Base Urges

I enjoyed my Master’s texture challenge the other night even if it was less show and tell and more hide and seek inside my cunt at the time. It was interesting to focus on a different kind of feeling for once when masturbating and concentrate on tactile sensations rather than just the sensation of fullness.

This different focus kept me on my toes nicely to stop myself falling into my old bad habit of rushing orgasms when I masturbate so they don’t really satisfy me properly. Like snacking mouthfuls as you pass the fridge fills your stomach up but doesn’t engage or satiate your brain’s hunger, my tendency to come almost for the sake of it is wasteful.

That kind of functional orgasm does nothing for me. It doesn’t turn me on, it doesn’t help me sleep and it gives my sex drive the same sickly feel as eating too many sweets or snacks between meals. In a long term relationship that makes me as bratty as I’m ever likely to get but in my single days it lead to impulsive sexual decisions like being hopped up on sugar or food colourings from eating junk food.

One of the first things my Master did when he started training me was to regulate this tendency teaching to slow down and savour masturbating so I really got to know my body and feel the orgasms instead of the equivalent of bolting down the main course to get to dessert.

It really worked to focus me on his dominance and not my own flights of sexual fancy and  without being taught to pace myself and be less sexually superficial I would not have been able to submit to my Master properly or stretch myself as much as I have been. Psychologically I’d have lost my nerve if I’d rushed and physically it’s not a good idea to mix haste and large objects.

I haven’t been able to fuck properly for what feels like forever recently. First I was ill. Then that bout of bacterial vaginosis and the the antibiotics I took for it really knocked my cunt off course with it taking ages to get back to normal levels of lubrication. Then life has got in the way of seeing my Master or Princess to actually fuck and if that wasn’t annoying enough, my cunt now has thrush from the antibiotics. My body feels like one of those over stimulated toddlers that needs to sleep but forces itself to stay awake even though it’s miserable.

Some people just get really obviously horny when they go without sex. You know the kind that starts humping the furniture without totally noticing they are doing it? Other people use all that untapped energy to motivate them into other non sexual things like going running to burn off the frustration.

I get irritable and oddly un-sexual despite being incredibly frustrated and horny. It’s like if I don’t have sex I know I’m missing out on something but lose the ability to read the cue and just get grumpy and wound up emotionally while my cunt forgets to connect to my mind. I can’t tell if I’m tired, hungry, thirsty or horny until I’m reminded obviously like someone offers me a cup of tea or tells me to get on my knees for them.

I’m not sure why I’m so bad at translating my own bodily urges but it’s like I need constant reminders to work those almost primal muscles so they stay fit and active. I don’t really understand why my body’s response to a lack of things like food and sex in my day to life is to go into hibernation mode to wait out some kind of famine rather than actively seek out things that are essential bodily needs.

But I end up irritated and out of sorts but without the focus that I’m hungry or horny and need to go and do something about it. Instead I annoy myself with my bad mood and hope someone will offer me a sandwich or a threesome and then my brain finally makes the connection and starts communicating with my cunt or my stomach.

I’m in this stage at the moment but with the added frustration that my cunt is attention seeking in all the wrong ways and not welcoming the feeling of getting fucked. It’s like realising you are starving hungry and then discovering you can’t taste anything because you’ve got the cold.

If my body is forcing me to slow down so much my mind is starting to run away with itself  with ideas of submission to balance it out. I think I might have to ask my Master if he has any ways I can actively submit to him to keep me engaged but not likely to do something ill advised like fuck myself too soon out of frustration.

Only problem is that suddenly everything on that menu looks appetising to me. Now I know why women let men order for them…

Base Urges

Texture

Is there anything more disappointing than a dodgy dildo? I haven’t had the chance to play with the monster my Master bought me for my birthday because there’s a problem with the texture of it. I’m not sure if it’s a fault with the toy itself or the way it’s been stored in the packaging before being sent out.

But it’s not safe to be near my cunt right now sadly so to make it up to me (especially after the awkwardness of taking a two foot long dildo to the Post Office) my Master set me a little challenge. I was to take three toys and compare the textures of them in my cunt before coming round each of them.

