Starting Again

I’ve definitely getting back to feeling sexual while I’m awake as well as in my sleep so when Princess came round yesterday it was definitely an excuse to see how far I could push myself.

There was no difficulty starting off kissing and feeling it start go to my cunt. Nor was there any difficulty in letting my hands slide down her ass and round to cup her cunt through her panties. I love not wearing underwear on my Master’s orders but I love feeling Princess get wet through the fabric of hers.

But I also love feeling her get wet under my fingers too so it wasn’t long before I was slipping my hand over her freshly shaved cunt and just holding her as we kissed. The more slick her cunt felt the more mine responded in turn.

So it took a lot of willpower to do no more than simply press her hand into her pussy and let her squirm against it until she had to ask me to either make her come or stop completely.

I stopped in order to keep her learning about delayed gratification. But now I’m the one squirming wishing I’d made a different decision…

Starting Again

Sweet Dreams

As I mentioned I’ve been rather out of the kink loop recently. Amongst other things, an old health issue has reappeared and laid me low rather than allowing me to get laid and my libido has been a shy quiet thing because of it.

I’m so used to being strongly driven by my sexual urges that always leaves me slightly adrift when they aren’t there as if part of me is missing or not clicking into place properly. Being submissive to my Master is such a prominent part of my time, energy and attention that to be unable to be active about it unsettles me somehow.

On a practical level I don’t quite know what to do with all the extra time on my hands when I’m not feeling sexual. Even my interest in things like reading about sex or kink fades at this stage, a bit like not caring what’s on a menu when you aren’t hungry.

So suddenly so much of what usually piques my interest leaves me neutral and yet I lack the long term interest to take up another hobby instead. It’s a strange limbo that I want to snap out of and yet can’t completely kickstart either.

I just have to wait for my body to essentially wake that side of me up again and come out of hibernation. There are a few things I can do to start luring it out. After a period of time in pyjamas and slippers, I can start wearing clothes I feel attractive in again or start sending flirtier Whatsapp messages to Princess again.

And those small steps help. Having not been able to muster the wherewithal to shave my cunt for a couple of weeks, making the effort again at the weekend almost immediately resulted in having a dream that night that woke me up with an orgasm in my sleep.

Next thing I was back to wearing the waist trainer for a while and feeling more like myself again and voila, another sexually charged dream about being fucked by a couple the same night. No no effort orgasm in my sleep this time but the temptation to help myself along as I woke up to the urge.

But better than the orgasm was the deliberate choice not to scratch the itch and actively follow the order that my Master doesn’t allow me to masturbate and thus get back to my submissive self even slowly.

Hopefully holding off the action but encouraging the thoughts also helps me horny enough to get back to actual fucking sooner rather than later. I miss the feel of fucking both my Master and Princess…

Sweet Dreams

Celebrations

I’ve been so distracted recently I forgot to check my diary and thus missed International Fisting Day on the 21st October despite that being more my thing than a Harvest festival.

Set up by the fantastic Jiz Lee and Courtney Trouble, it’s not just designed to be a celebration of the enjoyment of the act of fisting but also to highlight the laws that make fisting porn currently so difficult to access.

Classed as obscene, showing the act of consensual fisting is basically banned in the UK and USA under the last changes to obscenity laws. While I understand the need to have some regulation of porn and obscenity, it troubles me and many other people that so many of the acts deemed unwatchable are based around unconventional female pleasure such as fisting or female ejaculation or facesitting.

I don’t pretend to be an expert on the legalities of the issue but if you like kinky porn, check the work of the lawyer Myles Jackman who is raising these issues from an expert point of view to prevent people being unfairly penalised for their sexual tastes.

I, on the other hand will be supporting the work of people like him and the Kink Olympixx campaign to protect rights around this and the forthcoming Digital Economy Bill will affect those who like our lives kinky, smutty and online.

This means that of course I get to make the political personal the next time I am fisted or fist Princess. And I can get behind campaigning with orgasms…

Celebrations

Picture This

Life is still conspiring against my libido butI’m enjoying seeing these pictures by Oh Tom Starling come up in my Twitter feed while I’m on hiatus.

Very sexy and very stylish they are keeping my brain ticking over just enough to stop my brain from getting bored without a diet of near constant smut and suggestion.

He’s taking requests for images so if there’s a very hot idea you have in mind, tell him. And maybe share it with me too as homework…

Picture This

Pause

I haven’t had an orgasm in two weeks. Not because my Master has been giving me orders and keeping me on edge, but because life has got in the way. Illness, trips away, life events and the general day to day has cropped up in those two weeks which for me has led to no orgasms.

A few years ago I’d be climbing the walls by now but my Master’s training has paid off in making me much less impatient for orgasms. Before I met him I didn’t think particularly about what kind of orgasm it was or where it came from, just the simple act of coming like scratching some kind of itch before moving on.

Now after his training, I’m less impatient but more greedy for orgasms. I want them to be good enough to savour. I’m prepared to work for them if that means following tasks, withholding them until given permission or simply giving myself over to what he wants.

The irony if course is now that I’m not as frantic for orgasms, they are easier to me to have. I routinely lose count of how many orgasms I have with either my Master or Princess and I’ve never had sex with either of them without an orgasm.

