I’m so glad last year was the year I decided to start keeping a diary because it’s fascinating looking back and seeing what stage my training from my Master was back then. In amongst the details of the rest of my life, it makes me smile to see the tasks he had set me and how I reacted to them.
It’s hard to believe that the biggest one of all was exactly a year ago when he gave me my collar. Traditionally a physical collar worn around the neck, in the D/s community it is a sign of commitment and ownership.
In offering a collar a dominant agrees to take on the responsibility and care inherent in owning another person and in accepting a collar, the submissive agrees to respect and serve their dominant.
Within protocols there are different types of collars and the exact significance varies within each relationship, but it is a high honour often regarded as similar to the level of commitment suggested by an engagement ring in non D/s relationships.
I had never heard of this aspect of the collar and assumed they were simply a rather hot prop that got used in BDSM play because it looked good and was a fun way to denote roles. Also a lot of my kinky friends are into pet play so I never looked beyond the surface style. I just liked the look of black leather.
I was also distracted by the tasks my Master was setting. They were increasingly complicated and intense and demanding of my attention. I loved them. I was still seeing other people apart from him but he was the only person holding my attention past their cock being hard.
He combined the two aspects by setting me a challenge to put an online ad on a hook up site saying I was a submissive cock sucking slut and suck three men’s cocks in a week. My reward if I completed the task was that he would collar me.
Unaware of what that meant, I was slightly nervous to whether this was a genuine reward or simply something else challenging. After Googling it all on his orders, I discovered it was both at the same time.
To say that I had never done commitment before in my life sounds like an understatement but in reality I’d never so much as left a toothbrush at a man’s house before. The idea of significant jewellery was so far outside my comprehension that I simply concentrated on sucking cock instead.
I completed my task with a male stripper I was dating, a total stranger from online with good dirty talk who turned out to know several people in common and a cute guy who turned out to have an equally cute cock and a distinctly un-cute attitude to slutty girls.
The collar wasn’t mentioned again for several months which in some ways suited me nicely so I could slowly acclimatise myself to the whole idea of commitment without panicking and running away.
I concentrated on tracking down somewhere to get my clit piercing instead and somehow I wasn’t surprised when my Master told me it would be my collar. Body modification suited me better than wearing an external item and I guessed we’d both enjoy the results.
On the day of the piercing my Master came round to see me before and brought me a gift of the John Holmes toy which he fucked me with before coming in my mouth and sending me off to the piercer thinking of him.
The actual piercing was surprisingly easy, hurting less and being quicker than most bikini waxes I’ve had. I loved the look of the piercing immediately although it took a few weeks to get used to the feel of it both day to day and sexually.
I loved how excited it made my Master though and that told me that I had done exactly the right thing agreeing to being owned by him. It’s hard to believe how much has developed since then but the fact I’ve only had the teeniest tiniest wobble about commitment in that time and managed to build upon it tells me that permanently changing for my body for my Master was the best decision I’ve ever made…