I was asked for some advice on how to fist someone earlier on Twitter and decided it would be much better to answer in detail here than send a thousand DMs back and forward on the subject.
They asked “how would you approach a sexual partner about trying fisting the first time? And if they said yes, what’s the best way to start out?”
The first thing I’d say is what I’d say to anyone discussing a kink or sexual activity with anyone, make sure you are thinking about the person you are asking. Do you want to share that experience with them specifically or simply tick it off a list of things you want to try with anyone?
It takes a lot of trust to express a sexual desire to someone but if the person you express it to knows it’s because you trust them and want to share the pleasure with them, they are more likely to be open to the idea.
But also be prepared to hear no and to listen to the no. Everyone is entitled to decide what they want to do with their body and with a kink like fisting, many women will have strong feelings about it.
The idea of a tight pussy is so highly prized in Western culture that most women will probably be concerned about making it looser. I’ve never had any qualms about being thought of as slutty and yet I was still worried what a loose cunt would mean when men other than my Master felt it. I’ve been surprised how many men aren’t fixated on tightness in fact!
In fact my pussy was so tight when I met my Master that two fingers were a struggle and I never used tampons because they were so uncomfortable. The idea of being able to take his whole fist seemed completely incredible to the point of unreal.
He started me slowly, mainly with the enthusiasm about stretching. It began with an extra finger each time we fucked, ordering me to wear a pair of light jiggle balls til I wore them out, then a heavier pair, then two pairs at a time, using the butt plugs I was stretching my ass with inside my pussy too and getting used to be able to slip three, then four, then five fingers into myself.
He encouraged and gave the orders which gave me the confidence to keep trying even when I thought I couldn’t do things. His patience was as much a turn on as the activities themselves. He never let me away without trying my best but respected my own pace.
This means that being stretched and fisted has never caused me any pain physically. I did momentarily black out from an orgasm when my Master put the wand inside on full power for the first time, but otherwise it was never unpleasant in anyway.
Being confident and following the cues that your cunt gives you along with a lot of lube makes this all easier. Sometimes I think my Master knows my body better than I do because sometimes due to hormones, time of the month, tiredness or stress, you can’t stretch as much as previously. Know your limits, don’t feel like a failure and just do something else or enjoy the progress you have made.
I was starting to think I would never take my Master’s fist when suddenly it just slipped inside and felt like the most natural and deliciously obscene thing possible. My cunt couldn’t get enough of it because it gives me the most incredible orgasms and because seeing how much he enjoys fisting me is intoxicating.
It took about nine months to get from my tight little pussy to taking a fist and then another 3 or 4 months to be able to perform Candi’s tricks. Everyone is different and sadly it may depends on the size of your hand if you can do it at all.
Communication, patience, perseverance, experimentation, several bottles of Liquid Silk and some pretty strong pelvic floor muscles all allowed me to please my Master this way. But as I’m yet to fist anyone except myself, I’ll leave it to Autostraddle to give you the best practical advice on how to bury yourself up to the wrist in a hot wet horny cunt as you feel it come repeatedly round your hand…