Just as the rest of the world is starting to hibernate, my body is starting to wake up more. Yesterday I spent the day wearing my corset for a few hours to remind my waist what it’s supposed to be doing and just the act of lacing myself into it made me think of my Master.
I haven’t had anything inside me since his cock and I was starting to worry that my cunt would have forgotten what it had been trained for too. More than missing getting fucked, I’ve been missing being able to submit to him.
Despite actually writing this blog every day, I hadn’t really realised just how much all the small acts of repeated submission to him build up to create a structure that is so important to my life, I can’t remember what it was like before him.
So while it’s been frustrating to be unwell recently, it’s been interesting to be confronted with that realisation and made to question it. Part of me likes how naturally my submission comes to me and part of me was shocked to see how close I was coming to taking it for granted and not appreciating it enough.
Having to stop and say to my Master how much I missed that submission seemed like a good way to start it being active again. He’s been extremely thoughtful in allowing me space the last few weeks to step back from something that is usually so fundamental to how we communicate and it seemed appropriate to come back to him deliberately.
Before he could even give me small steps of submission to remind me what I’m trained to do, just having the conversation caused me to have an incredibly vivid dream about him asserting his dominance over me again.
Normally my favourite way to suck my Master’s cock is down on my knees, blindfolded and waiting for him to push his cock into my mouth as he walks into my house but this time it was even more submissive.
I dreamt that he woke me up leaning over me knees either side of me as I lay in bed asleep with his hands against the wall and his cock in my mouth so that as I woke up it pushed further into the back of my throat.
Despite being something I would almost certainly not want to do in real life, as a dream it felt like a fantasy so vivid I could practically imagine the taste and feel of his cock in my mouth. It’s no wonder I woke up soaking wet and waiting to hear his orders for me…