, working together as Princess put me in the spreader bar as Sir tied my hands and arms so I was flat on my back, legs spread wide and unable to stop either of them from doing anything to me. I was completely naked, totally immobile and very vulnerable.

It was exactly the moment I wasn’t sure if I could take the pain I thought would be coming and I almost wanted to safe word before we’d even begun. This amount of anticipation after a whole week of waiting was unbearable. I was so wrapped up in in that moment I almost didn’t notice the first drip of wax for a second until a sting of beeswax brought me out of my thoughts and right into the scene.

I didn’t have more than a split second to breathe in before a warm wave of hot wax washed over me. Smoother softer cooler soy wax felt like pure pleasure on my skin. I could feel myself slide into subspace where my body and mind feel incredibly sensitive and attuned yet in soft focus.

Sir flicked and dripped the wax over my tits, warming my nipple piercings with residual heat which gave me much more sensation than I ever get there especially as Princess was flicking her tongue over my clit at the same time. I was just basking on ripples of warmth and orgasms as the sensations built with layers of hardening wax.

It was the first time my Master and Princess have worked together on a kink scene where I am doing active submission rather than just being submissive as I fuck and it felt like being passed from hand to hand if they weren’t letting my feet touch the ground like floating completely securely.

The wax kept coming running and dripping down my torso and arms, flicking onto my legs and tightening as it dried. I knew my Master and Princess were taking turns with it concentrating in places while alternating with bright hot splashes of the beeswax anytime I looked like I was starting to zone too far out.

Usually when I submit to Sir I am very quiet, almost non verbal but this scene pushed me out of that habit because I knew that to keep this pleasure coming I needed to give feedback as it was so unlike anything we’ve played with before. I’ve always thought that talking during a scene would take me out of it but in fact I discovered it enhanced everything.

Although maybe my Master also likes me silent because he gave Princess the order to use the Doxy on me at this point. The way she pulsed it and pressed it against my cunt made me lose my voice into the pull of five orgasms one after like a complete slut as the wax ran across my bare cunt feeling exactly like the warmth of squirting.

I was utterly spent. And my Master and Princess were just ready to get started on each other. I lay back watching as Sir slid his cock into Princess’s stretched welcoming ass and fucked her so hard they both collapsed into me as he came into her.

It was the perfect way to crack the wax they’d worked so hard to build up so that when they untied me and pulled me up off the floor there was a perfect line of wax around my body to prove how we’d spent two kinky hours that were more than worth the wait….

wax lines

Hot Wax

Worth the Wait

After building me up nicely all morning and afternoon with the John Holmes toy, I was incredibly horny and well stretched when my Master arrived at my house. Wearing the blindfold always makes my other senses as alert as my cunt when I hear the front door open and I was particularly interested to hear that he was carrying a bag with him. My Master rarely brings props but when he does they are well chosen.

I wasn’t entirely surprised when there was a new sex toy sliding into my cunt from his bag of tricks. I was however very surprised when he lifted my head up to close a heavy metal collar round my neck next. My back went so straight in the tightened corset at that point, the toy slipped out of my cunt instantly as the whole dynamic made me even wetter.

And he wasn’t finished there. He pulled my hands behind my back and tied them together with the new hemp rope. I loved the feeling of it scratching against my wrists but felt very vulnerable as he was tying me. Then I realised why it’s important to wait before you decide on things because once he’d bound both my hands, the balance of it turned me from vulnerable to delightfully helpless.

Surprisingly being bound and on my knees with a blindfold and corset trying to hold a large heavy plug in my cunt while my Master pushed my face down onto his cock made me less panicky about swallowing him deeper than I usually do, especially when he was kneeling in front of me for added depth.

I’ve rarely felt so helpless as when he lifted me to my feet and forced my legs apart to play with my piercing as he kissed me. Torn between opening my legs further to enjoy his hand more and keeping them closed to keep the plug in and fill me up, I enjoyed being distracted into coming either way remembering another occasion he used his hand and mouth to almost knock me off my feet with an orgasm.

I was surprised by how almost tender he was being kissing me as I came tied up and helpless under his hands and then he turned me and had me down on my knees and face first into the sofa in an instant so I was bent over with my cunt up in the air begging for his cock, hands behind my back.

No matter that I still had the huge heavy plug in my cunt, he had plans to stretch me right open with it and his cock at the same time. Part of me felt like it wasn’t possible to manage both and part of me felt like I’d cry if it wasn’t possible. The second he slipped his cock inside I came hard enough to push the plug out which felt like a bonus and a loss at the same time.

Toy slipped back inside my cunt, my Master fucked me so hard I could feel my make up running under my blindfold and I was actually making the kind of noise the neighbours might hear instead of my usual silence. I’ve rarely come as hard and repeatedly as I did especially when he came inside me using my corset to pull me down even harder onto his cock.

Normally he’d have punished me harder for forgetting to say thank you sir for the orgasms but he was clearly feeling benevolent even if he did leave me in that position for a while and spank my ass before he’d consider untying me. I could have stayed like that all afternoon frankly…

tied up and fucked on the sofa

Worth the Wait

Build Up

John Holmes toy and black corset

Princess likes instant gratification. If she could click her fingers and have it now from food to destinations to orgasms she would. My Master and I both like delayed gratification though so when he took some time off work this week, I was interested to see how long he’d make me wait for my fun.

