A Real Buzz

I like to think all my fears in life are completely rational. The Tory government, abandonment, stepping on the cracks on the pavement, all the usuals. But really I am lying to myself because my greatest fear in life is wasps. Which is completely irrational since they are small, I’ve never been stung and like the rest of wildlife in the UK they can’t kill you unless you have an allergy.

But I am terrified of them (and by extension bees because when I’m running in the opposite direction at hysterical speed they look like they might be wasps) and I even had hypnotherapy to deal with my phobia of them. I can just about tolerate them in their outside environment but in my indoor space, the freak out continues.

This generally makes me not a fan of summer. All that sun and sticky drinks are usually bad omens for my ability not to look like an arm flapping lunatic around people. But age must be mellowing me because I spent the evening with my Master and Princess on Friday with the windows open to embrace the warm weather and drinking a few ciders and not watching the window like a hawk.

So we were all in the perfect mood to have an impromptu threesome next morning. My Master hadn’t seen the pussy pump in person yet so it seemed a good time to use it on Princess as she sucked Sir’s cock. She squirmed with each pleasure-pain pump of it and each stinging slap of the paddle I was using on her bare ass too.

Her cunt was swollen and dripping wet and her eyes got that glazed look of horniness where all she wants is orgasms. Sir kept his cock in her mouth and slipped  two fingers into her cunt and one in her ass and brought her to the kind of writing gasping state of orgasms where you want to keep sucking cock but your mouth just falls open with pleasure and all you can do keep gasping in enjoyment and for a hard cock resting on your lips unable to do more.

Having left her in that state of sated but waiting more Sir started fucking her ass while I put a finger inside her. The feel of his cock in her ass determined the pace at which I fucked her cunt as we both filled her up and worked in tandem to turn her into a begging mess of horniness. Greedy slut that she is she asked for the Doxy as well and she came dripping my Master’s come out her ass and they both slumped on the bed looking very content.

I was incredibly wet from watching them fuck and Sir knew it, telling me to put the pump on my cunt for him so he could see the piercing in my clit rising and falling with each time he sucked the pump tighter on my cunt. I’ve enjoyed playing with that toy on my own but someone else dictating the pace made me ridiculously horny.

So when Sir ordered Princess to play with my clit while he watched, all I could do was lie back, eyes closed only aware of the work her fingers and tongue were doing. I came several times before the kind of final orgasm that lifts your whole body off the bed and made me feel like I would squirt from so much sensation and sexual pleasure.

It’s taken me a while to get the hang of just enjoying being fucked without feeling like I ‘owe’ someone pleasure in return. The fear of being bad in bed or a pillow princess made me often unable to relax in simply receiving pleasure and believing the person giving it was enjoying it as much as I enjoy giving my partner pleasure.

Lying in bed in a just fucked heap after our threesome I discovered just how far my ability to relax has come when my Master told me a wasp had flown into the bedroom while Princess was fucking me, done a loop of the room round us, gone back out and then returned for a second sweep all without me noticing. In fact I’d managed to orgasm while it was buzzing around.

I imagined Princess and my Master looking at each other thinking ‘fuck, sex is over if she sees this’ and then laughing at how much they must have been trying not giggle or draw attention to the interloper in the room.

I’ve rarely felt sluttier or more bisexual than at this moment. Discovering wasps are little voyeurs who like to watch threesomes helps make them less terrifying. And it turns out that  all I need to cure my phobia was getting fucked by my girlfriend while obeying the man who owns me’s orders. That’s my kind of exposure therapy for sure and the ultimate act of submission…

A Real Buzz

Monogamish

Half of me wishes I’d known all the words and terms for relationships involving more than one person years ago and half of me cringes hearing them now because I have never been a fan of anything with very strict social codes.

When I met my Master he told me that his relationship with Princess was open. In my experience this was usually just the thinking man’s version of ‘my wife doesn’t understand me’ or ‘we aren’t having sex’. An ‘open relationship’ to many men seems to have mutated into ‘I’m open to do what I like but my partner doesn’t know and the same rules don’t apply to her.’

But my Master doesn’t do dissembling and it was clear quite quickly even after the effects of the free bar we met at had faded that he really was in an open relationship that had agreed and defined terms between him and Princess and he was not bullshitting me with a form of performance art as fucking.