It wasn’t about length or girth this time per se but about touch and texture instead so I used it as an excuse to delve deep into my toy box and compare and contrast to make my choices. Although it says a lot that my first stop was actually the fridge for my beloved glass dildo chilled to perfection under the emergency bar of chocolate to start me off.

I love the feel of that glass toy. One side is dimpled and the other is swirled and curled and the toy works best with extremes of temperature. I slid the cool dimpled end inside me and enjoyed the fact that glass is by it’s very nature incredibly firm and inflexible. It’s like the hardest cock possible and that over the top-ness makes it feel so much a like a toy all for the pleasure of playing with.

The unyielding texture of the toy actually works with your cunt more than you’d expect. The cool feel allows the heat of my cunt to transfer to it and the rigidity allows the soft wetness to contrast with it so the toy slides in and out gracefully and gloriously as I fuck myself deeply and steadily with it. The little clink as it slips in as far as possible and skims across the metallic piercing in my swollen clit always pushes me over the edge into an orgasm.

In contrast my next toy was a new experience for me. A little purple jelly vibrator designed to work like a rabbit with clit stimulation, it came free with a Lovehoney order and I’ve never used it on me. Princess responded well to it but it was unchartered territory for my current cunt.

My first ever sex toy was a gift from a friend in that stereotypical pink glittery jelly and I never warmed to it abandoning it quite quickly to go back to using my hand. This was the first time I’d revisited the texture and I suspect it’ll be the last. There’s something about the sticky squishiness of jelly toys that causes my cunt to shrink away from them and considering how tiny this toy is by my standards that’s a very bad thing.

It did not slip inside me anywhere as easily as the glass toy. No glide, more stopping and starting like trying to learn to use the clutch pedal on your first driving lesson than getting fucked. The texture seemed to suck the moisture from my cunt with the wrong kind of friction for fun.

Adding the vibrations didn’t help much. I’m used to the jumbo jet style roar and reverberation of the Doxy and this was more like someone sneezing on my clit instead. Like many starter style sex toys, it has a lot of functions and less impact cycling through all kinds of whispers of vibration that never quite go anywhere. Especially when half the settings seem to involve that on-off buzz pattern that builds to pleasure before dying away in frustration.

I haven’t worked that hard for an orgasm in years with the soft little toy feeling limp and damp inside and against me definitely not filling me up or fulfilling the promise of vibrations. I haven’t felt anything that half hearted near my cunt since I stopped fucking straight men and my orgasm was more like a defiant fuck you to the clammy fumbling toy than actual pleasure.

I was very pleased I’d kept my eternal favourite pink G spot toy from Lovehoney for the finale. Bought as a  substitute for the much more expensive Jopen Comet G spot toy I couldn’t justify spending so much money on, this toy has given me more pleasure than I ever imagined. Made of smooth sleek silicone, I’ve used it in my ass and my cunt and loved it in both.

It has the slight tackiness of silicone that goes with lubrication like salt goes with pepper to compliment and enhance each other and this toy just feels like it comes home in my cunt. Not as rigid as the glass and not as languid as the jelly toy, it feels more like the hardness of an actual cock and my cunt is definitely on home turf with that feel.

Silicone doesn’t seem to absorb heat the same way but it loves lube making it slick and sleek inside you to make sure the toy really builds up good friction against the slightly raised swollen spongy feel of my G spot when I’m really turned on. It butts against it but slips just enough to give a twisting motion that always makes me come so hard I feel like I might squirt as well. And last night was no difference.

I lay back after my third consecutive orgasm and tried to decide which toy was my favourite. I love that clean cool feel of glass and never tire of playing with it but the pink toy just works for me getting me turned on and fucked to orgasm every single time with the least effort. And it’s not just good with myself, both my Master and Princess can use it on me to incredible results too.

I think I might be a silicone slut but Sir has set me another three toys to play with tonight too so who knows…?

 

Texture

Extreme

I’ve been enjoying recounting some of my old sex stories recently even if it’s been mildly embarrassing to realise what dubious taste in men younger me had. But I thought this week I’d treat you all to a tale of a decent guy for once.

