Size Me Up

My Master has a friend of a friend who is always referred to as the guy whose cock is the size of two cans of Coke and it always makes wonder if a) it’s true, b) how they all know and c) just how big that really is in real life.

Because the thing is that my Master’s patient stretching of me over the last few years has completely distorted my reality of sizes and dimensions. Uberkinky sent me a mail out about National Orgasm Day and a link to their page of huge dildos this week and I obviously scrolled through and very few of them seemed that big to me.

In fact a few seemed, if you’ll pardon the pun, to be stretching the definition of a huge dildo somewhat (especially if you are putting them in your cunt not your ass.) Which is how I came to be testing the theory of just how big two cans of Coke is on a Friday night.

two cans

Turns out it’s exactly the same size as the John Holmes toy which is my standard dildo these days. I shouldn’t have doubted my Master’s mathematical abilities when he told me that recently.

Hopefully I can make my disobedience up to him by getting his permission to play with the cans of the very appropriately named Ting again…?

Size Me Up

Night Out

I do rather enjoy socialising with my Master and Princess out in the public realm. This is mainly because I enjoy their company immensely but also because of the opportunities it creates.

My Master and Princess invited me for drinks on Saturday night with a mutual friend of ours and once the niceties of times and places were established, unsurprisingly my Master had orders for me.

I was to dress to show off my waist and tits and I was allowed to surprise him I wanted. I would also need to wear something where I could kneel down to suck his cock in the toilets while we were out.

I haven’t had much chance to get dressed up recently so I almost couldn’t think what to wear but luckily Princess reminded me that I own a ridiculously short skirt that would give me a chance to wear the thigh high boots I bought a few weeks ago.

I teamed both with a very tight top and the waist trainer and went to do my make up. I couldn’t understand why there was glitter on a top I’d never worn before and it kept distracting me in the mirror until I realised it was that it was so tight across my bare tits, the ball of my nipple piercings were showing through.

Reluctantly I added the sheerest bra I own as even by Candi’s standards that’s a little much for Saturday night in the pub especially since I’m supposed to only know my Master and Princess relatively casually.

Luckily our mutual friend is a nice but massively unobservant man so short of my Master making me kneel down in front of him, he’s unlikely to pick up the dynamic between the three of us.

This does allow for some ridiculous humour when discussing sex over a few drinks. Said friend is rumoured to be extremely well endowed and conservation almost always turns to his cock at some point in the night.

This time was a game of comparison with other phallic objects. He giggled at the idea of cucumbers and plantain for size and girth and bemoaned the trope of the aubergine emoji as the international symbol for a cock because who has ever actually heard of someone fucking an aubergine?

I was very careful not to meet my Master’s eye across the table while he and our friend laughed about other over the top items you could fuck yourself with. Coke cans came up, making me bite my lip and then there was much amusement about the improbability of a butternut squash being a sex toy.

(I Googled ‘fucking a butternut squash’ while writing this just out of curiosity. I’m amused to see how many food bloggers who think they are being a bit edgy by swearing come up in the search just under a man with his cock inside a squash.)

Luckily before I actually started to squirm (or blush) at the table, my Master offered to get another round in and as he passed, told me to check my phone. I didn’t need telling twice to follow Princess into the toilets while he was at the bar and make her come with the sex toy he had ordered me to bring…


Night Out

Weekend Treat

To celebrate a fantastic first week on Clips 4 Sale, I’ve just posted a video of Candi with a can of Coke in her cunt. I know most people tend to be more about the alcoholic drinks on a Friday night, but I suspect you’ll quite enjoy this sweet treat instead.

I’m also prepping for another shoot tomorrow and I seem to be living up to Candi’s name by hoping to get a sugar rush as well as an orgasm or two with a 500ml can of energy drink in my cunt for the first time. Sadly I couldn’t find a can of Pussy anywhere.

Maybe if I write to them and tell them what I plan to do with it, they’ll sponsor me though…?

Weekend Treat

Full and Fizzing

Now that I’ve taken that can of Coke, I never want to play with anything else. This was the first video I filmed for the blog in front of another person.

Not only does someone else manning the camera mean I have both hands free for more filth, it gives me a taster of what it’s like to perform for people.

Turns out I like it enough that I’ve just opened a store on Clips4Sale to start putting my videos up there regularly…

Full and Fizzing

What a Day!

I was a little apprehensive about performing on camera (while someone else held it) for the first time, but today’s shoot was so much fun I wished it had gone on twice as long as it did.

They say no one likes a show off but I think when it’s your cunt that likes to show off, people make exceptions. Especially when they get to see the evidence of it.

I particularly enjoyed discovering that my trick of female ejaculation wasn’t a one off and that it was captured on camera today more than once.

Water bottles, aubergines, Coke cans, dildos, pighole, fist toy, butternut squashes. I lost count of how many things I played with today. Turns out being dressed up completely in rubber really does turn me into a sex toy…



What a Day!

Getting Ready

Today is a day of anticipation. Tomorrow Candi’s doing her first shoot with long video clips and photos planned.

So today involves deciding both what to wear and what to fuck myself with on camera. I’m looking forward to showing my Master the latex catsuit and the pighole in full rubber sex toy glory.

But what else to try? I think now that I’ve mastered the Coke can again, it’ll have to make an appearance (or hide away depending on your viewpoint). And it would be a shame not to use the butternut squash. Or the fist toy. Or the big dildo. Or? Or? Or…?



Getting Ready

Yes I Can

I’ve been struggling to take the Coke can again and I’m not sure why. It’s no bigger or heavier than the mango but it’s been defeating me every time I’ve tried.

I really do hate to fail so last night I went to bed early with it and a new kind of lube and a determination to take it completely.

And I’m not sure if it was the lube or not but this time I managed to take the can repeatedly, managing to fill my cunt up with it so much that you couldn’t even see it inside me.

I do like this little sneak peek of the ring pull though…

coke can 16:02

Yes I Can