And in all honesty, I’d now be surprised if I didn’t even though I’ve previously had sexual encounters with other people that were more then enjoyable and didn’t lead to any orgasm on my part. I haven’t considered an orgasm an essential part of sex for me although I very much like to give my partner one.

So I was interested to read this piece by Exhibit A about sex without orgasms and be reminded that I’ve been living in a bit of a bubble recently filled with seemingly non stop orgasms and it’s no wonder the real world has finally interjected.

It will definitely do me good to reminded not to get nonchalant about the number of orgasms I’ve been having. Interestingly though the piece made me think more about my Master’s orgasms than mine.

I may end up having multiple orgasms with him and enjoying every one, but thinking about the intensity of the one orgasm he has at the end of a scene and how it feels when he comes into me goes straight to my cunt now as I type…

Pause

Stirrings

I got an amusing text last night from a friend telling me that she was delighted to find that Labyrinth was on Netflix because she’d just bought her first Doxy and that was the film that gave her her first sexual feelings as a girl so it seemed appropriate to combine them.

I’ve lost count of how many of my peers, both male and female, first discovered some inner feelings to David Bowie in those tight trousers. There was as much grieving for those feelings when he died this year as for his music amongst my friends.

I can’t remember anything about the film except those grey tights and unlike friends who went on to other filthy thoughts soon after, I still harbour such a thing about men in tights that it was the thing that kick started my relationship with my Master properly.

Several months of friendly but flirty texts turned into an unexpected and incredibly sexually charged moment that began our whole relationship when he sent me a photograph of himself in drag one afternoon.

Seeing his legs in stockings quite literally put me under his spell and in the space of about ten minutes I was playing with my pussy for a man I’d met twice before. It’s no surprise that I can still picture that photo in my head almost two years later because few things do it for me more than imagining a man’s cock in tights.

Women’s tights (rather than stockings) tend to be oddly asexual but the opposite is true for men. They enhance the sheer sexuality of a man’s cock in a way that male underwear rarely does for me.

And then there’s the confidence required for a man to wear something supposedly so feminine and carry it off. I used to live with a guy who taught ballet to soldiers to improve their fitness and recovery from injuries and few people were more sure in themselves than him and his fellow dancers.

More than one hyper-masculine squaddie lived to regret taking the piss out of them for sure. I on the other hand very much enjoyed having a houseful of men who wore tights for a living, even if my flatmate was terrible at paying his rent on time.

So  it seemed apt that I looked at one of my favourite sites, the fantastic Critique My Dick Pic today, and found an image of a man in tights that will give me very sweet dreams tonight indeed

Stirrings

Three’s Company

I loved this post by Exhibit A about a MFF threesome and all the expectations, pressures and achievements within such an event. It’s a very sexy, very tender and very vulnerable piece of writing and well worth a read.

Interestingly none of these thoughts had come into my head in the past four or five months of having fairly regular threesomes with my Master and Princess. I was however, full of overthinking the situation before I actually had a threesome with another woman.

Some of that was good old fashioned inexperience. I’d never had sex with a woman before and I was nervous that I wouldn’t be any good or even worse, just not that into it. The last thing I wanted was to make Princess feel bad while she was in my bed.

I can’t account for the quality of my sexual actions the first few times with Princess but when it came down to it, I couldn’t believe how much I enjoyed it and how wet it got me. I felt no hesitation at all in part because my Master had me blindfolded throughout so I had to trust him and follow his orders rather than think for myself.

The fact I had never seen or spoken to Princess until after we’d fucked for the first time simply enhanced it for me by removing any preconceptions or expectations. Essentially it turned out to be the ultimate blind date.

I never felt any pressure from either of them. Any concerns I had were entirely self imposed. I never felt worried about having sex with a couple who know each other well and feeling excluded or second best and I trusted my Master to have my back if anything seemed tricky.

Not knowing what either of them were thinking definitely helped even though it goes against all the advice I’ve ever seen on the subject which is to all talk first, set boundaries and discuss as much as possible. I much prefer simply putting my trust in my Master and letting him take charge since he does know both Princess and I quite well.

I had also completely forgotten until after that first threesome with my Master and Princess that it wasn’t actually my first threesome. I’m not entirely sure how you forget such things, but I think in part its because none of the three people involved in ever referred to it that way and so I never made the association.

When I was in my teens, I had a relationship for four or five months with two men. Long before I’d ever heard of polyamory or ethical non monogamy or probably even a threesome (it was Ireland in the 90s. Hardly a hot bed of sexual enlightenment) it was great fun and very non complicated.

They were both bisexual men in a couple and I fucked both of them separately and together and enjoyed both equally. I loved my cunt being the novelty in the scenario. But I especially loved watching two men clearly enjoying fucking and sucking each other and simply considering my cunt an added bonus rather than the main show.

Both those first threesomes taught me that the best way to approach such a thing is to want to share your partners. It’s not a time to be selfish or territorial but to want the best for everyone involved and work together as a team.

That way you get to discover just how useful a third pair of hands is in bed…

Three’s Company