I have never understood that line about men being more visual than women because trust me all the women I know have a finely honed sense of spotting someone they find hot at a hundred paces. It explains why we all bought so many women’s magazines in our teens to eye up the hot men (and maybe the women too.)

That’s where I spotted him first. A shared copy of a magazine with some friends on an article about the growing interest in extreme sports in the UK. In amongst the fellas with their trousers barely clinging to their arse, he looked more normal as well as the kind of good looking that turns your head.

I could see why the interview featured him so prominently as he had model looks combined with that air of pure filth. He was hands down the best looking man I’d ever seen. I bought a copy of the magazine on the way home from my friend’s house and developed an interest in extreme sports all of a sudden.

This turned out to be an excellent choice on my part. Not only is there quite a skill to admire in chucking yourself round on a BMX bike or skateboard, but it also does incredible things to a man’s arse. Which is how I found myself several years later sitting on a kerb watching men throw themselves at a ridiculously high ramp for fun when who should appear out of nowhere?

I thought I was hallucinating (or had died and gone to heaven) when he walked directly towards me and handed me two tickets for the after show party later before winking and walked off again. I nearly lost my balance on that kerb and definitely lost my cool when everyone stared at me and started trying to invite themselves along with me later. Men that good looking do not come along often.

Which made it ironic that I couldn’t bloody find him later at the party. I had to spend a lot of valuable time chatting to other men about ollies and half pipes and bike brakes like I actually gave a fuck and wasn’t just there to find the ridiculously good looking man who’d been on my mind for two years.

By the time the lights went up at the end of the night he was still missing in action and I was convinced I’d imagined meeting him earlier like some kind of handsome apparition. And then just as I went outside to hail a cab he appeared out of nowhere. I immediately forgot the cab and accepted his offer of a drink back at his hotel as I left to all eyes on me with the good looking stranger from out of town.

We bypassed the bar back at the hotel and went straight to his room instead, piling through the door like a movie cliche kissing each other frantically, pulling at clothes to get naked and falling onto the bed to fuck as quickly as possible. He had a body to match his beautiful face and the hotel had the kind of panoramic view over the city below that goes to your head.

I was on top of him in no time staring down at him and riding his cock lit only by the lights outside as he fucked me stupid that way so few men can do when you’re astride them. All too often men lie flat with their hips pressed to the bed making you do all the work in an awkward way that always made being on top the only way penetration didn’t make me come.

But this guy fucked me like nothing else I’d encountered. That well muscled arse and legs from all those extreme sports led to some very extreme fucking where he seemed to lift me off the bed with his cock so that I had to tip my body forward to stay on and pressed my clit and cunt against him making me come repeatedly in a way that I didn’t know was possible on top until then.

I’d lost count of how many times I’d come before he practically fucked me flat onto my back with the intensity of his own orgasm. We collapsed onto the bed in that breathless giddy well fucked way that feels like floating on air. I was about thank him for the amazing sex when we both jumped about ten feet in the air as someone’s voice said ‘oh you’re finished. I thought that would never end’.

It turned out that in our haste to fuck, neither of us had noticed that his room-mate was there sleeping in the room’s other bed until our enthusiastic fucking had woken him up and given him a full floor show. I was too orgasmed out to care that he had witnessed the whole thing and appreciated that at this point he took himself off to meet other people in the bar so we could carry on.

And carry on we did. Not only did we fuck again that night, we continued to fuck on and off for the next five years despite never living in the same city once and not exchanging contact details for the first two years. We just had a knack of bumping into each other around the UK and Ireland and falling into bed together every time, even once hiring a room by the hour to fuck before his train left London.

We eventially ended up dating properly for a year although we were much less successful at that than being fuck buddies. He remained the only man ever to make me come from being on top until I met my Master and I admit I was almost tempted to meet up for old times’ sake when he friended me on Facebook last year.

But I wasn’t surprised when he mentioned his friend had asked after me after all that time….

Extreme

High And Dry

Just before you think my whole life is non stop sex and kinky excitement day to day, I’m here to remind you it’s actually much more every day than you think. In fact the only thing I’m particularly sharing with my Master and Princess right now is that my cunt has gone a bit weird.

