I didn’t get the opportunity to blog yesterday because I was working on some clips for Candi’s Clips 4 Sale site. I’ve had new clips several times each week and I’m enjoying getting feedback and finding my feet with selling the clips.
I’m having to learn to temper my impatience though. Through my submission to my Master I’ve noticed I’m a mix of being slow to learn something and then impatient to have mastered it as soon as I start.
His control of me reins the worst of my impulsiveness and poor decision making in while guiding me toward slowly but surely working on my tasks and orders. His dominance focuses me.
Every so often the impatient part of me that just thinks with her cunt comes to the fore though. This morning my Master and I were talking and he gave me permission to get a new piercing any time I feel the itch for one.
I immediately pushed my luck slightly and told him how much I now wanted my tongue pierced. I’ve gone from feeling faintly freaked out by the mere thought of it to curious to really looking forward to it and imagining how it will look and feel, both to my Master and to me.
However I knew as I was saying it that my Master set me a rule about the tongue piercing a few months ago. I couldn’t have it done until I licked more pussy. In fact I think the number of ten was mentioned. I hadn’t forgotten and I knew he wouldn’t have either. My Master is not the forgetting what order he gave me type.
But it didn’t stop me chancing my arm because it’s bothering me that I haven’t ticked it off my 2015 list, let alone the 2016 one. I’m often so preoccupied by completing a task I forget that they weren’t designed to be simple easy things you could idly tick off like a shopping list. They are meant to slow my impatience down and challenge me to savour the steps as much as the end result.
And to test me he offered me a shortcut to the tongue piercing. All I had to do was slip four fingers into my cunt and ask him to tell me what the short cut was, but to know there was a price to accompany it.
My fingers were slipped inside me before I thought much further and then I stopped and engaged my brain for once. My Master was specifically telling me to stop and listen and not metaphorically bite off more than I can chew.
So I paid attention and didn’t ask. Instead I’ll concentrate on what he has already asked me to do. I feel like not doing things for him is being bratty or not trying hard enough, but I think I’m finally realising doing things for the sake of them and not doing them well enough isn’t submission in itself.
And my Master rewarded me with the opportunity to message his wife to arrange an opportunity to try and lick pussy again with her. Just the thought of how much that will please him made me very glad I’d made the choice I had…