He started by telling me as soon as I’d woken up to slide the John Holmes toy inside me and ride it for ten minutes every hour today. It took me rather longer to wake up and warm up and get such a monster toy inside me that he reminded me I only had thirty minutes to go before I had to start again.

In uncharacteristic brattiness I asked if I could keep the toy in now I was enjoying it so much. He noted that Princess seems to be rubbing off on me and agreed that I could spend an entire hour fucking myself with the big toy.

Luckily I’ve rather missed my Master’s slightly sadistic streak recently because that’s more of a punishment for being bratty than I realised to begin with. The John Holmes toy isn’t just big, it’s heavy too. An entire kilo of silicone cock in fact. Both my arms and my cunt were certainly feeling it thirty minutes in.

I switched back and forth from riding it on my knees to fucking myself on my back for the next twenty minutes and then my Master ordered me to run my fingertip over my clit piercing without stopping touching myself for the last ten minutes without coming. By the time my hour was up I couldn’t decide if I was right on the edge of an orgasm or desperate to stop to give my cunt a break.

My Master was worried I like being bratty but that’s more my old impulsive bad decision making self where I let my cunt decide what’s going to happen and not think of the consequences when there’s cock in the equation. And I’m glad he’s taught me not to do that too often.

But every hour at half past after that I slipped the big toy back inside without argument and fucked myself for ten full minutes to loosen me up and stretch me before my Master came round to play in person. The last minute saw play with my clit and pull back from the edge, distracting myself with choosing an outfit to please him with.

Corset laced, latex stockings shined, blonde hair and tits as dramatic as possible he ordered me to blindfold myself and kneel with the toy inside me on my living room floor and fuck myself with it until he decided to arrive to take mercy on me.

Time plays out very differently when you are so focused like that and I entertained myself with imagining the feel of his naked body and hard cock when he did arrive and wondering just how long he’d delay my gratification for his own enjoyment…

Build Up

Smooth Shaven

It slightly surprises me now that I was so resistant to shaving my cunt for my Master considering how much I’ve liked the feel of shaved skin over the years. But razors have always been a sign of me being in control not someone else.

When I was fifteen and had hair down to my waist and slightly egged on by my rebellious cousin, I shaved myself a fairly dramatic undercut with a Bic razor which I revelled in seeing if anyone at school would notice under my incredibly thick hair.

The fact they didn’t just encouraged me and over the next twenty odd years I’ve continued to wear my hair in variety of styles that have involved a pair of clippers. Just the thought of getting the back of my head shaved makes me shiver with delight in a non sexual ASMR way. Although there might be something less innocent to enjoying the deep rumbling vibrations of a pair of clippers on my hairline if I cared to delve deeper into my filthy mind.

But the real power with shaving came during an old job when I worked in the cosmetics industry. I ended up working in men’s grooming and the major men’s grooming issue is shaving so my boss taught me how to shave someone’s face.

Once I got past the sheer heart stopping terror that she was teaching me with a cut throat razor on many many packets of balloons and discovered that the person you are shaving actually prefers the relaxation of a safety razor, I absolutely loved it.

There was something incredibly powerful as a woman about teaching a man how to properly do something regarded as so manly. I’d literally be holding their face in my hand, brushing against them, exposing them in a myriad of ways and it was incredibly intimate without necessarily being overtly sexual.

Often it relaxed men into confiding all kinds to me, other times it made them flirt outrageously and sometimes they had to be gently coaxed not to panic and run away from me. All accompanied by the sound and feel of a razor on skin. I loved everything about it from subverting gender norms like k.d Lang and Cindy Crawford in the Nineties to actually giving useful skincare advice.

But I especially loved the power and dominance of the act. I worked a lot with city boys and investment bankers and the kind of men who are used to telling women (especially lower status ones) what to do and enjoying that sense of entitlement.

Those men act very very differently when you’ve got a razor pressed against the taut skin of their neck and that’s a dizzying sensation for twenty five year old who usually likes submission. Especially doing this in their workplace, not like the times I’d also wet shaved my boyfriend’s head several times.

So the idea of using a razor to submit rather than be in charge confused me when my Master gave me the order to shave my cunt. Maybe I’d have got my head round it quicker if he’d suggested doing it for me like this incredible piece on shaving your sub’s cunt





Smooth Shaven

John Holmes

I think we all know I like that John Holmes toy a lot. It’s gone from being a monster I could barely manage any of to my standard dildo these days and it never fails to please me or my Master when I use it.

I was aware that it’s modelled on the real life cock of legendary porn star John Holmes thanks to the booklet that comes with it when you buy it. But I had no idea his life was quite as dramatic as it was until my best friend sent me a link to this essay about him from Rolling Stone magazine the other night.

Almost as long as his cock, it’s well worth a read especially if you like good journalism or true crime. I always thought the film Boogie Nights was based on his life, but they clearly toned it down a bit to get their Oscar nominations. I can see why.

