I have a mountain of work to do and I should really be doing some housework too and yet I’m doing neither. Instead I’m researching outfits and ideas for Princess to wear as part of my Master’s plan for me to transform her.
I’m taking her shopping this weekend and instructing her what to buy and it seems like an excellent way for me to learn to give orders and start choreographing scenes with a submissive to build up my skills.
I’ve been loving the dynamic of playing with Princess and my Master together recently but noticed that I find it difficult to give orders when I’m turned on. I’m so used to being submissive to my Master and have a tendency to go into what people term ‘subspace‘ which makes it hard for me to multi task.
Each person’s subspace varies and not everyone does it but for me I become a mixture of very relaxed yet very heightened in feeling and sense. My reactions are oddly slowed yet I feel everything more. Sensations that would normally be unpleasant or overwhelming become deeply enjoyable and almost soothing.
It’s a bit like a sexual equivalent of that two drink buzz when you’re relaxed enough to feel like your best self but not realise you are impaired in any way. I lose my nerves and become very focused but have a tendency to not being able to make much sound or think in linear thoughts.
Not only is it about being the right headspace of quite an intense sexual scenario that requires a lot of trust, biology means all the blood is rushing from my head to my cunt and I don’t think straight. It tends to make me very tired but giddy afterwards too.
I know some people refer to the concept of ‘top space’ too as where a Dom goes in a scene and I’m now intrigued as to how much of this is learned behaviours, personal reaction and biology. I notice my Master often gets even better at giving orders or more able to articulate himself as the scene goes on and it can last for a while after it finishes.
For someone like me who really struggles to make any sound while playing, I suspect this is going to take as much training in many ways as my submissiveness did. So I look forward to starting with Princess when we’re in public…