And the downside of sex with another woman is that if one cunt goes weird, the other is likely to go weird too and you end up texting each other some very strange Google links about bodily functions you didn’t know you could do.

A quick trip to the the proper doctor rather than just Dr Google tells me I’ve probably got bacterial vaginosis which isn’t really an STI but is very easily passed from one cunt to another if you’re fucking another woman. It’s when the natural bacterial balance of your cunt goes a bit awry and you end up with a low level infection.

I’m not sure if I got it first or Princess did but we’ve ended up with matching symptoms and two different styles of antibiotics to sort it. She went for the oral version and I opted for the vaginal version in a gel. Both of us needed seven days treatment and hopefully problem solved.

Most of my symptoms are now gone except that the antibiotics have left their own annoyance. Basically they’ve killed off the good bacteria as well so suddenly I’ve got no sign of life going on and I’m completely dry no matter how much I get turned on. And it’s bizarre.

I’m so used to my body and mind working together to present a united front when I’m horny that it’s confusing and disappointing when my brain is turned on and I can feel the sexual sensations in my cunt such as my clit swelling and everything tingling and wanting to be touched, but I’m still completely dry.

I know different people’s levels of lubrication varies and illnesses, medications, hormones and stressors can affect it from one time to another but for me the only things that tend to impact me are too much booze or not really wanting to fuck. No matter how much my brain is telling me to be sexual, my cunt knows the truth and I’ve always relied on it as a sensible big sister to stop me fucking for the sake of it by listening to the evidence it’s giving me.

So not being able to get wet at all for my Master last night with the John Holmes toy even with lube or spending the day with Princess after my birthday and feeling like my cunt is hibernating while the rest of me is so ready for sex is actually quite distressing. Logically I know it’s the effects of the antibiotics but I associate lack of wetness with not fancying someone and I hate even briefly having that link with my Master and Princess in my mind.

Like anything else you take for granted, you don’t fully appreciate it until you don’t have it anymore and I hadn’t realised how much I associated the mental thoughts of sexual arousal with the feeling of getting wet until now. I can still come from lots of stimulation on my clit but the orgasms aren’t as good. It’s like eating when you have the cold and you still enjoy your dinner but without your sense of smell and taste together it’s not the same. I’m like Samson with a short back and sides.

I’m trying to see it as a chance to try other things, almost like a prolonged feeling of those ruined orgasms my Master used to train me with to hone my submissiveness and stop me gorging myself on coming and then being too lazy for orders. It’s also teaching me to appreciate different types of touch without my cunt clamouring for all the attention.

If it takes a while to resolve it might be a good time for Sir to start spanking me again or playing with those beeswax candles or some hardcore wax play before I suck his cock. The thought of my own cunt ruining orgasms into submissiveness for me is almost hot but I’m still greedy essentially and would rather have the option to let my cunt be fully used too…

High And Dry

Self Love

When Princess had things to celebrate this week and Sir wanted to mark the occasion with a little gift there was only one thing it could be. A beautiful glossy die cast Doxy all to herself. No more begging and borrowing mine as reward for good behaviour but her very own toy any time she wants.

She almost succumbed to the temptation to use it then and there before dinner but she delayed the gratification which impressed my Master (and me) no end. It does mean we get to try my Master’s idea of blindfolding her and seeing if she can tell the difference between my Doxy and the die cast version to prove her wand slut credentials once and for all.

But it also made think how different Princess and I are when it comes to masturbation. She loves it as much as fucking, treating it variously as pure enjoyment, self care and foreplay on a regular basis to the point I can almost always guess when she might be masturbating when she’s alone (although she usually surprises me with the number of times she manages to make herself come.)

I, on the other hand, very rarely masturbate especially for myself. I do enjoy masturbation when it is part of my training and submission to my Master or to prepare me for Princess. But I honestly can’t remember the last time I masturbated on my own terms. This is isn’t just because I’m so obedient to Sir’s orders but because it’s never really been my thing.

Before I started actually fucking I did masturbate to distract me from incredibly ridiculously horny all the time I felt as a teenager. I’d probably have done a lot better in my maths GCSE if I hadn’t spent as much time playing with myself when I should have been revising but as soon as I discovered cock in real life masturbation very much fell out of fashion in my world.