Being staggeringly un-self aware at the time (to the point where I was wondered if I was aromantic) this was a real plus point for me as my first thought about this was since he had a girlfriend there was was no danger of him developing any emotions for me (or me for him…)

I had it neatly mapped out in my head that he and I would fuck until he was bored of me, I would never really think about his girlfriend and that being compartmentalised and formal was very grown up and mature because essentially I had no idea sex and affection could co-exist. I was thinking this was the way to have cake and eat it without realising the point of cake is for it to taste good rather than just look impressive.

I was so fearful of stepping outside that ‘cool girl‘ role I’d always ended up in in that and across as negative things like ‘needy’ or ‘clingy’ or jealous that it never occurred me that people like to feel needed or like you matter to them and that most people consider emotions the standard setting in relationships no matter how informal.

I think we all know how my plan worked out. Three years later I’m disappointed I couldn’t go to Ikea with him and Princess today because I had other stuff to do. Not even sharing a bed with both of them fairly often could quite convey how much my compartments turned into feelings and commitments to both of them.

For the first six months I was still fucking other people while seeing him and then he set boundaries about that alongside gifting me my collar and I was almost relieved by those rules. Having thought I never wanted to be ‘tied down’ to be claimed felt reassuring and I had little desire to fuck anyone (except Princess on his say so.)

Branching back out into sex with other men under his orders a few months later surprised me in how uncomfortable it felt. It was like putting on an item of clothing you once loved to find it was out of fashion even though it still fit and you felt like a previous version of yourself in it. I felt strange mentioning it like going from being the slutty no boundaries fun time girl who had agreed to openness  now wanting to close things on her part was somehow reneging on my part of the deal.

A bad date ended up saying it for me and the subject of other people didn’t really come up again. I was surprised when Sir showed little interest in sex with anyone else and wasn’t sure how I’d feel if Princess wanted to date but at the same time I was aware that while I’d changed the dynamic of their marriage in some ways it wasn’t my call to make on how open they were within that.

People who love terms like ‘polycules‘ and ‘metamour‘ always bang on about how much talking is essential to non monogamous relationships of any kind and while I agree up to a point, I’m not a fan of talking for the sake of it. I like to let relationships feel natural and keep the bullet point style for therapy instead.

And sure enough in the last few weeks the subject of other people floated back into the orbit of our relationship. Sir found a potential sissy he might fuck and was invited to another threesome and Princess met a couple of women online keen to see if Tinder would offer up friends with benefits and a little exploration for them.

The thought of Sir fucking other people is hot (and the idea an ex-fuck of his wanted him to guest star just made him all the more desirable to me. No higher compliment than someone being that attracted to your partner after all.) And anything else would have been hypocrisy as that’s how I met him after all.

The idea of Princess dating caused me slightly more pause. I have generally never felt jealous. It’s an emotion I simply can’t relate to but I do have spectacular abandonment issues thanks to my fucked up childhood and I often can’t predict what will set them off. My girlfriend dating seemed like it could be a *thing* where the man who owns me fucking wasn’t.

She and I discussed it and something felt like it wasn’t quite right but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Was I secretly struggling with her fucking other people? Like 90% of my useful thoughts it came when I was washing up. That not quite in place feeling wasn’t jealousy or abandonment or feeling left out. It was feeling like I *should* feel those things when I didn’t. It was the same feeling of being in the wrong room and not knowing how to excuse myself I got when I tried to be monogamous in the past.

Both my Master and I have had the time and opportunity to explore our sexuality and sexual preferences in the way that forms you who you are as a person. Princess being younger and flipping the script round to have found life partners early on hasn’t had that and I would hate to deny her that chance we both so revelled in.

For queer kinky people who and why you fuck like you do is often so intrinsically wrapped up in your personality and your social life that it’s basically your hobby as well as your way to pleasure. It’s the basis of how you discover who you are and it would be really weird if I objected to Princess doing this in a sexual context but approved of her going to a book group in comparison. By determining her hobbies and opportunities I’d be clipping her wings and the thought of doing that was what was sitting so awkwardly.

Once I’d realised that the itchy scratchy feeling I had subsided. I also imagined straight or monogamous people asking me was I not worried she’d meet someone else and chuckling because frankly it’s damn near impossible to meet someone on Tinder or online even if you make it your life’s work. Plus I know just how underwhelming most casual fucks are in bed. There was nothing to fear.

