September is Bi Visibility Month which intrigues me because before I met my Master I very much considered myself 100% straight. Yes, I spent a lot of time correcting people who assumed I wasn’t because I had short hair and 90% of my friends weren’t straight but it never occurred to me that I might not be either.
I did spend as much time looking at women as men but having gone to an all girls school where being a ‘lemon’ or ‘lezzer’ was the second worst sin possible after masturbation, I assumed this fascination with women’s looks was an extension of my love of make up and fashion and staring was the analogue version of Pinterest or YouTube channels for eyeliner ideas.
Combined with my (apparently unusual) habit of rarely fantasising about future sexual experiences where I picture things I want to have happen but replaying previous sexual moments, I was confused into straightness by never picturing myself having sex with those women I thought about so much.
I was also aware of many of the myths and stereotypes around bisexual women and even when there was the odd occasion where I could have experimented had I chosen to (in hindsight I’ve been on more than a few dates with women I didn’t clock as dates at the time) I didn’t want to be that awful lipstick lesbian with a taste for tourism. Curiosity killed the cat and you shouldn’t play with someone’s pussy just for the experience.
As well as not wanting to dabble, I didn’t want to be the straight girl having a threesome with a guy and his girlfriend because she was bi or poly curious and he wanted to watch her with a girl but wouldn’t be keen if that threesome was MMF instead. I turned my Master down on that opportunity with another woman (who wasn’t Princess) on more than one occasion in fact leading to the only disagreement in our relationship so far.
I’m not sure what changed my mind. Maybe it was when a close friend at the time accused me of co-opting her bisexuality when I talked to her about starting to think about fucking my Master and Princess together and it pissed me off that it didn’t even occur to her that this might be more than me wanting to perform for the male gaze. The fact that her negativity put that idea in my own head definitely surprised and intrigued me and made me ready to try something new.
The only other thing holding me back was the fear of not knowing what I was doing and being a beginner again. There was certain amount of my sexual identity wrapped up in really knowing my way round a cock and while I was certainly learning all kinds of new sexual skills as my Master trained me, it was it was slutty enhancement rather than anything else.
In the end having overthought the whole thing so much the first time I had sex with a woman turned out to be life changing but none of the things I had worried about. My lack of experience wasn’t a hinderance and my enthusiasm surprised even me. That tiny fear that I wouldn’t like cunt after all was misplaced as I was more comfortable immediately with a woman I had doubted I could sleep with than many of the men I’d actively pursued over the years.
It helps that the first woman I had sex with turned out to be absolutely the right woman for me and that I’ve had all the opportunities I could have wished for to develop my relationship with her and Sir. I still don’t know how much I want to fuck other women because right now I don’t want to fuck anyone at all who isn’t Princess or my Master.
I’m not sure which would have surprised me more if you’d told me about it three years ago: sex with a woman or only wanting to fuck one man. I’m not sure I’d have believed you about either frankly when I first met my Master but now I was reading this piece from Cosmo about what I’ve learned from sleeping with women as well as men and agreeing with everything in it.