Given the choice between making myself come or finding a cock that could, I always picked the cock even if it meant getting dressed, going out and listening to a lot of small talk along the way. Maybe it was laziness or the lack of sex toys in my life at the time but I never looked forward to masturbation as an event in itself.

Even now it seems like second or third best to me and I can’t imagine just masturbating because I’ve got twenty minutes spare or need to get to sleep or had a stressful day. Instead of switching my brain off to concentrate on myself like that, it seems to send me more into myself in an unhelpful way and I find it surprisingly difficult to let go into an orgasm.

Focusing on someone else however relaxes my mind and my cunt completely and makes masturbation into something else entirely. Kind of a combination of enjoyment, performance and pleasure that really turns me on because it gives the other person the opportunity to masturbate too.

There’s something utterly glorious about that thought that makes my stomach pinch in pleasure and my cunt stretch open in anticipation. It’s my kind of audience and knowing I’ve got the feedback of turning someone else switches my brain off and turns me on like nothing else.

Maybe I just need to start asking my Master for permission to play more often and see if I can time it to when Princess is using her new Doxy since that won’t be as infrequent as I am….

Self Love

Orgasms

I am slightly preoccupied with orgasms at the moment. One of the cruellest tricks my body plays when I’m having a relapse is that it can’t cope with exertion without tipping me into pain and fatigue and having to curl up in bed waiting for the day to be over.

Sometimes this is the exertion of using my brain like working all day. But mainly it’s physical exertion such as exercise or anything else that raises my heart rate past a certain point. Which infuriatingly makes orgasms as potentially risky to my health as running for the bus.

So I’m rationing orgasms at the moment and it’s mainly proving that if you deny yourself something it’s all you can think about it. I’ve been dreaming about them but managing to wake myself up before I actually have an orgasm in my sleep. I’ve been picturing giving Princess orgasms while we were sitting on the sofa chatting yesterday. I’ve had to hide my Doxy under my bed to stop it from giving me ideas.

It’s incredibly distracting so to try and make a virtue of this preoccupation I’ve been revisiting favourite or memorable orgasms I’ve had. Somewhat unusually I can’t remember my first orgasm either by myself or with someone else but over the last few years plenty of orgasms have stood out for me.

When I first started fucking my Master I was used to sex with men that involved them having their orgasm first and then giving me an orgasm almost as an afterthought like well brought up people say ‘thank you for having me’ automatically after being invited somewhere even if they don’t mean it. These orgasms were on a tit for tat basis of one for you, one for me like the world would end if someone had more pleasure than another.

This is partly testament to my taste in men (which isn’t something I’d write home about) but also the way we talk about sex as something done to women rather than with women and framed as what men expect rather than what women need so that women’s orgasms and pleasure are seen as incidental to how you can ‘drive hime wild’ or ‘keep your man.’ Add in our goal oriented culture with everything being reduced to tick boxes and to do lists and orgasms become some kind of destination instead of the journey.

My Master isn’t like that at all and it confused me so much the first time we fucked that I actually fought against it until I was sure he was really enjoying concentrating on my pleasure and giving me orgasms not stacking up some kind of sexual debt I had to pay off in return.

Since then I’ve become slightly spoilt by how many orgasms he (and Princess) has given me and also extremely appreciative that they both encourage me to be greedy for them. It’s been notable how my orgasms have physically changed in that time too. Not only have they grown in intensity, but I’m more aware of the different ways I can orgasm now.

I used to have concentrate incredibly hard to be able to come like if I didn’t keep my eye on the prize the whole way, it would elude me and that orgasm would feel like a full stop to events. Now my orgasms in person come more easily and they feel like commas linking each action together so that I can come multiple times and still want more.

Different actions and sensations lead to different kinds of orgasms too. The feeling of an orgasm when my Master uses his whole fist in my cunt is like the giddy abandon of when you’d twirl round and round until dizzy as a child before letting go and feeling you could fly for a second before immediately wanting to do it again.