In fact I walked Princess to her date and went home with no worries at all. My only interest was whether she had fun. I didn’t spend my evening tormenting myself picturing her in bed with someone else or catastrophizing in any way. I watched Coronation Street in bed which was frankly more dramatic than my thoughts and hope the casual sex she was having lived up to her expectations.

Spoiler alert: she’ll probably do it again so clearly it wasn’t a disaster but she didn’t have much to say. It sounded remarkably like book group in that respect. I have no issues with her or my Master fucking other people casually and the whole relationship being open in that respect.

But in seeing that happen I realised I have no interest in fucking anyone else myself unless actively involves my Master and Princess being there with me. It turns out for me casual sex involves me being emotionally closed and the openness I need in my relationship is developing that side of me that is open with feelings and love.

That’s the bit my slutty past never taught me when I was picking up sexual skills and good anecdotes and it’s something only my Master and Princess can show me. Turns out I’m soppy, sentimental and my version of romantic with the right people (and my prior lack of awareness was that I was dating dickheads and hanging around with people with personality disorders.)

I just hadn’t realised til now that with all those terms for non monogamy there was more than one way to be open in a relationship…

Monogamish

Spring Warmth

The absolute best time of year for your boiler to stop working is the Saturday afternoon of a four day weekend. I had to get naked at my Master and Princess’s over Easter for purely practical reasons to use their shower while I waited for my landlord to get back to work.

But it did offer up another opportunity to invite a boiler engineer into my house since we all know I love flirting with men who come to my door for work. My Master has me back in stretching training and he’s never a man to miss the chance to push my training further.

So while waiting for the engineer I was to train my cunt with the giant jiggle balls and my waist with the corset, both of which I’ve been neglecting a little bit recently. I love both but potentially wearing them for a time slot between 2pm and midnight was daunting.

The last time I wore the corset, I struggled a bit to get it done up and was panicking a little that I’d lost my hard won waist training milestones. It’s been hanging there taunting me while I’ve been working hard  with the waist trainer.

I brought it down to try it on over the dress I had picked out to make sure there was just slightly more hint of nipple piercings than there should be and was pleased to see that the reason I’d struggled to pull it tight enough was that the laces on one side had twisted and ruined the tension.

A few minutes untangling and untwisting them and a few minutes reminding myself how to pull the laces behind my back properly and the corset went back into place perfectly. I was tempted to keep going but my tits were quite perky enough with an inch to spare so I decided not to push myself in case I was wearing that corset until the clock struck twelve.

I was so pleased that after my worries the corset fitted so well that it didn’t occur to me that I had meant to take it off and put it back on to wear it under my dress. I’ve really missed wearing it and that comforting feeling of being held by it made me only concentrate on enjoying the movements within its structure. I love that feel of being shaped yet supported by the corset just like my submission to Sir.

I was so distracted by that and how wet it was making the panties I’d also been ordered to wear that next thing I knew the boiler engineer had arrived earlier than I’d expected and I had to answer the door with the corset fully on display. And I think it worked well.

Not only was the engineer even friendlier and flirtier this time (bearing in mind he practically invited to visit his parents’ house in Portugal before) but he resisted the temptation to laugh in my face when it turned out the boiler fault was because of my own incredible stupidity with my gas meter. He solved the issue easily but just ‘double checked’ the previous fault again to linger slightly.

I was half enjoying him staying with all the flirtation and flashes of exhibitionism that entailed being the slut for that that I am but I was also desperate for him to leave because Sir had ordered me to make myself come the second he left and I was more than ready for that moment.

I managed to reassure him that my carbon monoxide levels were perfectly safe and I wasn’t going to touch my gas meter again and he finally left. The second I heard my front door close as he let himself out I was leaning against the kitchen work top with my fingers down my panties and not stopping myself from touching my clit.

The corset held me up as I pressed my hand onto my cunt and made myself come hard and fast. It reminded me of when Sir uses the constriction of the corset to hold me up in place while he fucks me against the front door and the thought of that exhibitionism on top of my afternoon made me come very easily.

It was only after I’d texted my Master to thank him for the orgasm and show him my waist training progress in the corset I remembered how visible it had been to the engineer. Even Sir was impressed by that level of blatant sluttery putting it down to my inner instincts rather than accident.

