Coincidentally around the time my relationship with my Master began I started keeping a diary. It was really to try and develop the habit generally but it turned out to be fortuitous timing as in between the notes of people’s birthdays or appointments, there are unexpected milestones such as ‘the first time my Master fisted me’ or ‘Sir ordered me to make myself come in a public place tonight.’
This catalogue of smut amuses me immensely with its record of my training and a glimpse into what I find important enough to note in my life. It also shows me how things can change in just a year.
Because this time last year, my Master was planning the second threesome with his wife and me and I had absolutely no idea what that would lead to. I mean I knew there would be fun and orgasms but I never expected the emotions and relationship that developed from that night turning ‘the wife‘ into Princess and then into such an important person in my life.
I have a quite different relationship with both my Master and Princess. She is my girlfriend in the way that most people would imagine such a thing. We not only fuck but share that close friendship required in a relationship. My Master and I are friends too but in a very different way and I don’t wan to turn him into what I have with Princess as it works so well as it is.
But among my friends who know that I’m part of a relationship involving three people (and the question that wider society asks about relationships like this) is ‘don’t you feel second best to their marriage?’
And for me, the answer is definitely no. I never feel any less important because I’m not married to either of them. Other people might feel very differently but for me discovering that there is a style of polyamory known as ‘solo poly‘ was life changing. Put simply this is when you choose to be the ‘extra’ partner outside the marriage or ‘primary’ couple and aren’t seen as lesser for that role.
I never fitted well into ‘traditional’ or monogamous relationships before now. Even on the occasions when I was dating someone I really liked I felt restless and confined quite quickly and the relationships never lasted more than a few months. I assumed I was just being a bit of a diva who tired of people easily and was impossible to please or even worse, a bit of a bitch.
This latter suspicion was confirmed by the fact I felt very comfortable in the relationships I’d had with married men where I was basically the bit on the side. I disliked my part in their infidelity but couldn’t help enjoying the model of a relationship where I could see other people and continue to structure my life around myself as much as them.
My Master was completely honest with me from the moment we met that he was in a relationship and that Princess knew and agreed to him having other relationships. Slightly unfairly I took that statement with a pinch of salt as I’d heard it before with varying levels of truth to it and because I didn’t really care.
I assumed we’d have a sexually charged fling with no real emotion that would wear itself out and not really matter. So as the months passed and things were building up and it was becoming obvious that he’d been completely truthful about his relationship being open, something very odd happened and I started to be less interested in fucking any other men apart from him.
Everything I’d thought about who I was in relationships somehow seemed to have been turned on its head and I was a bit confused but extremely happy with everything. I’d always joked that my dream man lived on an oil rig and I saw him every three weeks and got my bed to myself most nights.
Then Princess came along a year ago and everything got turned upside down again and put back into place in new ways. I still wasn’t really interested in fucking other men apart from my Master (unless he was there too) but I was very interested in fucking her and getting to know her as person.
Plus I really liked this new relationship where there were three of us fitting together alongside the feeling of three different couples in the dynamic (me and my Master, Princes and my Master and me and Princess) and that sense that each of us was getting what they needed from the dynamic.
I had the full time emotions of no longer being single but with my living alone lifestyle, Princess had the female friendship and sex she’d been missing, Sir had his wife full time and the sexual enjoyment of his slut on the side. Having such clear roles that fit together so well certainly works for all of us.
I’ve certainly ended up getting exactly what I wanted but couldn’t articulate I needed because I had no idea relationships like this existed in a society that insists monogamy is the only way love can be valid. It might not work for everyone (and like all relationships, it does require work.) And trust and effort and acceptance and all the things that add to the very hot sex.
But how could I feel second best in something like that where each person’s role is just as important as the next? Here’s to many more years…