And when Princess gets me up on my knees and strokes either side of my clit with two fingers and makes me squirt all over the bed my orgasm is in two stages. The first moment of cold liquid squirting from my cunt making way for the warm floaty feeling of pleasure rushing up from my toes to my mind.

Putting the Doxy deep inside my cunt makes me ejaculate almost the same way as a man so that my orgasm sneaks up on me and I lose control of my senses and my cunt momentarily glad to see the evidence that I’m still with the world. These orgasms are the kind that tend to tip my body over its threshold and mainly occur when I’m on my own or my Master is pushing me to breaking point.

Something about another person there seems to keep me grounded and my body behaving so now I’m wondering if two people in the form of a threesome would be practically medicinal…?

 

Orgasms

A Little Buzz

I know I said I’d been having a bad patch recently but when my Master messaged me at the weekend asking what I was up to I decided it was worth exhausting myself to see what he had in mind. I hadn’t had an orgasm since I’d last fucked him a few weeks ago and I’d spent to night before face first in Princess making me incredibly horny.

Knowing I need a little help at the moment, he ordered me to use the Doxy but this time instead of simply sliding it into my stretched cunt and lying back I was to ride it like a cock. Seeing as my Master was the man to convert me to fucking on top after years of those men who lie there immobile while you fuck him til your thighs burn only for them to stop straight after they come, my ears pricked up at this order.

I liked the idea of seeing how much deeper I could take the Doxy this way and practising leaning into the power of its vibrations and finding out how holding still versus fucking myself against it worked. But my Master never likes to let me go at my own pace.

Even when I’m masturbating I have to prove my submission to him by focusing my pleasure to his orders and enjoyment. To some people that might sound constricting but to me it literally opens me up both physically and mentally. Submission to his domination is an immediate turn on for me even if he isn’t physically present.

He had me slide the Doxy into me and slide it in and out of my cunt slowly and steadily on the lowest setting for ten minutes making sure I didn’t come under any circumstances. I felt a little bit tight by my standards but some generous lube had the toy slipping inside and feeling myself actually stretch open in the process.

I love that feeling more than anything else as my cunt literally comes to life wrapping itself around a huge toy or Sir’s cock or Princess’s fingers. It’s like a moment of sexual energy that brings the horny feelings in my mind and body together and turns thoughts into intentions. As soon that sensation happens I know my body is working with me and it’s going to be pure pleasure.

I started myself off gently running the Doxy for a minute stationary in my cunt feeling that shiver and shudder of getting turned on and then I started sliding the toy in and out, pushing it in as deeply as comfortable and pulling it out so that the widest point stretched me wide to the point of pleasure-pain.

It didn’t feel like ten minutes as time stood still while I was so focused on the sheer enjoyment so it’s just as well my Master texted me at exactly ten minutes to remind me that I needed to pay attention to my orders. I was up on my knees, rocking against the Doxy like a huge cock almost instantly.

I turned the speed up just as my cunt got greedy before stopping and staying still so that the toy and the vibrations filled me up. It felt so good I had to put my hands on the bed to steady me and seeing the wand moving in my cunt with only my muscles holding it place made me want more.

Sir had given me orders to come three times around the Doxy without switching it off or stopping. The first came as I put it on full speed and leaned into it brushing my fingers across my clit piercing exploding into an orgasm so intense I couldn’t tell if it was lube or me ejaculating dripping down the toy.

Riding the Doxy

The second orgasm was still on my knees pushing against the Doxy and pulling it out my cunt to that widest point that makes me feel filled and fulfilled in equal measure. It was so strong the bed seemed to tilt as I went a bit wobbly with intensity. The third orgasm came easily was I rolled onto my back and my legs pulled up into the air with the toy buried as far as possible in my exhausted cunt.

No sooner had I lifted my phone to thank my Master for the orgasms and describe them to him than he pushed me further by changing the order to five orgasms without switching the wand off. There was no chance in hell I could have taken another moment of those vibrations let alone another orgasm.

All I could do was lie back with the Doxy on my thighs feelings the muscles in both my legs and my cunt twitch in exhaustion and pleasure feeling utterly fucked…

A Little Buzz