But a little trip round Google lead me to discover that John Holmes did not exactly tone it down in his porn career. Many of the clips are available on PornHub and his cock really was as eye-poppingly huge in real life as in its silicone namesake.

It’s a pity he really does look like a pervy accountant to off set a cock like that, but I was amused and surprisingly aroused by some of the porn clips. We’ll skip over the fascination with fifteen year old girls in them but they look like real people fucking for fun which is sorely missing for me in a lot of modern porn.

I don’t like that slickness with mainstream porn where each sexual act is a tick box and the orgasm is literally a money shot to sell as many clips as possible. There’s something far too brisk and business-like about a lot of porn these days. Like watching people have one night stands where they try to score sexual points rather than enjoy many perverted pleasures human bodies can combine to offer.

I like my smut more realistic than styled and enjoyed the fact the John Holmes’ clips had that amateur reality instead of professional glossiness that somehow renders sex decidedly unsexy. I do see where the unfortunate trope of bad acting in the non porn bits comes from though!

I think I’m going to find it very interesting indeed the next time I play with my John Holmes toy after that little history lesson though…

John Holmes

Still Horny

So yesterday I wrote about not having been particularly horny recently through ill health. Today my libido returned with such force I had to cross my legs while reading this amazing piece by Girl on the Net about being still and submissive.

I have managed to miss two opportunities to kneel for my Master recently by not paying enough attention to my orders and I regretted it at the time. After reading that I’m almost holding my breath with disappointment and desire thinking about being still and obedient for him.

Thinking about it reminds me why we say we are excited by sex. The urge goes as much to my stomach to create butterflies as to my cunt to create horniness. I need to make sure not to spoil an order again next time…



Still Horny

Ill Communication

I’ve been quiet for the last few weeks because I’ve been a bit under the weather and haven’t been up to writing much. Eagle eyed readers might notice this has happened before that ill health has kept me away from sex and blogging and they’d be quite right.

Since childhood I’ve suffered from a fluctuating chronic illness that causes pain and fatigue and often leaves me bed bound and unable to manage full time work and day to day life. In some ways it’s the greatest influence on my life and in other ways it’s so normal that I often forget to mention it.

I also can’t shake the idea that it’s just not very sexy. Sick beds and prescription painkillers aren’t the stuff of erotica for most people (you’ll note there’s very very little illness in all those naughty nurse role plays or medical fetish stuff.)

I also spend so much of my time dealing with symptoms and medical appointments etc that I enjoy having the break from that glum reality with the fun and fantasy of my sex life  and kink and often don’t care to mix them for my own sake of mind.

But sometimes I can’t help but allow the two aspects of my life to come together. After all I’ve been ill since before I hit puberty so I’ve never had sex without my illness in the mix and I’ve had to adapt my sexual style to allow for my limitations with pain and fatigue. I sometimes wonder if my submissiveness is borne out of that as it tends to be quite restful in its own way?

I hate to be seen defective in any way for being ill. I loathe when people make it obvious you are their worst nightmare with a serious chronic incurable autoimmune illness that no amount of exercise and good diet can protect you against. And I’ll leave it to the much missed Stella Young to explain why ‘inspiration porn‘ can fuck right off and then fuck off a bit more.

I’m also not fond though of being treated like a social outcast for being ill as if I’m not trying hard enough or not doing the ‘right’ things. Medicine and science haven’t worked out the human immune system yet (and interestingly 90% of research into it is on men’s immune systems despite 85% of all autoimmune disease sufferers being women) so there isn’t much the power of positive thinking will do to cure me or you getting huffy when I tell you yoga isn’t actually a valid option here.

I get it though. Society is weird about illness and even weirder about disability generally and it took me a long time to be able to use the word ‘disability’ in relation to myself because it’s always seen as such a negative, frightening thing or as a synonym for wheelchair user. I avoided using the word for fear of scaring people away or having them argue I wasn’t ‘properly’ disabled.

Under the Equality Act 2010 in the United Kingdom a disability is “if you have a physical or mental impairment that has a ‘substantial’ and ‘long-term’ negative effect on your ability to do normal daily activities.” It doesn’t just mean visible disabilities or the stuff you see in the Paralympics and it’s possible for people to have the same condition and have a varying level of disability from it.

This why your Great Aunt Doris’ neighbour’s cousin was cured of the same thing by the power of prayer and a multivitamin and someone else needs to give up work because of it. People are different and many conditions also fluctuate or are progressive with age.

Which is why I’m absolutely certain no one who reads this blog would have looked at those photos of me with a butternut squash up my cunt and thought I was disabled. Being ill is pretty much the only thing that stops me being horny and even then sometimes it doesn’t completely stop me so while I’m sleeping all the time, I have orgasms during my naps.

I used to find it deeply frustrating not to be well enough to fuck all the time but now I think it might be a safety feature to protect my cunt from breaking itself from over use. My Master summed it up well recently when he said my body could be incredibly frustrating sometimes, but also capable of some quite wonderful things at the same time.

It’s quite fitting that the first man I’ve ever actually told about being ill when I met him should sum up the very nature of disability so well…

Ill Communication