In many ways I take sex very seriously. It’s a massive part of my relationship with my Master and Princess, it’s been the source of many of my biggest life events, a way to meet people and one of my most long enjoyed hobbies. I’m the sexual equivalent of those people you’d describe as a ‘foodie’.
Yet I also have a tendency to laugh while I’m having sex. Not at anyone I’m having sex with I hasten to add because that would make me an asshole above anything else but I have always found laughter during around having sex a fundamental part of how I have sex.
Part of this is because sex is intrinsically hilarious to me if you think about it. Imagine yourself describing the act of sex to an alien that had just landed from outer space and didn’t understand humanity. It sounds both baffling and hilarious when you spell the whole thing out as something we do for pleasure (and spend so much our energies on generally.)
Sex involves doing intimate and slightly awkward things with other people and it’s fraught with the possibility of embarrassment and vulnerability and definitely some bodily fluids. All these things can be nerve wracking and the best antidote to that is laughter. If you can’t laugh with someone you probably shouldn’t be naked with them is a rule I’ve always lived life by.
And sex is fun. People laugh when they are having fun. It’s a natural part of human interaction and for me it really adds to the enjoyment of sex. It’s the bit that smoothes over the fact I can’t tell my left from right when I’m trying to get into a certain position or makes the moment I fell off on the bed funny rather than a break in the proceedings. And it’s really the only way to handle it when someone else walks in on you mid fuck.
But I also laugh when I’m out of my depth sexually and want to make myself feel less awkward. Giggling is a reflex when I’m not sure how to else to respond. Like when Princess sticks her tongue in my mouth or licks my face. I dissolve into the kind of laughing that means I just don’t have any other ideas what to do. It’s as bratty as I can get basically squirming away from that or when my Master touches the soles of my feet.
I used to be so super serious submissive with him that I was practically formal. Some of that trying to concentrate on the specific kinky act we were up to at the time because for example bursting out laughing when someone is trying to fist you is incredibly off putting. But a lot of it was because the kink and BDSM scene talks about kinkiness as something almost sacredly serious that can never be light hearted or you aren’t doing it ‘properly’.
For someone who takes sex and submission seriously in that it’s an intrinsic part of who I am and who had struggled to feel kinky ‘enough’ for a long time, the idea of not being seen to serve my Master ‘properly’ really bothered me. It was important to prove that my submission was serious and that my Master mattered to me and I didn’t think I could do that if I was giggly or silly while I submitted.
I’m not suggesting that I start doing stand up or making puppets out of rope while I’m submitting to Sir, but I really like that I’m getting better at being more light hearted with him. We’ve always been good at teasing each other while we’re fully dressed but I like that I don’t feel like I don’t have to be so stiff and formal any more to perform my submission. Instead I feel more confident in being able to be kinky in the way I feel comfortable with.
Also it seems ridiculous that since my Master and Princess make me happy in so many others that I wouldn’t show that while we’re actually being sexual. Plus I’m sure that getting the giggles helps with orgasms too…