Night Out

I do rather enjoy socialising with my Master and Princess out in the public realm. This is mainly because I enjoy their company immensely but also because of the opportunities it creates.

My Master and Princess invited me for drinks on Saturday night with a mutual friend of ours and once the niceties of times and places were established, unsurprisingly my Master had orders for me.

I was to dress to show off my waist and tits and I was allowed to surprise him I wanted. I would also need to wear something where I could kneel down to suck his cock in the toilets while we were out.

I haven’t had much chance to get dressed up recently so I almost couldn’t think what to wear but luckily Princess reminded me that I own a ridiculously short skirt that would give me a chance to wear the thigh high boots I bought a few weeks ago.

I teamed both with a very tight top and the waist trainer and went to do my make up. I couldn’t understand why there was glitter on a top I’d never worn before and it kept distracting me in the mirror until I realised it was that it was so tight across my bare tits, the ball of my nipple piercings were showing through.

Reluctantly I added the sheerest bra I own as even by Candi’s standards that’s a little much for Saturday night in the pub especially since I’m supposed to only know my Master and Princess relatively casually.

Luckily our mutual friend is a nice but massively unobservant man so short of my Master making me kneel down in front of him, he’s unlikely to pick up the dynamic between the three of us.

This does allow for some ridiculous humour when discussing sex over a few drinks. Said friend is rumoured to be extremely well endowed and conservation almost always turns to his cock at some point in the night.

This time was a game of comparison with other phallic objects. He giggled at the idea of cucumbers and plantain for size and girth and bemoaned the trope of the aubergine emoji as the international symbol for a cock because who has ever actually heard of someone fucking an aubergine?

I was very careful not to meet my Master’s eye across the table while he and our friend laughed about other over the top items you could fuck yourself with. Coke cans came up, making me bite my lip and then there was much amusement about the improbability of a butternut squash being a sex toy.

(I Googled ‘fucking a butternut squash’ while writing this just out of curiosity. I’m amused to see how many food bloggers who think they are being a bit edgy by swearing come up in the search just under a man with his cock inside a squash.)

Luckily before I actually started to squirm (or blush) at the table, my Master offered to get another round in and as he passed, told me to check my phone. I didn’t need telling twice to follow Princess into the toilets while he was at the bar and make her come with the sex toy he had ordered me to bring…


Night Out

What a Day!

I was a little apprehensive about performing on camera (while someone else held it) for the first time, but today’s shoot was so much fun I wished it had gone on twice as long as it did.

They say no one likes a show off but I think when it’s your cunt that likes to show off, people make exceptions. Especially when they get to see the evidence of it.

I particularly enjoyed discovering that my trick of female ejaculation wasn’t a one off and that it was captured on camera today more than once.

Water bottles, aubergines, Coke cans, dildos, pighole, fist toy, butternut squashes. I lost count of how many things I played with today. Turns out being dressed up completely in rubber really does turn me into a sex toy…



What a Day!


My favourite new toy is a butternut squash. It may not have given me the orgasm of an aubergine yet but they last longer and come in a variety of sizes so you always have something handy to stretch your cunt to what you think is capacity, only to discover it goes a little further each time.

After warming up with an unusally shaped bottle of water, my pussy was ready to be pushed. (In fact, I should have really warmed it up with heated water in that bottle for a little temperature play.) Time to see if I could take my smaller squash more easily than the first time.

I sat astride it and lowered myself onto it and it slipped in so easily I was almost disappointed by the lack of challenge. I lifted myself up and pushed further down onto the bulb of it so I was taking it much much deeper than last time.

deep squash

I loved seeing the lips of cunt looking completely pushed apart by the base of the squash and couldn’t resist allowing myself to slide up and down the length of it a few times to get the feel of the smooth smooth skin and the jolt of being pushed open each time I hit the base of it. I could feel it pressing in all the places that might make me squirt and definitely come if I kept that up.

Instead of succumbing to temptation to fuck myself to orgasm on the small squash, I wanted to see if I could take any of the monster one. I’d forgotten to lop the stalk off so I lubed it a little more and knelt over it and lowered myself onto it.

monster squash

It felt immovable for a second or two and then I felt the softness of my cunt meet the coldness of the squash skin come together and my cunt start to give slightly, slipping further down in mere millimeters until about an inch and a half of the squash was buried inside me and I felt like I was being split open.

It was the oddest mixture of slightly unpleasant, slightly enjoyable and completely addictive. I just wanted to stay there and see what happened and how much more I could take if I was patient. Never have millimetres mattered so much. But the stalk was starting to make its presence felt and I decided not to push my luck.

I wouldn’t want to let anything get in the way of trying that again…

monster squash gape




Better Butternut Squash

3x squash

On the way back from the Barbican the other night, I decided to call into Waitrose and see if the tip I’d been given about organic butternut squashes being bigger was true.

And even if it wasn’t, I’d enjoy the amusement of comparing the size of root vegetables in a supermarket while dressed in latex stockings on a Saturday night. I mean I could just be getting something to go with the Sunday roast on the way home, but no harm in making minds wander along the way.

I was sure the Duchy Organics butternut squashes were a bit bigger than the one I’d bought and fucked myself with recently so I enjoyed taking it to the self service till before bringing it home to compare.


Turns out as my cunt gets bigger so do my eyes because when I compared the two, there was a marked difference in size. Yet this time I was thinking it would be quite manageable with a little practice. After all I couldn’t take more than three fingers this time last year.

Maybe I don’t learn as slowly as I think I do…

Better Butternut Squash