Out Of Mind

My Master and Princess have been away for the weekend and because of that I haven’t spoken to them very much. I assumed they’d be pre-occupied and let them get on with it while I plotted a small surprise here for both of them. In fact that was so uppermost in mind that until I spoke to Sir about something else while they were in an airport, I sort of forgot they were still connected to the world as usual.

And it suddenly occurred to me that not only could they still, thanks to the wonders of smartphones, read my blog if they were killing time in an airport lounge but that it hadn’t even entered my head how either of them might feel about reading posts I’ve started writing about other people I’ve fucked.

I’m pretty sure both of them were aware that I’d had some experience beforehand (although if you believe in the concept of virginity, technically Princess took mine with women) but I hadn’t thought before I published if they’d mind reading actual details in the way it’s seen as inappropriate to discuss exes that way usually.

Such a tiny number of the men I’ve ever fucked could be described as an actual ex that I suppose in my head I’d drawn some kind of arbitrary line that it becomes more like describing a night out or a meal I once had. Plus our relationship has always been about sharing sexual things so I didn’t stop to think. Maybe if I’d done more ‘proper’ dating than fucking I’d be more used to automatically considering my partners in that way?

Still gut instinct tells me that despite being owned by my Master he’s not the possessive type in that way and that Princess is more likely to shake her head teasingly about my cunt first think later twenties since she’s always been the opposite to me and combined sex and emotions together.

So I’m pretty sure neither of them read it and felt jealous. But I wondered what else, if anything, it brought up? Are either of them reading it and thinking ‘for fuck’s sake, what were you thinking?’ as I recount a filthy anecdote that is also dripping in risk taking, bad decision making and not even stopping to think about self respect if there was cock to be chased.

It wouldn’t surprise me if it flashed across their mind as it’s certainly crossed mine a few times when I’ve been writing about my past and I want to ask the twenty three old me if she had any fucking sense whatsoever and would she like the number of my excellent therapist instead of a dating app.

I don’t regret my slutty past but I can’t help feel some embarrassment about some of my choices (and a profound sense of relief it was pre internet and pre camera phone.) But I hadn’t realised that it would bother me if my Master or Princess thought less of me for being an idiot rather than being slutty per se.

But then they both tease me affectionately about the married man I was fucking when I met my Master and the fact it took me nearly six months of sex to notice he didn’t have all his front teeth. And if they don’t necessarily judge me for that, then we could assume they aren’t going to start raising eyebrows now.

So what if there’s another possibility? And they find the stories hot? That in some ways it isn’t that different to fantasising about me in a scenario they might want to enact or watching me masturbate in a clip that they can put their own interpretation and kinks on? Maybe it gives them ideas of filth that it wouldn’t have occurred to me to tell them about but enjoyed?

Now that’s an incentive to blog more….

Out Of Mind

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