Now all I have to do to impress him further is keep up my training and find a new home for the panties I was wearing when I came…

Spring Warmth

Easter Love Eggs

My Master likes an occasion. From dressing up to Christmas presents he likes to mark events. I am a massive fan of this mix of sentimentality and smut especially as it often ends up with me getting to be my filthy self at moments when he’s pretending to be the very opposite.

I enjoy following his orders and showing him the evidence at any time but there’s a particular slutty impishness I have when I get to send him photos of the sexually creative things I’m doing for him when I know he’s at a family lunch or waiting for a meeting to start.

I think he must enjoy it too because during a family visit over Easter he texted me to tell me that I was going to spend my day with the giant love eggs he bought me for Christmas. After the melodramatic start with them where I managed to lose roughly 300g of metal ben wa ball in my cunt for half a day we haven’t played with them again.

But I’ve been a little bit concerned that I’ve tightened up a touch recently. That last relapse I had health wise definitely set my body back a bit and I haven’t been my usual penetration slut in the same way which is unnerving for anyone who knows my sexual preferences. So I wasn’t going to miss the chance to get back into some training.

Sir started me with what I thought was an April Fool and told me to wear panties for him. It’s been so long since I wore underwear I actually had to go hunting for it which was a lot more enjoyable that it might have been since he told me to wear the small Lelo jiggle balls for an hour to warm me up.

It’s been a while since I wore those as my cunt had stretched enough to not be able to walk with two pairs inside me. This time, I was able to pop a pair in with ease and hold them in place while I suddenly felt a real urge to bend and stand up and do things that made them jiggle and roll and get my cunt soaking wet.

I was then to pull the panties aside and use the new pussy pump on my cunt and then make myself come rubbing my clit through the soaking knickers. It took me a minute or two to get used to having my cunt covered but I actually used to love masturbating while wearing panties so it didn’t take long for my muscle memory to kick in.

The jiggle balls seemed to loop the loop inside me when I started pulling the suction tight on my cunt with the pump. I enjoyed the jolt of jiggling so much I made sure to tighten and loosen the toy three or four times to maximise how wet and swollen the toys were making me.

I’d forgotten just how good the feel of fabric against a dripping wet cunt can be. That feeling of pulling my knickers aside for instant gratification takes me back to those youthful fucks that were just about getting to cock and therefore orgasm as fast as possible. It reminds me of balancing on my tiptoes in alleyways and toilet cubicles to push my cunt down harder on hard cock and it always turns me on even now.

I didn’t take that long to come. I’m not sure I’ve combined panties, piercing and pure horniness ever, but letting the fabric slip slickly up and down my swollen clit and create a friction on my piercing with fingers worked magic and I came ridiculously hard sending Sir some excellent photos.

pink panties and pussy pumpHe approved enough to tell me to repeat my orders with the giant jiggle balls and that when I’d come with those he would give me my next order. I had come so hard and ejaculated so much that when I took the Lelo balls out my panties were beyond wear because they were so wet. I slipped them off and got ready to rumble with the giant jiggle balls.

I was expecting to find them a little tricky to get in since my cunt is so out of practice at the moment. I rolled the first one up and down my sopping cunt and it was so slippery it was like I’d used lube. I pressed it against my cunt and it just glided in with the merest pressure with my two fingers. My cunt swallowed it whole with one hungry gulp and I was left with dripping wet fingers for the second one.

My fingers have been inside my soaking wet cuntI didn’t need lube for that one either as it slid in with a satisfying thud against its twin that reverberated through my cunt and down to my toes. Despite not having had much in my cunt for months, the balls were actually less uncomfortable than the first time I’d worn them and I couldn’t wait to feel them tilting and moving when I used the pump.

Giant ben wa ball in my gaping cunt

The new pair of panties I put on to accompany them were a sopping sodden mess in no time and my cunt was dripping onto the bed when I took the pump off. I actually thought for a minute that the combination of the balls and the pump had made me squirt already but I was just that wet.

In fact I was so wet my fingers just kept sliding off my clit even with the fabric and I had to use the heel pressed into my cunt with my fingers cupped underneath holding me to make myself come. I came hard enough that the second jiggle ball slipped down and rolled out which actually felt amazing stretching me open like when Sir takes his fist out of me.

I texted him more very family unfriendly photos and awaited my next orders. No more orgasms sadly but I needed to find a site I can sell my soaking wet panties I’ve fucked myself in to people online…

Easter Love Eggs